“I am a 65-year-old divorced, professional woman. I have a great career, a teenager at home and three other children who are grown up and living on their own.
I was married to a man for over two decades and we had a nasty divorce about 15 years ago. Since that divorce, I have had two five-year relationships with women. Everyone knows me as lesbian.
This may seem strange but, after all these years, I find myself attracted to males again and believe my personality and behavior are more compatible with men.
My friends are supportive. My children have always thought of me as bisexual.
I have a divorced male friend and colleague of several years and he knows me only as a lesbian. We are both self-employed mental health practitioners and we cross paths at workshops, in town, etc.
I have always felt his attraction to me, but when I was with women I never considered pursuing anything.
I could be wrong about his attraction to me and do not want to assume anything, but I would like to tell him that I am no longer interested in romantic relationships with women.
How can I say that I am not lesbian anymore without sounding weird? I tend to be shy and do better via email. — Searching”
Dear Searching:
I’m not an expert on the matter, but I don’t think you’re “not lesbian anymore”. I don’t think that’s how it works….You seem to be attracted to both sexes. As for this male colleague of yours, I say if it feels good do it! And by “it” I mean approach him however you want to so that you are comfortable. If that’s via e-mail then get after it!