Monthly Archives: March 2015

18/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Sugar Addiction Ain’t Sweet

“I am a young teen who has a bad addiction to sugar. When I have tea, I put way too much sugar in it. I eat a ton of chocolate.

My parents keep telling me to cut back on the sugar and candy. It’s not because I’m overweight, it’s just because they say it’s really unhealthy.

I hate this part of me, and need to find a way to end my sugar addiction. Any ideas that I can try on my own? — Sugar-crazed”

Dear Crazed:

I used to drink quite a bit of soda and then I just quit cold turkey. It wasn’t like I was pounding three cans of Dr. Pepper per meal, but I conscious of my soda drinking habit. Then a few years ago I got back into running and cut out the sugary drink entirely. I knew from my time as a high school cross country runner that carbonated beverages, like soda, would hinder my running and I wanted to be faster/better so the choice was easy.

Candy is another beast entirely. I love candy. I cannot get enough of it even though I know I shouldn’t have too much. It’s not chocolate though, it’s the fruity candy’s like Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Sweet Tarts etc. that get to me. I tend to go on binges where I’ll pig out on candy and then just find it disgusting and not for me. It’s cyclical.

It’s during these binge moments that I’ve recently been trying to use more self-control. I stare at the colorful packaging and tell myself that I don’t need whatever peach ring or sour gummy bear is in there. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. It’s an ongoing battle. I have realized that it’s OK to have candy every now and then but I am trying to cut back and have it only a few times a month.

Going cold turkey is rough and might not be the best thing for you. Gradually limit the amount of sugar you put into your tea and how much chocolate and candy you eat. Slowly but surely you should reach a point to where a little, or maybe none!, is enough.

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16/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Porn-Loving Husband Isn’t Aroused By Wife

“My husband and I have been married for 28 years. We’ve had some ups and downs, but we have three great (adult) kids, a nice house, decent jobs, no debt, and we generally get along well.

A couple of years ago I found out that my husband had been viewing Internet porn. A lot.

I was devastated. I’ve never had great self-esteem where my appearance is concerned, and my husband has never been one to pay compliments.

We went to counseling and he said all the right things. I told him I was crushed by what he was doing and that I needed to know that he finds me physically attractive. I said this often, in sessions and at home.

More than a year later I still don’t get compliments. I know he no longer views porn, and I know that he loves me and appreciates me, but I can’t understand why he can’t do this for me.

I know I am just an average middle-aged woman, but I am not overweight, I take good care of myself, I am involved in many activities. Though I know I’m nowhere near perfect, when I look in the mirror I am OK with what I see. Should I just get over it?

Should I accept that this is MY problem and that he is not ever going to say what I need to hear, and just drop it and appreciate the good things in my life? I rarely mention this to him anymore. — Dejected”

Dear Dejected:

Firstly, what kind of porn was your husband looking at? Because if it was GILF’s and/or overweight women then I think you’re in the clear … Sort of, but that’s a whole other ball of wax. Porn … porn is weird. It’s changed so much in the last 30-40 years. Where there were once films featuring natural men and women there are now videos populated with silicon and plastic … sigh. But that’s also a whole other ball of wax and not relating to you at all.

He’s not viewing porn anymore which is great, but he’s still not acknowledging you and you should know that it’s a two-way street. You need to reach out and tell him “Hey, you look nice/handsome/sexy today” and then, maybe then, it will draw him into realizing that you are still attracted to him and in turn he will give you compliments.

And if all else fails, is there anything you would be willing to do to spice up the physical attraction/sexual energy without reintroducing porn into the mix? Maybe some role playing will jump start the old “engines”???

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16/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Needs A Budget

“When my boyfriend and I started dating seven months ago, I loved that we went out on fun dates. However, I started wondering where his money was coming from. I now know that he still receives income from his mother, even though he’s 23 and out of school.

Although he’s working a part-time job, I know it’s not enough to cover his bills. When I confronted him about searching for more work, he said he’s waiting to find his “true passion.”

He spends money on meals out, expensive clothes, and acting and writing classes. I value a strong work ethic, and it’s difficult for me to see him using his parents’ money rather than trying to make enough on his own.

How do I discuss this with him? Is it wrong to impose my values on him? — Anxious”

Dear Anxious:

Some dudes will never learn. That’s a fact.

Me? I’m a dude who still lives at home but I don’t get money from my parents. I work various jobs to make money as I try to find a more permanent employment situation. But, I also don’t spend the money (which I don’t have) on things I don’t need like clothes and meals out, like your guy does. I have something called self-control. He seems to need a certain lifestyle and cannot deviate. He’ll find out the hard way that his lifestyle cannot be maintained by his current income.

You can discuss this with him, but you can’t impose your values on him. He won’t listen. Trust me. It’ll suck but, he needs to learn budgeting on his own.

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15/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – You Got Shafted

“In an attempt to beautify her neighborhood, a popular blogger asked her followers for money to repaint a community fence.

Anyone who donated $400 would be entitled to an hour’s “face time” with the blogger on Skype.

Being lonely and in need of someone to talk to, I took her up on the offer. I made the donation, and we set a day and time for our chat, but she stood me up and subsequently ignored me.

After several weeks, I sent her several strongly worded (yet civil) emails in which I expressed my mounting displeasure. Apparently unhappy with being taken to task, she announced that she had no intention of Skyping with me.

She never expressed any remorse or responsibility, never asked if there was anything she could do to make up for it — and never offered to refund the money.

My question is, would it be wrong to ask for my $400 back? It was a straight-up quid pro quo agreement. I upheld my end but she failed to uphold hers.

I want to do the right thing but I don’t like getting shafted either. I’d really appreciate your input. — Mr. Conflicted”

Dear Conflicted:

This is a classic ladyboy switcheroo. Where you went to pay for a “fun time” with a woman only to find that it’s actually a ladyboy. You know, man parts below, lady parts on top…In any case, you went in expecting one thing and in turn got something you didn’t want.

For $400 you could’ve, LITERALLY, paid an actual escort to spend time with you (and not have anything sexual happen). Instead, you’re $400 in the hole and the person you gave it to screwed you over and won’t make amends. Which totally sucks. She needs to give you your money back!

You said you’re so lonely so why don’t you do something about it and get out there and make some friends? Maybe that’s why this person didn’t want to Skype with you in the first place. Loners aren’t exactly the people other people want to be around. Work on your people skills. Meetup.com is a great place to start and meet people with similar interests.

 

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13/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Notice I No Longer Say Liberry Or Tomorrie

“When I was in school, libraries were places where people went to read and study in a quiet environment. Librarians quickly squelched noisemakers with a “shush” and stern gaze.

I have recently begun frequenting local city and university libraries, as I am researching various issues related to starting a company. However, the noise level at these libraries, without exception, makes it virtually impossible for me to concentrate.

I’m sitting at a local branch of a city library. Children are running around talking loudly, and their parents respond in kind.

Staff members speak at a normal volume, making no effort to set an example for patrons. Other patrons answer cellphones at a normal volume. Not 10 feet from me, two people are talking loudly while using a public computer.

I recently went to a multistory library at a local university. Two floors were designated “Quiet Zones.” The entire library should be a quiet zone!

Whenever I ask people to please be quiet, they react like I am crazy to expect quiet in a library.

Am I crazy? — Frazzled”

Dear Frazzled:

You’re crazy.

As recently as 10 years ago, when I entered college, libraries were changing. WiFi was growing exponentially, books were being replaced by digital copies, and the places that housed those books were replaced by computers. You can’t go to a library these days without there being a cafe or coffee shop built right into it. It’s evolving with the times, unlike you.

Your old school library is dead and if it’s not dead then it’s dying. They’ve become common areas where people can come and share ideas, talk and possibly learn something new. You can either accept it and go to those designated quiet areas or stay home where no one will bother you. But honestly, who hangs out at the public library?

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