Monthly Archives: July 2015

31/07/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Get Over It, Go Out With Somebody Else

*After taking some time off/being a bit lazy, I’m back in this*

“I’m a 27-year-old female. I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years in March because he was caught texting a girl (she’d already been brought up in conversation as an issue for me) in a very non-platonic way, if you know what I mean.

I admit to being very jealous so I tried to give him space to have whatever friends he wanted, but I also believe there should be very clear boundaries with these “friends.”

Anyhow, even after the breakup we are still acting like we’re together. He spends nearly every night at my house, we still “do the do,” he gets jealous over other guys I’m talking to but when I say let’s try again, he tells me no. I honestly think he has someone (or several someones) else but with no proof — and the way he still treats me like he wants this, I can’t really walk away without knowing for sure. Any advice? — Confused”

Dear Confused:

I don’t think you or your ex know what “break up” means or else this guy wouldn’t be over nearly every night.

And honestly, when you say “do the do” it reminds me of Mountain Dew and their “Do the Dew” slogan. I don’t think you want to be associated with that product that now goes by Mtn Dew because apparently spelling out M-o-u-n-t-a-i-n takes up too much space and time. But that’s neither here nor there.

It seems that both of you are Stacy from Wayne’s World:

Simple advice: cut the cord. You broke up, are you mental?

 

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09/07/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – It’s A Wedding Invitation, Not Brain Surgery

“A co-worker’s daughter is getting married and I have been invited to the wedding. We have had our differences at work and I am surprised to have been invited.

A few other co-workers (and myself) have never even met the bride or groom. I feel that it is hypocritical to attend this wedding simply because we work together. We are not friends, and I do not want to go.

I come from a large family and have heard brides complain when people they do not know are invited and attend their weddings. Other co-workers who have been invited question the invitation too. What is your take on this? Should I feel obligated to go?

— Miffed Co-worker”

Dear Miffed:

No one is telling you that you have to go to this wedding. It’s an invitation. You can politely decline and be on your way. You think too highly of yourself to suggest that going to this wedding is hypocritical just because you and your coworker have had your differences at times. Get over it yourself.

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07/07/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Girlfriend Has Marked Her Territory

“I have recently found myself in a sticky situation with my boyfriend. We met six months ago through a mutual (female) friend. This person is my roommate — and my boyfriend’s best friend.

From the beginning I was proactive about not putting her in the middle of our relationship because I didn’t want to harm any of our friendships.

I had suspicions that they were conversing about our relationship, even though he has told me that he doesn’t tell her things about us.

I went snooping into his phone to satisfy my suspicions and found a mountain of texts about me between the two of them.

Most of the texts were harmless, but a few were alarming because of what he said about needing space from me. He said I’ve become too territorial.

When talking with him he denies wanting alone time and diminishes any fear of my being clingy.

Since I’ve gotten myself stuck between two very different opinions, what do I do? Should I let it go and hope he’s honest with me, or confront his dishonesty?

— Sadly Stuck”

Dear Stuck:

The very fact that you were snooping implies that you are territorial. So you lose that battle. Sidebar: Doesn’t anyone lock their phone anymore?!? How does this keep happening to people? Someone can easily open their phone, read their messages and/or emails…what?!?

Relationships are personal and you want to keep it as such. Your boyfriend obviously needed someone to vent to and tell things that might’ve been bothering him at the time. Maybe they’re not bothering him anymore, or else words would have been exchanged. He clearly values this friends opinion and wanted to share his thoughts with someone he has known a long time AND lives with his girlfriend. Because she has insight into your mind as not only your friend but as a roommate too.

In the grand scheme of things, did he say anything that was defamatory? Since you’re focusing on him saying that he needs some space, I am going to to go ahead and assume that the answer is “No.” If that’s the case then you can take a step back and examine your relationship and see if you are being clingy and territorial (because it sounds like you are).

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