Tag Archives: wedding invitation

09/07/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – It’s A Wedding Invitation, Not Brain Surgery

“A co-worker’s daughter is getting married and I have been invited to the wedding. We have had our differences at work and I am surprised to have been invited.

A few other co-workers (and myself) have never even met the bride or groom. I feel that it is hypocritical to attend this wedding simply because we work together. We are not friends, and I do not want to go.

I come from a large family and have heard brides complain when people they do not know are invited and attend their weddings. Other co-workers who have been invited question the invitation too. What is your take on this? Should I feel obligated to go?

— Miffed Co-worker”

Dear Miffed:

No one is telling you that you have to go to this wedding. It’s an invitation. You can politely decline and be on your way. You think too highly of yourself to suggest that going to this wedding is hypocritical just because you and your coworker have had your differences at times. Get over it yourself.

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04/05/2015
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“Jaw With John” – RSVPeeved

“My daughter and her boyfriend got married this past weekend. The ceremony was beautiful and they worked very hard to make sure everything was just right. They also paid for the whole thing; though it was a low-key affair, there was still considerable expense.

What shocked me was the number of guests who RSVP’d that they would be attending, but then didn’t show up. This meant that a lot of money was spent on food, beverages and favors that went to waste.

I know sometimes people think, “Well, I’m just one person so it won’t make that much difference,” but if you multiply that by 10 or 20 people, it adds up! I find it incredibly rude and feel that they owe her and her husband an apology.

Outside of calling them out on Facebook or jokingly saying they’ll get a bill for their portion of the food, I know there’s nothing to be done. I just wonder if this is the “new way” and manners just don’t matter anymore. Your thoughts? — Furious”

Dear Furious:

I’m sure your daughter knows who did and did not show up so they could be hearing from her if she’s so inclined to do so. But it’s not your arena. You shouldn’t do anything, no matter how rude it is – and it’s very rude. There isn’t a “new way” for manners. Rude is rude.

Sometimes there are genuine last-minute reasons why someone can’t make an event. If that’s the case with some of these then an explanation and apology is simple. But those that just blew off the wedding entirely are the ones you need to look out for and see if they are the type of people wanted at other milestone-type events.

Or, the other way you can look at it is “Hey, look! More food and booze for me!”

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05/03/2015
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“Jaw With John” – Bro, Your Girlfriend Sucks. Time For A New One

“My nephew “Hugo” was invited to his friend’s wedding. The bride’s family has limited the number of guests, so Hugo cannot bring a companion. Hugo’s girlfriend of about a year and a half (“Martha”) told Hugo he is “disrespecting their relationship” because he plans to go to the wedding without her.

Martha also said Hugo is being treated like a “B-list guest” because he did not receive his invitation until a couple of weeks before the wedding, rather than six weeks in advance, and should protest by not going. (The friend did send out a “save the date” notice months ago.)

Martha barely knows the groom. I don’t see how Hugo’s going to the wedding amounts to disrespecting their relationship, nor do I think Hugo is being treated like a B-list guest. Am I wrong? Shouldn’t he feel free to go to the wedding if he wants to? — A Meddling Aunt”

Dear Aunt:

Martha sounds like a total Basic Bitch.

The invitation/guest limit clearly says that she can’t go, and she doesn’t know the groom that well anyway, but since she can’t go Hugo shouldn’t? She sounds like a drama queen and should be kicked to the curb immediately.

I fail to see how he’s “disrespecting their relationship” by going without her. He’s respecting the wedding party’s wishes. There are always lots of single and sometimes-desperate-because-they’re-seeing-their-friends-getting-married-girls at weddings. Get on with your bad self Hugo!

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02/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Aunt Is A Regular Sue Storm

“In yesterday’s mail we received a birth announcement of a new great-nephew, addressed only to my husband.

Christmas cards, wedding announcements, birth announcements, thank-you cards — anything coming from his sister and her children all are addressed only to him.

The most mention I ever get is “and Family.” One wedding invitation actually came to “Uncle John and Family.” Our children are grown so presumably I’m the nameless “Family.”

I buy the presents and sign the cards and checks. There’s no animosity between us. I’ve known the kids since birth and they are all nice people. But each omission makes me feel, well, a bit unwanted.

I’m tempted to have only my husband sign the card that I bought before the announcement arrived. I want him to tell his sister that this makes me feel sad and left out. He doesn’t see it as an issue and thinks I should ignore it, but he also says that since it bothers me, I should tell her myself.

What’s your take? — The Invisible Aunt”

Dear Invisible:

Listen to your husband here and talk directly to his sister. I know what it’s like to be slighted, albeit in a different manner.

It was Christmas, the family was opening presents and we had decided to open gifts from a certain friend all at the same time. All the gifts were neatly and elegantly wrapped and there was a note saying that the gifts were all from a recent trip to Africa … except for me. I got a calendar. I looked around and said, to myself, There was nothing in Africa that could be for me? Not one thing? I moved on and now it’s a pretty decent joke I can tell. Your situation is different but similar.

You know you need to bring this to the attention of your brother’s sister otherwise it will continue. Being passive aggressive with the notes and gifts won’t solve anything. Ask your sister-in-law “What’s up?” because unlike my calendar, your feelings won’t go away after January 1st.

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