Monthly Archives: March 2015

12/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Delivery Guy Needs To Be Returned To Sender

“There is a particular truck driver who delivers to our place of business. He has always been flirty to all the girls, especially with me, even though he has a girlfriend.

He said he would help me find a job as a driver, so he took me out with him on the truck so I could see if I would like it. He said he’d speak with his girlfriend to see if he could give me a refresher course. (I would pay him for this.)

Just before the course started, he told his girlfriend that I just broke up with my loser boyfriend. After that he said he would only help me professionally and that the only woman he is interested in is his girlfriend.

I know I read more into his flirting than I should have, but when someone is that friendly, you don’t know what to think.

Doesn’t he know I broke up with my boyfriend because of him? What should I do now — should I keep chasing him, in the hopes that he will leave her for me? — Undelivered”

Dear Undelivered:

You knew he had a girlfriend. You knew he was being flirty and not serious. You knew he flirted with other girls in your office. You knew, you knew, you knew. What did you expect would happen?

You broke up with your boyfriend for a delivery guy? A delivery guy? That’s not a slight toward delivery guys because I was (partially) a delivery guy. Part of the job is to be nice and friendly with everyone, although, not everyone succeeds. You do realize that he does that to every business he visits. What makes you so special?

He’s not going to leave his girlfriend but you need to leave his hip and find someone who is ACTUALLY AVAILABLE!

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11/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Littering And Littering And Littering And His New Girlfriend

“Last year my adult son and his girlfriend lived with us for several months. This girl and I became fast friends. When they broke up, it broke both our hearts. We have stayed friends but don’t really communicate much.

Since then, my son has met a wonderful girl and they have their own place. She is smart, sweet and kind, and I love her, but whenever I think of her and my son, I always think “son and ex-girlfriend’s name.” I have to focus before I speak to her, or about her, and I’m terribly afraid the other girl’s name is going to spill out of my mouth.

Do you have any suggestions how I can get this other girl’s name out of my head? — Tripping Over My Tongue”

Dear Tripping:

What do you mean “Do you have any suggestions”? How can you not see what to do?

Just practice saying the new girl’s name, along with your sons, over and over again. Duh. Take a cue from the Super Troopers clip below and say the pair together.

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10/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Can’t Toke Up Around You

“I am in a predicament. I have a good new friend who is having a birthday party he very much wants me to attend. The problem is that he has informed me that the party will be “alcohol and 420 friendly.”

I don’t have issues with the alcohol, and I live in Washington state, where recreational marijuana is legal, so that is not the issue either.

My problem is that I have PTSD caused by an abusive stepfather who was a marijuana addict.

The very smell of pot smoke sends me into flashbacks and gives me jitters.

Should I attend this party and do my best to hold it together? If not, how can I tell my friend why I am not coming, without him feeling I am judging him? — Nervous in Washington”

Dear Nervous:

I can’t stand the smell of pot smoke either. It used to not bother me, when I would smoke, but after I stopped I realized that I just didn’t like the smell at all. It would be nauseating at times. That’s why edibles are the way to go.

They come in more than just brownies nowadays. You can find them in lollipops, Rice Krispie treats, cookies, chocolate etc. etc. etc. If those don’t bring out the same symptoms as the smoke then bring up the fact that you can’t be around pot smoke and see if the party can change. If not, then you might need professional help.

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09/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Marcellus Wallace Has Some Words For You

“Recently my good friend’s daughter and her husband had a baby who needed medical attention. They have hosted several in-person fundraisers, as well as ongoing online fundraisers.

Both parents have jobs that provide good insurance. I recently found out this young family is using funds to pay their rent and buy new and expensive things — all unrelated to their child.

I find this heartbreaking to everyone concerned. Their child is scheduled to leave the hospital now, yet nothing has been updated online and the fundraising continues. After hearing this (verified) information I do not want to participate. What now? — Disheartened”

Dear Disheartened:

I would argue that paying rent is related to their child. But that’s just semantics.

As for “What now? Let me tell you what now. I’m gonna call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin’ –” wait, never mind, that Marcellus Wallace quote doesn’t really apply here so I’ll cut to the chase.

Don’t give them money. That’s what you do now.

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09/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – No Need To Stand & Deliver, Teach

“I am an inner-city high school teacher. The high poverty rate makes the job very challenging and stressful. We are all working long hours.

This year I am dealing with a colleague in her early 40s, single, who readily admits her life outside of work is dull. She has half the number of students I do.

For Christmas she gave all her students a small gift bag with treats. She has nicknames for all of them. She has driven them to practice when they missed the bus. She feeds them breakfast and gives them snacks for having a good day in class.

When speaking with a parent, it is always positive — even if the student is failing multiple classes or has disruptive behavior.

The students love her and call her “Mom.”

Students have asked why I don’t buy or give them things. These are 14-year-olds. Even though I recognize their developmental stage, it is difficult now to enjoy my work when I am always being compared to “Mom.”

How should I deal with this? — Stressed Teacher”

Dear Stressed:

At my Primary School each grade up until Middle School was split in two. There would be 20 or so kids per teacher. In 4th grade I was put into a classroom with a no nonsense teacher, Mrs. Wilson, who taught us well but at times lacked that sweetness. She was tough but fair. Next door was a teacher who was all sunshine and rainbows. She would play her piano and we could hear the class singing through the walls. Every time this would happen I would roll my eyes because I found it unnecessary (clearly, I had established my sarcastic, smart-ass attitude early on). I mean, how many times can you play Heart & Soul before it’s too much?

I always wondered what Mrs. Wilson thought of the teacher next door. If she wanted that adoration those students showed her. Or if she even liked the other teacher enough to care what she did. I like to think that we were on the same page and rolled our eyes simultaneously. She didn’t care for the other teacher’s teaching style/attitude because she knew how to get through to us and teach us what we needed to know without overstepping the boundaries.

You need to do the same.

Be the teacher you are and don’t concern yourself with what “Mom” is doing.

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