Monthly Archives: April 2015

22/04/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – This Isn’t Project X, That’s Too Many People

“I invited a friend and her family (husband and two children) to vacation with us at my parents’ home this summer.

My parents were willing to host all of us (four adults and four children) in their home.

While at a party at my friend’s home, one guest, a friend of hers, commented that our summer plans sounded like fun. In response, my friend invited her friend and two children to my parents’ home for this trip.

My friend turned to me, in front of her friend and others, and asked if it was OK that they join us.

I felt as if I were backed into a corner and had to be amenable to the invitation or risk upsetting and/or angering someone.

I told my parents about the recent development and they were quite upset that my friend invited others to their home without consulting them.

Including my parents, there will be 13 people staying at my parents’ home for five nights. My parents are older and I cannot expect them to feed all of these guests, invited or not, during their stay.

I am not sure how to handle this situation without upsetting or angering anyone.

I want to put stipulations upon the visit, for instance, guests provide their own food, beverages, linens, etc., for their stay, but how? — Taken Advantage Of”

Dear Taken:

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”

Sorry, I had to. I mean, you responded with “Taken” so I ran with it…

But seriously, this is all on you. You could’ve easily taken the reins and said “I’m sorry but the house is already full enough as it is.” But you didn’t and now you need to go over to this friend of hers and tell her that she is no longer invited. For future reference: grow a pair.

You can say “I talked it over with my parents and while they would enjoy your company it would be too many people under one roof for them to accommodate.” In this situation you cannot be concerned with angering people since it’s not just you who is affected by the situation. It just needs to be done.

The friend you originally invited is also a bad guest. She thought that since she was going that she could invite anyone she wanted. That’s just poor etiquette.

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22/04/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – After Four Months Your Lips Are Dry

“I met someone through eHarmony and have been seeing him for four months.

He is kind and attentive. He doesn’t smoke, drink or gamble. He has a steady, well-paying job. Neither of us has previous relationship experience, and he often thanks me for being so patient with him.

However, after four months he says he is still not ready to kiss me. Is it too much to expect some sort of physical expression after four months?

He is thoughtful in every other way, but I am very frustrated.

I now feel that the spark is gone. I don’t regret meeting him and would like him to remain a part of my life, but as a friend rather than a romantic partner.

Is there a way to ignite the chemistry? Will it come as he builds his comfort level?

Should I stay with him even if I’m left unsatisfied and jealous of other happy couples? — Hoping for More”

Dear Hoping:

The dude won’t kiss you? You must feel like Never Been Kissed except you’re not in high school or disguising yourself to look like a high school student for a newspaper and you’ve been kissed before…moving on!

There are two scenarios here that I believe to be the most plausible given your situation. #1 He’s gay OR #2 He’s just not that into you.

I’ve been where you are Hoping and you just need to express your feelings and tell him or else you’re doomed to wonder “what if?” or “what’s wrong with me?” and it will drive you insane. Four months of dating without a kiss is kinda bullshit and you know it.

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18/04/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Your Husband Is Tobias Funke Now

“My husband and I are in our 50s with grown children who are on their own. We are youthful and healthy and, up until recently, our marriage was monogamous. Some time ago, we talked at length about sexual experimentation in the form of “open” marriage.

In fact, my husband was the one who suggested the idea, and we struck a deal. We agreed that if I wanted to get involved with someone else, it would be OK with him and he would feel free to do the same.

Well, I did and he didn’t.

Even though it’s only a once-in-a-while thing for me (with one man), I’m finding it very enjoyable, almost addictive. My husband and I get along well and still share an active sexual life, but he’s feeling slighted because he hasn’t found anyone else, and now he’s pressuring me to end my relationship.

The other man wants to continue, and to be perfectly honest, so do I.

My husband admits that if he also had “something going” right now, he would be OK with my relationship. The only one feeling left out at the moment is the guy who started this whole thing. What should I do? — Part of a Triangle”

Dear Part:

I’ll just leave this Tobias Funke moment from Arrested Development here:

And then your husband’s reaction, presumably, to your new found sexual relationship here:

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18/04/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – GILF Status Unlocked

“I am 75 years old — active, attractive and feel like I’m 25.

I’m enrolled at a community college taking courses in ceramics. One of my fellow students has suddenly taken an interest in me. He is a nice guy and we share many interests. The problem is, I am not at all attracted to him. He has indicated he would like to become involved. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I do want him to know that we can never be more than friends. How do I do this diplomatically? — Alive and Kickin’”

Dear Kickin’:

Maybe if you tried Ghost-ing with this nice guy you’d change your mind. Unless your ceramics class has a “Zero Ghost Tolerance Policy”.

And if even after Ghost-ing (if allowed) with him you still don’t have feelings for him, then you just need to tell him that you think he’s a nice guy but you don’t like him “that way.” It’ll hurt him a bit, but it will let him down easy.

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15/04/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Girl, Get With Me

“I really like this girl. I think she’s perfect in every way. She has just come out of a two-year relationship, and she told my friend that she just wants to be single when he asked her out.

We get on really well, and whenever we talk there seems to be something there. People have noticed her flirting with me.

Should I ask her to get with me or not? — Dan”

Dear Dan:

I don’t believe that there has ever been a moment in dating history where asking a girl to “get with me” has ever worked.

Try something else.

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