Monthly Archives: August 2015

26/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Daughter Received Turn Down Service

“This summer my 21-year-old daughter has been working as a hotel maid. While working one morning she overheard a father say to his teenage son, “You had better stay in school or you will end up like her” — indicating my daughter. My daughter was hurt. She assumed the father did not intend for her to hear the remark and felt the hotel management would not want her to comment to the guest, and so she said nothing.

I appreciate the father’s desire to encourage his son to continue his education, but I am appalled by the lack of respect for a working person. Ironically, my daughter is beginning her junior year at college and working this summer to earn money for a semester abroad. In my opinion, he would be lucky to have his son “end up like her.” Should my daughter have said anything — and if so, what would have been the appropriate response? — Proud Mom”

Dear Mom:

Your daughter did the right thing in biting her tongue.

I’ve witnessed similar behavior where someone is dismissive toward a server, laborer, or a cashier and it really gets me upset. The person they’re talking about is rarely around but I hear what they say and think “They don’t know that person’s story. They’re at this job because they need to be most of the time not because they want to be.” Whenever it’s said within my circle I make it a point to call that person out on it because they’re not going to stand up for themselves and if they did they’d probably lose their job or they’re not around to defend themselves. They’re still a person.

Interjecting herself would’ve been bad news and she was smart enough to stay away. But she should take solace in the fact that she knows what she is doing and working toward. She doesn’t owe anyone anything, least of all this man.

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24/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Work Sucks, I Know

“I am one year out of college and I don’t think I can take my job much longer.

When I was 10 years old, if you had asked me where I wanted to work, I would have said Corporation X — it’s a dream company, and that’s where I work! But, ugh — after a year of working 14- to 18-hour days, five to six days a week, for $10.50 an hour, I am exhausted and still living paycheck to paycheck.

Here’s the kicker, though: I might work an 18-hour shift, but I will only be given three hours of work to do.

The rest of the time I just sit at my desk and wait.

When I do have something to do I love my job! Honestly, if my job paid better, gave me benefits, I worked normal hours and they constantly had work for me to do, it would be the perfect job.

What should I do? Should I stick it out for a few more years in hopes of getting slightly more reasonable hours? Or should I call it quits and cut my losses and try to get into a graduate program in search of a new career path? — Exhausted”

Dear Exhausted:

Sounds like you get paid to sit around on your ass and do nothing for 15 hours.

I’d like that job.

$10.50 an hour is rough, especially today. There isn’t any overtime pay that could help you a bit more? Or there is and it’s just not helping as much as it could if you were paid more.

See if there are any other opportunities within that company that could give you better hours, a higher wage, or more work (since you seem to love more work). Or see if there is something else that you could be doing within your own department. Maybe your supervisor is looking for someone proactive and waiting for an employee to ask what else they could be doing.

You were never going to get your ideal job straight out of college. I didn’t. I still don’t have that “dream job” or a real job for that matter, but that’s neither here nor there.

Stick it out and see where it can take you. If you cut your loses now you’re possibly delaying yourself even more. At least now you’re in a place you enjoy (when you work) and that can lead to something down the line.

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24/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Fell Into The Grindr

“Last weekend my boyfriend told me while we were showering that he was leaving me for a man he met on the male hookup app Grindr.

That man happens to be my neighbor. My boyfriend proceeded to move out that morning, and he keeps coming around, trying to be “friends.” I tried to be cordial at first, but then one night he tried kissing me and I pushed him away.

Now I just want to be left alone, but because he’s living with my neighbor, I see him almost every day in passing, and when I do, I feel hurt. I don’t want to have to hide in my home out of fear of seeing him. Do you have any suggestions on how I can cope with this new reality? It is one I’ve never experienced before. — Sad Ex-Boyfriend”

Dear Ex-Boyfriend:

Wow.

I’m literally staring at the blinking cursor wondering what to say to you.

You can’t be friends with him. You can’t. It’s much easier for the dumper to move on than the dumpee because they knew it was coming and planned it. You’re stuck with the aftermath of it all and need to find a way to move on.

Try changing your routine around so that he won’t know exactly when you’re around and vice versa. You also need friends in a time like this. Friends who will agree with you that he was an asshole, or however you feel. You’ll talk it out and hopefully find some way to move on.

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22/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – You’re A Little Late, I’m Already Torn

“There are two men in my life who have been playing ping-pong with me and my emotions for the past year or so.

I’ve known “David” for most of my life. For many years he said he was interested in me and talked about plans of marriage, children and taking care of me.

He never made a serious move until this past year, but he works odd hours and cancels plans on short notice to travel for work. Sometimes he disappears, leaving me in the dark as to what is going on.

For about a week we were officially “dating.” He labeled me his “girlfriend” on social media and soon after that he disappeared. He recently messaged me and said he wanted to get back together, but I’ve been dating “Jack.”

Jack and I have dated for a year but he shows a lack of interest in our relationship. He will tell me he is on his way home, and by morning he won’t be there and he won’t tell me why.

He’ll also go shopping and buy “special” items for himself and not think twice about our household.

When I brought up a plan for starting a healthier lifestyle, Jack treated it as a joke. I decided to break up with him. Then he started a fight with me and we both ended up saying things we didn’t mean.

My problem is I’m not sure which guy is good for me.

I’m not sure what to do now that my emotions are all over the place. I feel swamped with a big decision I don’t know how to make. — Torn”

Dear Torn:

There’s nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on
Nothing’s fine
I’m torn

Natalie Imbruglia, man. She gets you.

This answer is very very very very simple: None of them are good for you. Tell David and Jack to hit the bricks because you’re going to find yourself a new man!

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22/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Paris je t’aime, But I’m Going to Bitch About Seeing You For Free

“A few months ago a friend and I were in Paris. She had some family friends (whom she had not seen since she was young) who were available to host us for free.

Now, I have always been taught that when entertaining, a guest comes first. These people, however, made us feel as though we were an inconvenience to them and their two children, though we only slept on their pull-out couch — that was it.

The father in the family runs a touring company, and my friend thought we should ask for a tour, to be polite — with the intention of paying him.

He gave us a very short tour of one of Paris’ museums — one of my favorites — for free. But the tour was odd and he acted a bit rude, challenging my knowledge of the museum and the paintings and rushing us. I did not enjoy it.

Later on in our visit, we came home late (about midnight) after going up the Eiffel Tower. We did not have a key and he proceeded to go to sleep. Luckily, the au pair let us in. But after that behavior and his lack of an apology, I decided I can’t stand him.

Now he sends me emails about giving a review of the tour (which he insists must be a five-star review). I have refused. Should I keep ignoring his emails? Or should I write the bad review because the world has a right to know?

I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but what kind of host leaves someone locked out and then goes to sleep — and then demands a five-star review? — Frustrated with Friends of a Friend”

Dear Frustrated:

Let me get this straight: you’re complaining that you got to stay in Paris FOR FREE and got a personal tour of a museum FOR FREE?

Wow.

I don’t even know where to begin.

Firstly, it was on you to get a spare key or set up some type of system where you could get back into their place/meet up with them to get the key if they weren’t home. That’s just common sense. I did it when I stayed with a friend in Hong Kong and again in Chicago. Communication is key, especially in a foreign land. You’ve now learned this for another trip.

About the curt tour, as you described it. Perhaps something was lost in translation. What he might have perceived as gentle ribbing might have been rude to you, but he was doing his job (FOR FREE) and trying to engage you with the museum and the pieces. You know what else you could have done if you didn’t enjoy the trip? Gone again. That’s right. You could have gone back and taken the time you wanted to see things you didn’t before.

As far as the review goes, you don’t owe him 5 stars if you didn’t feel it was worth 5 stars. If reviews are anonymous then give whatever you feel best reflects your experience. But I ask you this: Did he give you the full tour as described by his company? Because if he did and it was a sub par experience then by all means give whatever rating you want (but if it were me I’d probably still give it 5 stars because it was FREE). If it wasn’t then think before you type and submit.

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