Monthly Archives: September 2015

27/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Be The Uncool Mom Here

“I am the mother to a 15-year-old daughter who is a freshman in high school. She attends a prestigious private school and she has great grades and generally makes very good choices.

I have never heard anything out of her about trying drugs or alcohol, but the other day she asked me if it was “cool with me” that she attended a kegger every once in a while.

I am torn because since she chose to go from public to private school, she is no longer with a majority of her friends, and she sees these keggers as a social event and nothing else. I want her to have fun in high school like I did, but I also don’t know if it is right to accept underage drinking. What should I do? — Distraught Mom”

Dear Distraught:

She’s 15.

15!

Last I checked the drinking age in this country is 21. Sure kids will get around that, I did (but not a lot until I got to college), but as a parent you should not condone it. Tell your daughter that she is allowed to see her old friends in other social settings. A kegger is no place for a 15-year-old. So it’s not “cool with you” for her to attend one. You need to be looking out for her well being and not her social status.

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23/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – How To Be Anti-Social on The Social Network

“I am a 60-something-year-old woman who, although I am very “up” on all technology, absolutely hates Facebook! I find it intrusive and a place where most of the posts I’ve read on other people’s pages are just downright bragging about kids, grandkids, money, etc., etc. Some of the posts are completely stupid.

I have a friend who decided it would be a great idea to become FB friends with my 30-year-old daughter.

Now she repeats everything that is on my daughter’s page and it drives me completely nuts. I have told her how much I hate Facebook but she just doesn’t get it. If I did go on Facebook, I would never go on her daughter’s page. I am not that nosy and I don’t need to read every little comment that is made or look at pictures of people I have no interest in. Any suggestions on how I should go about this without losing my friend over it? — Furious over Facebook”

Dear Furious:

Facebook, and similar sites, are social networks. They are an extension of yourself into the digital realm. The difference between real life and the digital world is that you can control what you put out there for people to see, what you report on, and what you post. For someone who is “‘up’ on all technology” you seem to lack this basic understanding. You can be friends with anyone you choose, or not choose. You can even be friends with someone but unfollow them so you wouldn’t see anything they posted but still be their friend. Hell, you could be friends with TONS of people but unfollow them all so you would see nothing but still be “connected” on Facebook.

By joining you could also do away with the entire conversation you have with this friend. You could say “Yes, I saw that because I’m on Facebook now” and that could hopefully end the conversation. You could even lie about seeing said post to stop that topic from ever coming up again. This is pretty anti-social, but it would get your friend off your back.

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22/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Mani, Pedi, Angry Auntie

“Recently I received a photo from my niece, who works in a high-powered job. Her daughter is almost three years old.

Although I love this child, I was very upset when I saw her getting a pedicure.

A few weeks later, my sister (the child’s grandmother) sent another photo of this child … this time getting a manicure. My sister thought it was cute!

I am far from amused. In fact I am disgusted. I am a generous auntie with no children but I will not pay for frivolity with my hard-earned money.

While I am able to be lavish, birthdays are coming for this child and her twin brother, but I have no intention of sending anything and will spend my money on those in need.

Is this behavior the norm? I would love your feedback. — Disgusted Auntie”

Dear Disgusted:

You make it sound like you’re the one paying for all of this. I don’t believe that you are so all you can do is scowl from a far. It also sounds like your niece is well enough off that she can afford to do these things with and for her children and that’s her decision. You’re not paying for it, even though you seem to think you are because you send “lavish” gifts and money.

Threatening to hold back and not buy these young children (toddlers really) gifts comes off as petty and it’s something that they have no control over. You’d be punishing them for something their mother did and is that the kind of auntie you want to be?

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21/09/2015
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“Jaw With John” – So You’re Saying Your Daughter Dresses A Bit Too Sexy?

“I have a grown daughter who is over 40. She has teenage children. My daughter makes wardrobe choices more common for a sexy young 20 year old than for a grown woman.

She is beautiful in her own right, but I think she may be conveying the wrong image to everyone and actually embarrassing her children.

I would like to give her a “makeover.”

I am offering to pay for a hairstyling appointment and some new clothes and shoes. How can I approach this and not hurt her feelings, or is that impossible?

It’s not just her Dad and I that feel this way about her appearance. Other members of the family have also mentioned this to me. — Mom Needs Advice”

Dear Mom:

I know the type of mom your daughter is and as a high school kid I watched with open jaw as they walked on by. I also went to an all boys high school so women weren’t see too much on campus unless they were teachers and when one came on campus it was an event. I bet that’s not what you wanted to hear, is it?

There is no way of sugar coating what you are trying to achieve. By telling her you want to make her over you are saying you don’t approve of her appearance and she would, most likely, be insulted. There is also no guarantee that if you were to let her do it on her own that she would change for the better. She could come out even sluttier.

Have you tried discussing her wardrobe choices with her? Instead of trying to be sneaky about it be open, frank, honest and other synonyms with her. She might respond to that better.

The only other viable option I see is going on What Not To Wear and being made over by a professional…but in typing that I found out that that show has ended it’s run so we’re back to square one!

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21/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Might Not Be The Happiest Place On Earth For A Birthday

“So, my sister’s 18th birthday is in a couple of weeks, and my parents are going to surprise her with a trip to Disney!

We live about six hours away, so it’s not a travel hassle, and we all think it’s a great idea, but … my sister is not good with surprises, and she can be, ungracious.

She doesn’t want our parents to spend a lot of money on her, so she just wants to see a movie on her birthday, but we all know that would be seriously depressing.

My parents say if she isn’t gracious about it, they’ll cancel the trip, and everyone will then be mad at her.

Should I warn my sister in advance, tell her what’s going to happen? Or, say nothing, and watch it blow up? — Birthday Brooder”

Dear Brooder:

Disney what? Land? World? Paris? Tokyo? Hong Kong? You’ve got to be more specific here.

You clearly need to talk with your parents and have them ask your sister if she would like to do this. This would eliminate the surprise element of it all and also leave it open for another possible trip if she doesn’t want to go there for her birthday.

I for one would LOVE a surprise Disneyland trip for my birthday – just throwing that out there for anyone listening.

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