“I’m an average guy, fitness-wise. My girlfriend, always naturally sporty, has been at the gym for a year. Our fitness paths collided when I was enjoying a coffee with her and her training partner at home.
On prompting by her trainer, my girlfriend flexed and her bicep popped up so high my eyes bulged. Her partner then prodded me to flex. I didn’t want to, as I knew my muscle wasn’t as developed. The partner felt both our flexed arms and declared mine softer. She then pushed us to arm wrestle.
I am 3 inches taller than she and I am a man, so I thought I should win. Anyway, after two times on the right and once on the left, I ended up with the back of my hand securely pinned down to the table — to their extreme delight. I feel extremely embarrassed.
This has changed the dynamics in our relationship. She will now teasingly flex when she wants something. And she enjoys challenging me in public. I have now been defeated in arm wrestling in front of her parents and a group of her girlfriends. It’s hard to adjust.
— Outmuscled”
Dear Outmuscled,
There’s a part of me that wants to tell you “Get over it and laugh it off” because physical strength isn’t everything. But you seem to believe that you have been stripped of your masculinity because of this situation. That sucks.
I’m comparing apples to oranges here, but if a girl beat me I’d shrug it off and go “Damn! She’s strong!” and yeah, I do know some very strong women – one of them plays semi-professional football so she’s tough. But … that’s me. Back to you.
Your girlfriend is proud of her strength and she likes to flex her muscles, pun intended. But it comes at a cost, and that cost is you. Tell her that you find it embarrassing, demeaning and that you would not be subjecting her to the same treatment if the roles were reversed (at least, I hope you wouldn’t) and go from there. Or you could hit the gym yourself and give her a taste of her own medicine…better to go with the first option.
John Kidde Writes 