Category Archives: Advice

“Jaw With John” – Filter Your Friend’s “Alternative Facts”

An older friend and I have exchanged emails since last spring. Hers have been mostly political and disparaging toward minorities. I asked her to please not send this stuff since we have opposite opinions on the subject, and I don’t plan to change my mind. I enjoy our in-person talks because they are nothing like the emails she sends, which are “forwards” somebody else has put together.

I quit reading them, but is there a way to politely stop her from disseminating nasty propaganda? I have tried fact-checking and sending corrections to her and to those on the long list of people she has sent these emails. It doesn’t work. — Fact Checker

Dear Fact Checker,

There’s this wonderful new invention called the SPAM folder! You can filter alllllllllll her messages to that folder and then you can delete them all at once and be done with it!

Listen, there are some people who don’t want “facts” they want “alternative facts” that cover up the real truth and prop up a certain ideal situation that they think they’re living in…when it is in fact denial of the actual truth. Filter her messages and be done with them.

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“Jaw With John” – I Don’t Care Who You Have A Crush On, Seriously

Why is it that when adults are trying to get to know my children, the first thing they want to know is who they have a crush on? Not only is that an extremely personal question, it’s also the least significant part of their lives and not something I want them to dwell on.

Ask instead what their favorite subject is, if they read a book recently they enjoyed, what kinds of activities they participate in or clubs they belong to. Please stop telling them that “surely some cute little kid” must have caught their eye. — Wise One In Virginia

Dear Wise One,

This question used to annoy me as a child. Really? You care who a 7-year-old might have a crush on? Live your own life and leave me alone!

Even as a teenager I would get the “Oh, do you have a girlfriend???” and when I would reply with a “No” they would lament the fact that “someone so handsome” was not taken…ugh! Gag me with a spoon.

I would long for the questions about what I was up to outside of school or, HELL, I’d answer questions about what I was up to IN school before I would willingly answer questions about who I had a crush on!

In today’s world I often jokingly break the ice with a group of people with a “Soooooo, who does everyone like???” but only in jest. I’m too old for that shit. So should these parents.

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“Jaw With John” – Mom’s Losing Sleep Over Carpool When There’s No Need

I have been carpooling with another mom for about a year. I pick her kids up from the bus stop and take them home. We help each other out, but I do most of the carpooling because of “Kathy’s” work schedule.

Because my daughter “Chris” turned 16, she will be driving to school once the weather improves. I told Kathy we have to discuss the carpool situation. By law, Chris will be allowed to have only one non-family member in the car. She cannot take Kathy’s daughter to and from school because Chris will be taking her best friend.

I feel terrible about it. I am a rule follower and don’t want to put my daughter in an illegal situation. I believe I have given Kathy plenty of time to figure another way home for her daughter. I’m not sure why I feel so bad and am losing sleep over this. Am I wrong? — Carpooling In Ohio

Dear Carpooling,

The universe tends to unfold as it should.” – Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

You’ve given notice to Kathy and she will adjust. This is not the end of the world. I am sure that in the future, Chris will be able to pick up Kathy’s daughter on random days when her best friend isn’t a passenger. Get some sleep, you look tired.

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“Jaw With John” – Joke Shocks Baker, And Not In A Good Way

I am a member of a 50-piece wind ensemble. We have a break for cookies and coffee on practice nights, once a week. I have made homemade cookies for our break for more than 25 years.

In May, we have an outdoor concert. I have brought cookies each year for after our performance. This year one of the newer band members asked me if I had “rat poison” in them!

I was shocked and asked him to repeat what he said to make sure I heard correctly! His response, “It was just a joke.” I don’t understand this type of humor. I have continued to make cookies for the band, but I think about his comment each week.

Shall I continue to make cookies for our breaks in 2017? — Shocked on the West Coast

Dear Shocked,

Yes, you shall continue to make cookies for your breaks in 2017.

This person was just trying to inject a little levity into the situation. If you knew him better I’m sure this joke might’ve hit the mark better. Instead, he chose to be a bit morbid with his humor and it caught you off guard. He is a newer member so he might be trying to interact with as many people as he can and make new friends.

He obviously doesn’t think you’re poisoning him and your reaction is a bit of an overreaction. “I don’t understand this type of humor” comes off as stuffy. People have different sense of humor. Some like dark humor, others like slapstick.

It was a small joke. Make some more cookies and move on.

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“Jaw With John” – Fill Your Eyes With That Double Vision

I work in customer service and was helping a guest. During my eight- to 10-minute chat with her, she showed me her phone. The wallpaper on her phone was a picture of the guest and her boyfriend in Times Square. Without mentioning it to the guest, I recognized her boyfriend as the husband of a friend of mine I’ll call Julie.

Julie and her husband have two young children. Part of me wants to confront him, but part of me says this would destroy a family. I have resolved to remain quiet unless I hear of marital difficulties, but would that be a disservice to my friend and her children? I feel like I’m carrying a grenade that may devastate many innocents. — Wants To Confront Him

Dear Wants To Confront,

You’ve never heard of a doppelgänger?

I’ve been shown photos from friends of people who look like me! It’s pretty wild.

The only way I would recommend doing ANYTHING is if you were 100% certain it was him. As in, you would bet your life on it being him in that photo. Otherwise, chalk it up to a lookalike.

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