Tag Archives: Advice

02/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Out Of Town Family Treats Host Family Like a B&B

“We have family members who like to stay with us every time they are in town. They live about five hours away. Typically when they come to stay, most of our other family members (who live only an hour away) will come to stay too.

We love that our young kids get to see their cousins, but it is a lot of work! This last time, we were informed just days beforehand that 10 people would be spending the weekend with us. We decided to send out an email telling everyone to help with a meal since it gets expensive for us (we’re a young family!) and it is hard to cook eight meals for 18 people!

The relatives who live five hours away have told us twice now that they won’t be bringing anything or could maybe bring water or chips. They have a family of five so it would be nice for them to contribute (since we are doing everything else). Am I wrong in still expecting them to bring a meal to share? I don’t think packing a cooler is that hard! — Exasperated”

Dear Exasperated:

You made a reasonable request and were met with people who are unwilling to lend a hand. Chips? Water? Really? This is stupid. Are they the family from Little Miss Sunshine and don’t have time to pick up stuff along the way because they have to get their daughter to a beauty pageant? Didn’t think so.

If they are so disinclined to contribute then maybe you should suggest they stay elsewhere. If not now, then for future trips. You’re not a B&B.

They do realize that they can buy groceries and such THERE, right? They don’t have to haul them 5 hours to your home. There is a Safeway, Trader Joe’s or a Kroger in damn near every city. It’s not hard to pick up some stuff. You’re already doing enough by housing them and feeding every. single. one of them. The least they could do is prepare, serve and clean up one damn meal.

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01/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – She’s Unreasonable AND Hates Harry Potter…Yikes

“My husband’s sister-in-law’s posts on Facebook are extremely offensive, insulting and aggressive, often personally directed at those who do not agree with her. She is bigoted, mean and always angry.

After multiple gentle attempts to explain how her words made her sound, I eventually “unfriended” and blocked her. I am not alone in our family in doing so. She now pointedly snubs me and these others at family gatherings. As she was always unpredictable and occasionally offensive in person as well, I feel no loss, but my husband is uncomfortable and wants me to “make up” with her.

This is a woman who has called me a “witch” for allowing my kids contact with Harry Potter books/movies, says my gay friends are inhabited by “familial demons,” accuses my daughter’s Muslim employer of being a terrorist, proudly calls herself an anarchist, says she is ready to shoot anyone who is not “on her side of the fence” with her gun (she really has one) and so on.

If anyone actually tries to engage with her, she will spam them with emails and text messages. I believe she may be mentally ill. My husband says, regardless, “family is family.”

When we have visited his brother and her in the past, he would go off with his brother and have a nice time, leaving me alone with this nut job to walk on proverbial eggshells. Since the Facebook incident, and her ensuing snub, I am relieved to be unburdened of the connection. I have told my husband he is welcome to visit his long-suffering brother solo. Am I being unreasonable? — Free at Last”

Dear Free:

Muggles. Am I right????

You’re perfectly within your right here. Now it’s time for you to step back, and away, from her. If she is that important to your husband then he can go and spend time with her. You’ve done your part and frankly, the people who think that exposing a child to Harry Potter is a bad thing deserve zero in return. That’s asinine.

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31/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Close Friends’ Ex Ain’t Gon’ Give It To Her, Happiness That Is

“My close friend has recently moved to another state to start a new life and “experience better prospects” romantically.

After one week, she’s informed me that she is romantically communicating with her ex again via text. He is married with three children and happens to live in this new city where she has moved. While she knows that I don’t approve of the relationship because it will never lead to a happy and fulfilling life for her, I understand that she has moved to a new city with no other girlfriends to talk to and bounce things off of.

Do I just patiently listen to her romantic tales while I know this is just one more round on the emotional carousel, or should I be honest and tell her these conversations make me feel bad and they’re exhausting? It kills me to see her doing this again. She could do so much better. — Disenchanted Optimist”

Dear Disenchanted:

“Happens to live in this new city where she moved”? Yeah, and my girlfriend is Jennifer Lawrence.

You need to tell her that her ex is just that, her ex. No more pussyfooting around. She needs to hear that and then move on and actually pursue better, and actually available, romantic prospects.

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30/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – So, You Failed To Create A Love Triangle

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and I love him, but things have seemed boring for a while now. A guy from work started flirting with me. We exchanged numbers. I told him I had a boyfriend, but we still talked.

One night he called me, upset about his past relationship. He had been drinking, so I was worried and went to his place to cheer him up. We ended up making out (that was not my intention), but I started to feel wanted again.

Fast-forward two weeks and he doesn’t talk to me anymore. We used to text multiple times a day and he would call me every day.

I’m just confused as to what this guy wants from me. I also want to know if it’s worth it to mess up what I have with my boyfriend by breaking it off with him to try things with this new guy, who doesn’t want a relationship. To be honest, I only wanted something physical with this guy anyway. I’m just not sure what to do. — Confused”

Dear Confused:

He’s not into you.

I recently met a girl who was awesome in every way. We clicked on our senses of humor, likes & dislikes etc. Then the conversations and messages were spaced further and further apart until they stopped altogether. I got the hint that she wasn’t interested anymore and I deleted her number. You’re also clearly not that invested in your boyfriend since you go around making out with co-workers so it’s probably time to cut him loose as well.

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28/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – There’s A Card Shark Circling Your Game

“I am a member of a group of people who get together to play cards. I have observed a person who plays cards with us (but is not a member of the group) cheating.

The subject of cheating came up once, and I tried discreetly (obviously too discreetly) to let this person know I observed the cheating. It had no impact. It appears this person is a friend of a member of the group.

I realize there is nothing I can do about the situation except learn to deal with it so that it no longer upsets me. Any advice? — Card Sharp”

Dear Sharp:

You “realize there is nothing [you] can do about the situation”? That is 100% untrue.

If someone is cheating, regardless of who they are friends with, then you need to call attention to it. Either do it discreetly with the cheater and let them know that you know and tell them to stop or do it when you catch them in the act at the card game.

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