Tag Archives: Advice

22/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – You’re A Little Late, I’m Already Torn

“There are two men in my life who have been playing ping-pong with me and my emotions for the past year or so.

I’ve known “David” for most of my life. For many years he said he was interested in me and talked about plans of marriage, children and taking care of me.

He never made a serious move until this past year, but he works odd hours and cancels plans on short notice to travel for work. Sometimes he disappears, leaving me in the dark as to what is going on.

For about a week we were officially “dating.” He labeled me his “girlfriend” on social media and soon after that he disappeared. He recently messaged me and said he wanted to get back together, but I’ve been dating “Jack.”

Jack and I have dated for a year but he shows a lack of interest in our relationship. He will tell me he is on his way home, and by morning he won’t be there and he won’t tell me why.

He’ll also go shopping and buy “special” items for himself and not think twice about our household.

When I brought up a plan for starting a healthier lifestyle, Jack treated it as a joke. I decided to break up with him. Then he started a fight with me and we both ended up saying things we didn’t mean.

My problem is I’m not sure which guy is good for me.

I’m not sure what to do now that my emotions are all over the place. I feel swamped with a big decision I don’t know how to make. — Torn”

Dear Torn:

There’s nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on
Nothing’s fine
I’m torn

Natalie Imbruglia, man. She gets you.

This answer is very very very very simple: None of them are good for you. Tell David and Jack to hit the bricks because you’re going to find yourself a new man!

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22/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Paris je t’aime, But I’m Going to Bitch About Seeing You For Free

“A few months ago a friend and I were in Paris. She had some family friends (whom she had not seen since she was young) who were available to host us for free.

Now, I have always been taught that when entertaining, a guest comes first. These people, however, made us feel as though we were an inconvenience to them and their two children, though we only slept on their pull-out couch — that was it.

The father in the family runs a touring company, and my friend thought we should ask for a tour, to be polite — with the intention of paying him.

He gave us a very short tour of one of Paris’ museums — one of my favorites — for free. But the tour was odd and he acted a bit rude, challenging my knowledge of the museum and the paintings and rushing us. I did not enjoy it.

Later on in our visit, we came home late (about midnight) after going up the Eiffel Tower. We did not have a key and he proceeded to go to sleep. Luckily, the au pair let us in. But after that behavior and his lack of an apology, I decided I can’t stand him.

Now he sends me emails about giving a review of the tour (which he insists must be a five-star review). I have refused. Should I keep ignoring his emails? Or should I write the bad review because the world has a right to know?

I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but what kind of host leaves someone locked out and then goes to sleep — and then demands a five-star review? — Frustrated with Friends of a Friend”

Dear Frustrated:

Let me get this straight: you’re complaining that you got to stay in Paris FOR FREE and got a personal tour of a museum FOR FREE?

Wow.

I don’t even know where to begin.

Firstly, it was on you to get a spare key or set up some type of system where you could get back into their place/meet up with them to get the key if they weren’t home. That’s just common sense. I did it when I stayed with a friend in Hong Kong and again in Chicago. Communication is key, especially in a foreign land. You’ve now learned this for another trip.

About the curt tour, as you described it. Perhaps something was lost in translation. What he might have perceived as gentle ribbing might have been rude to you, but he was doing his job (FOR FREE) and trying to engage you with the museum and the pieces. You know what else you could have done if you didn’t enjoy the trip? Gone again. That’s right. You could have gone back and taken the time you wanted to see things you didn’t before.

As far as the review goes, you don’t owe him 5 stars if you didn’t feel it was worth 5 stars. If reviews are anonymous then give whatever you feel best reflects your experience. But I ask you this: Did he give you the full tour as described by his company? Because if he did and it was a sub par experience then by all means give whatever rating you want (but if it were me I’d probably still give it 5 stars because it was FREE). If it wasn’t then think before you type and submit.

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22/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Clothing Not Always Optional

“I’m a godmother to a wonderful 7-year-old girl. Her mother is my best friend of 20 years. She is an excellent mom. I do not have any children.

Recently the three of us and a group of girlfriends celebrated a “ladies weekend getaway.”

When we got to our destination, I overheard my goddaughter ask her mom if she was going to “get drunk.” My heart broke a little.

Later I was getting ready to join everybody in the pool, when the child came running to me, hysterically crying that her “mama was taking her clothes off.”

I peeked out the window and sure enough her mom was topless. Honestly, it’s not that big a deal among the adults, and not so much out of character for my best friend, but her daughter was freaked out. I told her that Mom was being silly and that she should talk to her about her worries. She said she couldn’t because she would get in trouble. She didn’t want to return to the pool and so I stayed inside with her.

Her mother came in about 20 minutes later. She told her daughter she was disappointed in her and that nude bodies were nothing to be ashamed of. (What was upsetting to the girl was seeing her mom drunk, removing her swimsuit and behaving foolishly.)

I chimed in (bad idea?), saying I couldn’t stand seeing this young girl be silenced about something that was bothering her.

My best friend said, “I’m trying to teach her that nudity is not shameful. She’s very dramatic and freaks out about everything.” I replied, “You should have an internal barometer about what’s minor and major in regards to her ‘freak-outs.’ “

She basically told me when I have kids of my own and am a perfect mother I should talk to her then.

I understand this logic, but I felt like I had a responsibility to my goddaughter.

Did I overreact? Did I do the right thing? What do you think? — Godmother”

Dear Godmother:

If this is how she behaves around her own daughter – drunk and partially nude – then I don’t think she’s an “excellent mom”. She can set a better example regarding nudity without being drunk THEN maybe her message will get across. Right now there is a huge negative connotation with it.

You were right to chime in and speak up for the child because she felt afraid to do so.

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19/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Single But Not Alone

“I am a single senior male, divorced for over 40 years. NO I’m not gay. NO I don’t hate women. NO I’m not abusive to anyone or frightening to children and puppies.

I am happy and healthy being single. I have many friends, and I am not lonely. When I meet people and the subject of being single for a long time comes up, the usual response is, “I’m so sorry. Don’t give up, you will meet someone.”

My life has been, and is, very fulfilling. I’d like to respond by saying, “I’m so sorry for you. Maybe someday you will be a whole person with a whole life — rather than half of something.”

That would be rude, but do you have any answers for a response? — Happy Singleton”

Dear Singleton:

Have you ever tried saying “I’m happy being single”? There’s no reason to be rude here. But I’ll admit, it can be a bit demeaning to hear people say “You’ll meet someone”, over and over again.

If that happens, be like Jay-Z and brush that dirt off your shoulder and respond that you are comfortable being single.

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19/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Marilynsanity

“My uncle’s wife, “Marilyn,” is very difficult. She invites herself to other peoples’ Facebook accounts, tells humiliating stories about others and keeps tabs on other people’s private information.

She has been passive-aggressively taunting me for being single after my very difficult breakup with a girlfriend. I have not been in a stable relationship since my breakup, but both of my younger brothers have significant others, and Marilyn throws this in my face. She has also done this to those who have lost spouses and are still grieving, upsetting them deeply.

Marilyn even invited my ex-girlfriend to a private family gathering where she didn’t belong. My ex attended and was provocatively dressed (I feel just to embarrass me), and was revealing her reputation for shameless promiscuity.

My uncle can’t control Marilyn’s behavior. This type of harassment even got her slapped with a no-contact order by a family member, which she was clearly asking for.

How do I make it clear that I do not appreciate this type of humiliation and disrespect without resorting to such legal restraint? — Alienated Nephew”

Dear Nephew:

Your Aunt sounds like a bitch. A bitch who wants nothing more than to stir up controversy and see how others react with no regards to their feelings. AKA a psychopath.

When I think of your aunt I’m reminded of what Alfred said when he was describing The Joker in The Dark Knight: “Because some [wo]men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [wo]men just want to watch the world burn.”

When it comes to Facebook you can block, unfollow, or simply unfriend your aunt so she can’t see what you’re up to anymore and limit who can see your information, posts, etc. It is also possible to delete her posts. If you want to be passive aggressive right back to her you could do that. You seem averse to talking to her directly. So, beyond telling your aunt freeze bitch, there’s not much else you can do here.

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