Tag Archives: Advice

“Jaw With John” – Not Enough Cooks In The Kitchen

My husband, children and I moved in with my in-laws. It has been a learning experience. The hardest part is that my mother-in-law cooks with old, sometimes moldy produce and expired canned goods.

I have gotten sick a few times and it’s just not OK with me. I’m not “allowed” to say anything because it could “hurt her feelings.”

My mother-in-law is always treated with kid gloves, and no one allows anything negative to be said to her, so I would be “completely out of line” if I said anything.

We alternate cooking dinner, so at least I get clean food half the time. What do you suggest I do or say so that I’m not forced into eating rancid food while not looking like a monster? — Scared To Eat

Dear Scared:

Look at it this way: this could be the best diet ever!

Perhaps if you were to spew while you’re eating and then bring up the fact that it was because of the rancid produce it could change her perception on her cooking. That’s a visceral image and if it were to happen multiple times – not all by you or else you’d damage your esophagus – then I’m preeeeeetty sure she’d get the message.

Or, you could just throw out the expired foods before she got to them and when she comes around asking about them you’d tell her you threw them out because they had expired. From there you could go to the market and find some stuff you both like/will eat. Or she’ll blow up at you and kick you out or whatever…

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“Jaw With John” – Boss Forgot To Log Out

I recently discovered, by accident, something very personal and private about my boss. While I understand this discovery reveals a personal lifestyle choice for him, I am grossed out and disgusted by his choices.

I am also very angry with my boss for putting me in a position of stumbling across this information. It was available on a company computer that he was fully aware I had access to.

The other side to this is that I have always respected and admired him and I realize that he is, in fact, not a different person — just my perception of him has changed.

I guess I am looking for advice on how to handle my thoughts and actions toward him, now that I know what I know. — Wish I Didn’t Know

Dear Wish:

It’s clearly not illegal, or else you’d have gone to the police. But it’s, like you said, “a personal lifestyle choice” and it should be dealt with as such. You can, discretely, let him know that he left his computer logged in to his account and you saw whatever it was that you saw. It could get awkward or it could be a bonding moment as he could have an explanation for it (highly doubtful). Either way, the only thing is certain is that now that you’ve seen it, you can’t un-see it.

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“Jaw With John” – How Could You Be So Heartless!?

I am 29 years old and have been dating a man in his early 30s for more than six months. We met, felt an instant connection and began dating fairly seriously shortly afterward.

He is wonderful, kind, loving and giving. We have a lot in common and we rarely disagree or fight. I enjoy being with him a lot but I am beginning to feel we would be better off as friends, although I am sure he would want to stay together.

The issue is in the bedroom. We’ve stopped having sex. He seems to brush it off as something that just happens to people. We have had sex only a few times since we started dating. Though he speaks of it like it was amazing, I feel differently. I have asked him to see a doctor, but at this point the relationship is so new that I am not even sure if I want to continue.

I feel like there is no passion and we’re just friends. I wonder at what point am I allowed to throw in the towel without seeming heartless. — Heartless

Dear Heartless:

“How could you be so heartless?”

Girl I’m feelin’ what you feelin’
No more hopin’ and wishin’
I’m bout to stick my key in
Stick it in the ignition

So gimme that toot toot
Lemme give you that beep beep
Runnin’ her hands through my ‘fro
Bouncin’ on 24’s
While they sayin’ on the radio

Ok, enough R. Kelly and Kanye. But if you’re not feelin’ what he feelin’, then you shouldn’t take your key and stick it in his ignition. ‘Nuff said.

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“Jaw With John” – Adventures In Teen Babysitting

My twin 13-year-old daughters earn a few extra dollars baby-sitting neighborhood children.

After my daughters completed the daylong Red Cross baby-sitting class last summer, I sent an email to a few moms who live close by, advertising my daughters’ services. I set their hourly rates at $8 an hour for one baby-sitter, or $12 an hour for both girls to baby-sit.

My husband and I both feel these are appropriate wages for their age(s) and services. The girls only baby-sit a few times per month because homework, sports and social activities are greater priorities.

After baby-sitting fewer than 15 times (for no more than two children at a time, ages 4 and older) they are complaining because their peers are making $12 an hour (which is true).

Since the age of 6 my daughters have received an age-appropriate weekly allowance for doing a short list of chores. The amount grows each year with age and responsibility. I urge them to save a few dollars each week.

Every so often, we make a trip to the bank, and they deposit their savings. I don’t badger them to do their chores, and some weeks they earn little or nothing.

I’m not sure what to do about the discrepancy between what my daughters and their friends are earning for baby-sitting. In our affluent area, I know that $12 is the going rate, but I wish it weren’t.

Should my daughters negotiate with their clients for higher wages? Should I set some parameters if they earn more money? What is the right thing to do in this situation? — Perplexed in Suburbia

Dear Perplexed:

When I was their age I was only making $5 a week by taking out, and bringing back in, the trash once a week. $8 an hour sounds pretty damn good to me.

If these kids want more money then they can negotiate their desired new price with their clients. You could present the argument that by charging less they could earn more than their counterparts. But that only goes so far as they could wind up working more hours, but still earning less than their friends.

You have already started them on the right path by having them deposit their money at the bank. If they do end up earning more, advise them to only withdraw what they need and keep some money stored away for a “rainy day” or emergencies (I don’t know what kind of emergencies 13-year-old girls would have but it’d be there in case).

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“Jaw With John” – Ditch This Bitch

I have been married for one year. My spouse and I were out of work for about six months. I used my savings and unemployment to pay bills. My spouse hasn’t contributed or tried to get employment.

I started a job immediately when my unemployment ran out. I found out my spouse pawned the wedding ring (a treasured heirloom) to buy a cellphone and make vehicle repairs. I used the last of my savings — set aside for mortgage payment — to get it out of hock.

My wife spends more time with her phone than with me. I said I thought we should get a divorce (due to the betrayal, lying about pawning the ring, and various other untruths) and there was no argument. She said, “If that’s what you want, there is nothing to talk about.”

I know I will be making the right choice to divorce. I am very unhappy in the relationship. I think I am just being used to keep a roof over her head. Please help. — Me or the Phone

Dear Me:

I hope you didn’t “seal the deal”, that way you can get an annulment. But it sounds to me like you did. That’s too bad or else this would be better for you.

You seem to have your mind made up, as does she, so I think there is nothing more for me to do here except to wish you “bonne chance” in your future endeavors!

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