Tag Archives: Advice

20/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Spoiled Child Deserves Nothing

“My friend’s 7-year-old child is a spoiled brat.

This child is rude and bossy and has to be the center of attention. Her parents give her no boundaries and say she’s being cute and expressive.

My wife also thinks this child is adorable. This is causing a rift between us.

I’m 65 years old and I refuse to be told what to do and how to do it. Help. What can I do? — Frustrated in Phoenix”

Dear Frustrated:

You can’t do anything and you can’t change other people’s opinions on the matter.

This child isn’t even related to you and it’s causing a rift? I don’t get it. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill and thinking too much about someone who clearly doesn’t deserve your attention.

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18/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – It’s Just Dinner, Stop Being Weird

“My husband and I notice a trend among some of our friends that we think is strange, but maybe we’re the crazy ones.

We have been invited to parties at people’s homes, and invitations will say, “Bring a dish to pass.” We bring a dish, have fun and keep our opinions to ourselves, but we both think it’s bizarre to have a party and expect the guests to bring the food (finances are not an issue).

When a group is planning a cookout, having everyone bring food seems normal. But planning a party in your home and not providing the food — is this a new thing? — BYOF”

Dear BYOF:

It’s called a potluck and they’ve been around for centuries. WTF, why is this weird to you?

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18/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Sugar Addiction Ain’t Sweet

“I am a young teen who has a bad addiction to sugar. When I have tea, I put way too much sugar in it. I eat a ton of chocolate.

My parents keep telling me to cut back on the sugar and candy. It’s not because I’m overweight, it’s just because they say it’s really unhealthy.

I hate this part of me, and need to find a way to end my sugar addiction. Any ideas that I can try on my own? — Sugar-crazed”

Dear Crazed:

I used to drink quite a bit of soda and then I just quit cold turkey. It wasn’t like I was pounding three cans of Dr. Pepper per meal, but I conscious of my soda drinking habit. Then a few years ago I got back into running and cut out the sugary drink entirely. I knew from my time as a high school cross country runner that carbonated beverages, like soda, would hinder my running and I wanted to be faster/better so the choice was easy.

Candy is another beast entirely. I love candy. I cannot get enough of it even though I know I shouldn’t have too much. It’s not chocolate though, it’s the fruity candy’s like Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Sweet Tarts etc. that get to me. I tend to go on binges where I’ll pig out on candy and then just find it disgusting and not for me. It’s cyclical.

It’s during these binge moments that I’ve recently been trying to use more self-control. I stare at the colorful packaging and tell myself that I don’t need whatever peach ring or sour gummy bear is in there. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. It’s an ongoing battle. I have realized that it’s OK to have candy every now and then but I am trying to cut back and have it only a few times a month.

Going cold turkey is rough and might not be the best thing for you. Gradually limit the amount of sugar you put into your tea and how much chocolate and candy you eat. Slowly but surely you should reach a point to where a little, or maybe none!, is enough.

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16/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Porn-Loving Husband Isn’t Aroused By Wife

“My husband and I have been married for 28 years. We’ve had some ups and downs, but we have three great (adult) kids, a nice house, decent jobs, no debt, and we generally get along well.

A couple of years ago I found out that my husband had been viewing Internet porn. A lot.

I was devastated. I’ve never had great self-esteem where my appearance is concerned, and my husband has never been one to pay compliments.

We went to counseling and he said all the right things. I told him I was crushed by what he was doing and that I needed to know that he finds me physically attractive. I said this often, in sessions and at home.

More than a year later I still don’t get compliments. I know he no longer views porn, and I know that he loves me and appreciates me, but I can’t understand why he can’t do this for me.

I know I am just an average middle-aged woman, but I am not overweight, I take good care of myself, I am involved in many activities. Though I know I’m nowhere near perfect, when I look in the mirror I am OK with what I see. Should I just get over it?

Should I accept that this is MY problem and that he is not ever going to say what I need to hear, and just drop it and appreciate the good things in my life? I rarely mention this to him anymore. — Dejected”

Dear Dejected:

Firstly, what kind of porn was your husband looking at? Because if it was GILF’s and/or overweight women then I think you’re in the clear … Sort of, but that’s a whole other ball of wax. Porn … porn is weird. It’s changed so much in the last 30-40 years. Where there were once films featuring natural men and women there are now videos populated with silicon and plastic … sigh. But that’s also a whole other ball of wax and not relating to you at all.

He’s not viewing porn anymore which is great, but he’s still not acknowledging you and you should know that it’s a two-way street. You need to reach out and tell him “Hey, you look nice/handsome/sexy today” and then, maybe then, it will draw him into realizing that you are still attracted to him and in turn he will give you compliments.

And if all else fails, is there anything you would be willing to do to spice up the physical attraction/sexual energy without reintroducing porn into the mix? Maybe some role playing will jump start the old “engines”???

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16/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Needs A Budget

“When my boyfriend and I started dating seven months ago, I loved that we went out on fun dates. However, I started wondering where his money was coming from. I now know that he still receives income from his mother, even though he’s 23 and out of school.

Although he’s working a part-time job, I know it’s not enough to cover his bills. When I confronted him about searching for more work, he said he’s waiting to find his “true passion.”

He spends money on meals out, expensive clothes, and acting and writing classes. I value a strong work ethic, and it’s difficult for me to see him using his parents’ money rather than trying to make enough on his own.

How do I discuss this with him? Is it wrong to impose my values on him? — Anxious”

Dear Anxious:

Some dudes will never learn. That’s a fact.

Me? I’m a dude who still lives at home but I don’t get money from my parents. I work various jobs to make money as I try to find a more permanent employment situation. But, I also don’t spend the money (which I don’t have) on things I don’t need like clothes and meals out, like your guy does. I have something called self-control. He seems to need a certain lifestyle and cannot deviate. He’ll find out the hard way that his lifestyle cannot be maintained by his current income.

You can discuss this with him, but you can’t impose your values on him. He won’t listen. Trust me. It’ll suck but, he needs to learn budgeting on his own.

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