Tag Archives: Advice

17/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – He Wouldn’t Walk 1000 Miles To Fall Down At Your Door

“I am an 18-year-old girl. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly two years.

My boyfriend means everything to me. Although I have made mistakes we would talk and fix things, and everything would be OK.

Last year we both went to university in different parts of the country, so it was like we were having a long-distance relationship. I was OK with it until I met another guy who gave me everything I have been missing. We were not really dating but I had sex with him many times.

Earlier this week my boyfriend found out and broke up with me. It was only after he was gone that I realized he has always been and always will be my everything. I still love him.

I want him back, but he doesn’t want to hear from me. — M”

Dear M:

You “[had] been dating your boyfriend for nearly two years.” He “[meant] everything to” you. You keep addressing things in the present tense when it’s clearly the past. You cheated, he found out, he broke up with you, and now he wants nothing to do with you. I don’t blame him. He clearly has ZERO interest in getting back together with you and you’ve only now realized what he meant to you AFTER you cheated on him and he left you.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

You should’ve either chosen to be with him or not when you went off to school. Long-distance relationships rarely, if ever, work out. I had a public speaking professor who was vehemently against long-distance relationships – so much so that he presented his argument in a lecture/public speaking example – and it’s stuck with me since. Here’s the good news: you’re 18. You have learned a valuable lesson in life, love, and dating. Maybe this will teach you how to act in your next relationship. Or maybe it won’t. It’s up to you.

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16/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Mind The Gap

“I am a 54-year-old woman. I have been seeing a 28-year-old man for the past year.

Although I have confided in a couple close girlfriends and he has confided in his two brothers, he has asked me not to disclose this relationship to anyone else. I have respected his request to be on the down low.

I’ve been divorced for over 14 years and have three kids. I had no luck in the dating arena before I met him.

I have no desire for my kids or anyone else to know about this relationship, but I’m wondering: What do you think of a relationship where the age gap is so wide and the woman is older?

I think about it all the time. If same-sex relationships are no longer frowned upon by everyone, why does there still seem to be a problem accepting a relationship like mine?

I wonder what my future is with him, or if we have a future. Am I cheating myself? All I know is that he is brilliant, beautiful, very affectionate and giving emotionally to me. He is just the best overall person I have ever met.

Should I just relax about this relationship or am I just some stupid old lady?

I’d appreciate your comments and advice. — Middle-aged”

Dear Middle-Aged:

Watch the movie I Could Never Be Your Woman. It addresses many of your questions, in a cute and hilarious fashion I might add. People never seemed to bat an eye when older men show up with MUCH younger women. I mean, they have, but it is generally more acceptable tolerated more. Just look at Something’s Gotta Give or The First Wives Club: older man with a younger woman. Coincidentally they both starred Diane Keaton but that’s beside the point. Hell, even Anna Nicole Smith did it and people barely flinched (unless they were in that family).

You’re a grown woman and he’s a grown man capable of making his own decisions and he chose you. The obvious question here, if you do decide to keep this relationship going, is what happens when you are 70 and he’s 44 and you’re maybe thinking if slowing things down but he is still active? What happens then? Then, the age difference will catch up.

You also need to address if you want to continue to be his secret lover. At some point his friends/family will find out and so will yours and putting that off for too long could end up to bite you in the ass. Unless you are into that sort of thing…

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16/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Needy Nephew Needs Nothing

“Our nephew is graduating soon and he has sent family members letters asking for money for a trip he would like to take. His father is a multimillionaire and can more than afford to fund the trip.

I find it very rude. Is our nephew wrong for begging from family?

There have been no discussions whatsoever about gifts — he just slammed the family with this request.

My brother should be ashamed of himself for allowing his son to do this. It would be a little different if he had said, “If anyone is wondering what I might like …” (or something to that effect), instead of just assuming everyone was planning to give him something.

He just said he wanted to go on a trip and asked if we could help. — Frustrated at Brother”

Dear Frustrated:

It’s February, how is he “graduating soon”? Most schools graduate in May or June. Also, is he of High School age or College age? Because if he’s trying to bridge the gap between High School and College then he should just be like everyone else and get a Summer job instead of, presumably, wanting to backpack across Europe. If he’s graduating from College then perhaps he has earned a bit of a vacation but he was most definitely wrong for asking for money for a trip outright.

There is no reason to be openly mad at your brother because he has not attached his name to this request. Since you feel strongly about this, tell your nephew “No”. It can be a valuable lesson for him in the future about how to approach asking for things. Or he’ll just run to Daddy Warbucks and get the money from him.

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14/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhhhh

“My fiance and I have been together for five years. We have a son who is almost 2 years old. We have always talked about having at least one more baby.

My sister-in-law got pregnant (she’ll be having a boy), so I didn’t want to get pregnant and take the spotlight off her first pregnancy. I wanted her time to be special and threw a baby shower for her.

Yesterday my pregnant sister-in-law and I spent the whole day together, and I helped her set up her nursery. Last night I went home and I told my fiance about my day and then we got to talking about having another baby. We asked our son if he wanted a sibling and he said yes. (I know he probably doesn’t know what we are talking about.)

Would it be wrong of me to start trying to get pregnant? We want to give my sister-in-law her time to shine, but helping her yesterday made me realize how badly I wanted another baby. — Lady with Baby Blues”

Dear Lady:

No, it wouldn’t be wrong. If you were pregnant at the same time it’d be a little like Father of the Bride Part II where Diane Keaton and Kimberly Williams were pregnant at the same time … minus the Martin Short hijinks. Even if you were to get pregnant right now you would still have few months of a buffer between you and your sister-in-law. You’re kind to let her have her moment in the sun but don’t let her stop you from adding to your family if you want to. I am sure she would be happy for you, and if she wasn’t then that’s her problem.

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13/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Lemme Paint You An Easy Picture

“My aunt and uncle died about 10 years ago; they were both well into their 90s. Because they had no children, I inherited their things — including a very large painting which was a gift from my aunt’s much-younger cousin (he has now passed away).

The painting is of my aunt and uncle, taken from their 50th anniversary photo. It’s a very nice rendition, but I’m not sure what to do with it. There are no other relatives I could offer it to, and I don’t really have room for it. I hate to just trash it; I feel that would be disrespectful to their memory. Do you have any suggestions? — Concerned Niece”

Dear Concerned:

Put it in storage. Done.

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