Tag Archives: Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wrap Your Head Around This

My mother-in-law frequently orders birthday and holiday gifts for my family online, has them delivered directly to our house and then expects me to wrap them.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful — I really do appreciate that she cares enough to buy nice presents for our family. But I have three kids, a full-time job and many other obligations, and the time spent wrapping her gifts adds up.

I totally get why she wouldn’t want to have the items shipped to her, only to wrap them and pay shipping again to send them to us. However, I think if the situation were reversed, I might pay for gift wrapping when placing the order — or at least ask first whether she had the time to take care of it. Am I being an unappreciative grump? — Wrap-proachful

Dear Wrap-proachful:

I like the play on words you did with your name. Cute.

How many gifts is she sending? Is it really too much of your time to wrap a few of them?

I view two options here for you. Option 1: Ask your mother-in-law to have them wrapped by the company she bought them from. That way they will arrive at your house already wrapped.

Option 2: Open them up, remove any receipt and then wrap the box that it came in. I do that A LOT. It saves me from having to wrap an oddly shaped item unsuccessfully to wrapping a box unsuccessfully.

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“Jaw With John” – Snot Your Problem, It’s Theirs

Is it polite to blow your nose at the table? Would it be wrong of someone to ask a person not to do that while people are eating?

I am having a major blowup at my house over this. Please settle! — Grossed Out

Dear Grossed:

It’s not polite. Sometimes people sneeze without warning (like myself, because I have seasonal allergies) but if someone is sick or has a stuffy nose and is constantly blowing it around their food and yours, then it’s high time you blew them a little GTFO and tell then to do it away from the table.

Who in your family says it’s OK to blow your nose at the table while people are eating? WTF is wrong with their noses? If I’m inhaling a lot of mucus and snot and my mom can hear it she sternly tells me to “Blow it”. So I get up, reach for the tissues and blow my nose AWAY FROM THE TABLE! I suggest you tell your family members something similar.

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“Jaw With John” – Click, Click, Boom Unfollow

Three of my Facebook friends are over-the-top animal lovers. They find the worst cases of animal abuse and post pictures of them. I find them shocking (at best).

On numerous occasions these photos show tortured animals. These are truly terrible.

I get it. I know that some animals are abused. I don’t need to see the pictures to be convinced.

Can you suggest how I might encourage these Facebook friends to help these animals without posting pictures?

I would appreciate your help. — Visually Assaulted

Dear Assaulted:

If you don’t like what they post then you can easily just click on the downward-facing arrow in the top right corner of the post and click “Unfollow”. This will allow you to remain friends with this person but you won’t see their posts anymore. These people aren’t going to stop posting things like this and you commenting on their posts asking them to stop will only incite their rage and possibly lead them to call you insensitive to animal cruelty.

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“Jaw With John” – I Love Watching You Text People While We Hang Out…

My wife and I disagree on cellphone etiquette.

I do not think it is right to interrupt a conversation to take text messages during a date, at dinner or any time we are talking.

My wife says the opposite, that it is impolite to interrupt her texting to ask a question or for her not to respond to a text immediately, even if we are engaged in a date, dinner or conversation.

Your thoughts on this are greatly appreciated. — Admirer in Oregon

Dear Admirer:

Your wife is probably one of those people who leaves her phone on during a movie and when it vibrates with a text, she answers it and ruins the entire experience for everyone, isn’t she? Those people are the worst. They can’t leave their phone alone for 2+hours…

Is your wife a surgeon? Is she in charge of a NASA space mission? Is she the President of a country? If the answer to these questions is “No” then your wife is in the wrong here. Your wife is the one being impolite to you and others by saying that her phone/messages take precedence over the people in front of her. And for her to say that you are being impolite by asking her a question while she is texting is just plain bitch status. Whenever I am out on a date or with friends I am in that moment and look at my phone sparingly. She is being rude and needs to know that her behavior is no longer tolerated.

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“Jaw With John” – Color Me Stupid

I gave my girlfriend $250 for her birthday. She used it to have her hair done.

When she got home, she didn’t like the color. She is going back this weekend. It probably won’t be free, so who should pay? — Darryl

Dear Darryl:

What’s crackin’ Darryl? You gave her a gift and she spent it. If she gave you $20 and you went to a movie, but it ended up being awful would you expect her to give you another $20 so you could find a movie you did like? Hell no. It’s times like this that I remember a quote from Homer Simpson: “You chose fruit, you live with fruit.” Your girlfriend chose to have her hair done, she can live with it (or change it). Either way your wallet stays closed amigo!

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