Tag Archives: Advice

28/01/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Unfaithful Roommate Has Made His Bed

“I recently found out that my roommate cheated on his girlfriend with one of our co-workers. He did this two times!

When I confronted him about his unfaithfulness he was honest and forthcoming. He also told his girlfriend (who lives in another country) and she decided to stay with him and work things out.

However, he still hangs out with the “other woman” on a one-on-one basis and she comes over to the apartment and lies on his bed with him.

I told him this is wrong and unfair to his girlfriend. I don’t want to keep challenging him on this, but I’m not sure what else I can do. — Trying to Stay Loyal”

Dear Loyal:

He’s not going to change so why waste your breath? Let him reap what he sows when and if his actual girlfriend returns. You’ve done the honorable thing already in confronting him yet he has kept on doing what he’s been doing. Stop trying.

You can always give this “other woman” the stink eye or glare at her whenever she is over. You could try that…but that’s not going to change anything. She’s just as bad as he is. He’s living in a burning house but hasn’t smelled the smoke or felt the heat. He’s oblivious and should be left to burn.

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27/01/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Son Has Something Brown On His Nose

“Before winter break, my 12-year-old son wanted to do something nice for his teachers during the “time of giving,” and he baked cookies that he made from scratch (sweet!). He created decorative bags, handmade name tags and had them placed in his teachers’ mailbox area.

I was amazed that only one out of the eight wrote him a thank-you note. I have taught my children that receipt of a gift from someone always deserves a handwritten thank-you. It takes but four sentences, can be written in six minutes (or less) and speaks volumes of appreciation for someone’s thoughtfulness, time and generosity.

He was touched by the one teacher’s kindness. This incident made me notice that we are becoming a very wanting but truly thankless society, and I find it sad. I was assuming teachers would set a better example. Am I old-fashioned? — Thankful”

Dear Thankful:

Two words come to mind when I read this: Brown Nose. Is it nice and thoughtful? You bet your sweet ass it is. But it also comes off as someone who is being overly nice to his teachers and trying to gain favor. That’s how I would view it as if I were in his grade. Hell, it’s how I view it as an adult!

Maybe one of the teachers is allergic to one of the ingredients in the cookie. Or didn’t know what was in it and decided to not take the chance. Maybe they are gluten intolerant, and not the fake kind where they are “just trying it out to see how [their] body feels”. There are numerous external factors here that could contribute to them not writing back. But it all comes back to your son trying too hard to be nice and coming off looking like a Teacher’s Pet.

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26/01/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – She’s Not Lying in Bed Just Like Brian Wilson Did

“My 15-year-old daughter chose to attend a private/prep school in the city.

She gets up at 5:45 every morning, takes a train and a bus to school, and reverses the commute at the end of every day. On weekends she stays up late (probably like most teenagers) and does not wake up until 11 a.m. or so.

I’m not sure if I should be letting her sleep or getting her up early. She does do some chores around the house: cleans her room, her bathroom, does the dishes, etc. My husband and I don’t want to burn her out, but we don’t want her to get away with sleeping in.

Any advice? — Too Demanding?”

Dear Demanding?:

Is she misbehaving? Acting out? Getting into trouble? Not completing her homework? If the answer to these questions is “No”. Leave her be.

She clearly has a rough weekday schedule and the weekend is a time for her to unwind and catch up on some much needed sleep. Having said that, I used to get up at around that time when I was in high school and even on weekends I was up by 7-7:30am. I just can’t justify sleeping in. I’ve only slept in past 10am twice and both times I felt like the day was wasted. Bu that’s just me. Unless she’s “lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did” then this is a non-issue. Let the girl sleep.

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26/01/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Call Me, Maybe? Girl, Make It Definitely

“I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years. After our breakup, a friend, “Bob,” asked me out.

For the past two weeks, Bob and I have gone out multiple times and talked almost every day. He is very sweet and often compliments me.

We haven’t talked about any potential relationship, but it seems clear that he likes me.

Four days ago Bob and I went to get drinks and the movies, and his sister and her husband came along. I met them for the first time.

We all had a good time and I ended the night by telling Bob to call me when he wanted to see me again, but I haven’t heard from him. Now I am confused. I don’t want to call Bob since I told him to call me, but I’m afraid he will lose interest or think that I am uninterested.

What should I do? I genuinely like him and could see us having a relationship together. Do you think I’m moving too fast? — Single”

Dear Single:

If you like him, call or text him. He clearly likes you and the fact that you’re wondering why he hasn’t called you shows you like him too. Maybe he just got busy with work or life in general and has forgotten to call you. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened to someone before. Send him a quick message about the other day and how much fun you had and see what happens. But remember: be cool.

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26/01/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Ugh, Her Parties Suck

“Please update us on current customs, etiquette and hospitality.

My husband and I have a younger friend, “Laura.” She is a psychologist in private practice and a yoga instructor on the weekends.When she had her 35th birthday at a local bar/party room she told everyone to “order lots of food and drink.” We had a can of Sprite and a small bag of potato chips and left early. The next day Laura asked why we left without paying for our refreshments and share of the room rent.

For her 37th birthday, she solicited donations to pay off her student loan. At her 39th birthday party, she had a “smile table” for guests to pay for her dental work (I skipped parties on other years).

Now we are invited to her “wedding.” She was married last year. They are having a reception with “light snacks” on their first anniversary. On the invitation they requested contributions for fertility testing and an IVF procedure.

My husband and I like to help others. We have willingly given Laura thousands of dollars over the years. I’m a retired nurse and volunteer many hours caring for homeless people.

Should we start saving for their eventual down payment on a house? — Bewildered in Seattle”

Dear Bewildered:

This girl just want people to finance her lifestyle. Don’t give in. You’ve already given more than enough. She is at the point in her life where she needs to be doing things herself and stop asking others.

There is clearly a pattern for soliciting money. She encourages people to “order lots of food and drink” and then gets mad when you don’t pay for your soda and chips? I’m willing to bet that there were some party-goers who did as they were told and when the bill came for them they must’ve been surprised because she made it sound like she was going to pay for it all. This is the kind of person who would divide up the check evenly amongst an entire group of people even though some people’s meals were significantly less. Those people annoy me.

Break the pattern. Wish her well in her marriage and leave it at that.

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