John Kidde Writes

“My husband feels that I am overly generous when I leave a 20 percent tip for satisfactory service and up to 25 percent for extraordinary service. He insists that 15 percent is always a respectable amount to tip servers.

We are even farther apart when it comes to tipping valets, housekeeping or drivers.

I have tried to persuade him with travel guides that contain tipping practices, discussion about the income levels of those in service fields, and noting the merits of the individual’s performance.

I often resort to picking up the check myself or leaving extra money behind to make up for the difference but feel bad about going behind my husband’s back on this issue. Advice? –Former Server”

Dear Server:

Who is your Husband? Mr. Pink?

I’ve never been a food server, but I’ve worked in an environment where tips were HUGE in terms of their impact, not necessarily in terms of their amount. With that in mind, I always tend to be more generous when I tip at restaurants and similar places. Unless the service is downright awful, I still tip.

Tell him to imagine being a server: working hard, busting his ass for someone he doesn’t know and may never see ever again. He’s sweating, running back and forth, making sure everything is just right for that customer. He’s been polite, catered to this customer and even went the extra mile to make sure that they had a pleasant time and enjoyed their food.

Now, when that check comes and the guest has paid up and left he goes back to the table to find a dollar or two, or maybe there’s nothing at all. He checks the credit card receipt to see if they left something there. Nada, or maybe there’s some paltry amount that is the equivalent to spitting in his face for the amount of work he just did. Maybe then he’ll change his tune on tipping. If he doesn’t, then keep doing what you’re doing and tip behind his back. **

**Unless you’re in a country that doesn’t tip, for example: Australia, Argentina, Japan, or New Zealand.