Tag Archives: Advice

“Jaw With John” – Cats Are Not Allowed in the Kitchen

We have a family situation that comes up every year during the holidays. My son and his wife have no kids. Their animals are treated like their children.

Every year we are invited to their house for a holiday dinner. Their cats have free roam of the house and their litter box is in the kitchen next to where we sit down to eat.

That is bad enough, but while we are there the cats use the litter box and then jump up on the counter (where their food is) to eat and also to be petted — all while my daughter-in-law makes the dinner.

We get so sick at this sight that we barely eat any dinner.

We look forward to spending time with them and have made a slight reference to the cat litter box, but our daughter-in-law is not about to change. To her these cats are her kids.

We are worried that if we say anything the relationship with my son will suffer. What should we do? We just don’t want to eat in that kitchen again! — Stuck in the Litter

Dear Stuck:

Cats are awful, terrible creatures. Tell them to ditch the cats and switch to dogs. Dogs are the best.

Cats are too unwieldy and no matter how much you train them, they can snap at any moment. You know what you’re getting with dogs, no surprises. Dogs also do their business OUTSIDE and not next to where you prepare food – unless you prep meals outside … on the grass/dirt.

Your daughter-in-law sounds like a crazy cat lady and they can’t be reasoned with at all. BUT, if you’re trying to lose weight this sounds like a great way to do it! Look at those cats walking around near your food and eat less! Otherwise, steer clear of cats in general. They suck.

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“Jaw With John” – I’m Fining You For Being a Dumb Friend

I have had a friend, “Margaret,” for 18 years. We are both over 50 years old and have shared many important life-changing events.

On her birthday, she had a party at her house. I arrived early to help out and parked in front of her house, as I have done for the past 18 years.

Unbeknownst to me, there is a new restricted parking zone in that spot. I got a $50 ticket!

I felt furious, betrayed and shocked that Margaret had not informed me or warned me not to park there.

She told me privately that she would pay half of the ticket. The due date came and went, I paid the ticket, and nothing more was said. The other day, I made a remark about the $50 and she rolled her eyes. That would have been the perfect moment to offer to help pay.

She has never apologized. I would never let this happen to a friend. This is interfering with my trust and good feelings toward her, and I am leaning toward cutting back on the friendship, or ending it.

Is this grounds to end a friendship? — Betrayed in Denver

Dear Betrayed:

Grounds to end a friendship? That would be a pretty flimsy friendship if it ended over a parking ticket.

Let your friend off the hook here because you should know that you were in the wrong. It is not her job to tell you about a new parking restriction. She might have received a notice about the change but probably forgot about it. Also, she most likely parks in her driveway or parking garage so even if she did know about it, it probably went in one ear and out the other.

This whole thing is on you. You need to look out for signs that could tell you when and where you can or cannot park in certain spots. If I could issue a citation for you, I would, because this is one bonehead of a thought by you. Do you really think $50 is enough to end an 18-year friendship? Because I sure as hell don’t.

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“Jaw With John” – Helicopter Parents Digital Hovering

“I recently got a phone for my 14th birthday. With the new phone came lots of rules.

I have a Kik and a Snapchat app and an Instagram account, etc. (like most teenagers), but my parents decided that they should be able to go through my phone and all my social networking accounts whenever they feel the need.

I don’t like this because my friends say things my parents would find inappropriate and then my friends get in trouble with my parents.

I understand that my parents just mean to keep me safe, especially with cyber-bullying around, but I kind of feel like this is a violation of my privacy. Your thoughts? — Violated

Dear Violated:

In this era of sexting and cyber bullying your parents are just looking out for you and making sure you are safe. It’s their job.

I wouldn’t like it either if I was a teenager living in this social media age. Thank god I could only call, text, play Snake or Brick Attack on my phone when I was your age. Also, only MySpace and Friendster were around, which were meh…AIM was big, but that was it for social media and messaging, unless you *GASP* actually talked face to face with people!

Kik? Really? The only people I know who use kik are hookers who solicit me online via spam emails and people at the beer company I used to work for. I think you need to find a new messaging app.

Your friends will post stupid things, it happens. Just be smart about what you post and who can post on your pages and things will be cool. And if you don’t like your parents hovering around your digital space then you can delete those pages and apps and go off the grid and live like it’s 1997.

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“Jaw With John” – You Can’t Walk Over Burned Bridges

I was married over 40 years. My ex-wife and I had numerous problems throughout our marriage. I left several times but always went back. The last time I left, I filed for divorce.

It’s been a few years and I am starting to miss her. We talk briefly every once in a while, mostly because of our grandchildren.

I am currently living with a divorced woman. We get along great but never talked of marriage.

Lately my live-in mentioned getting married. It has hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want to. I want to go back to my ex. I don’t know if she’ll take me back. If my current relationship falls apart, I have no place to go, but I don’t care.

I don’t know how to go about talking to my ex about going back to her. I don’t even know if she will take me back.

I am currently not seeing a psychiatrist, though I have in the past and will probably do so again. — Torn

Dear Torn:

You left, now you want to go back? People always want what they can’t have. This is one of those situations.

You have a history of coming and going soooooo I doubt your ex-wife will listen to you or want you back. Just a shot in the dark there.

As for your current live-in, you need to tell her up front what you want out of this relationship. If she leaves and you have no place to go you said you’d be fine? Uhh, what? I don’t think you know exactly what you want.

You’re scared shitless that your live-in wants to tie you down and you want to run back to what you know and are comfortable with. CTFO, take some “me time” and figure out what you want.

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“Jaw With John” – In This Situation: GTFO

I have two friends who happen to be cousins to each other — “Carmen” and “Angela.” Angela has been dating her boyfriend, “Jose,” for about three years. She talks about marriage.

I don’t think he’s a good guy but I don’t know if I should tell her. He has cheated on Angela with her cousin Carmen. He even spent a whole weekend with Carmen when Angela was away.

I wish Carmen hadn’t told me this. She has put me between a rock and a hard place. I’ve reprimanded her many times and have made sure she never talks to him again (as far as I know).

I’ve asked Carmen to come clean with Angela but she is afraid to. She feels bad about what she did, and no longer talks to Jose. She ignores his messages and calls.

I feel that if Jose did this to Angela with her own cousin, he might be cheating on her with other girls. Angela has had suspicions but always believes him.

I don’t know what to do. Angela does not deserve this but Carmen is my friend, and I would have to out her if I let Angela know about what happened. Also there might be a big family feud over this. What should I do? — Desperate to be a Good Friend

Dear Desperate:

I’ll refer you to something Terry Benedict told Rusty & Danny Ocean’s gang of 11:

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