Tag Archives: Advice

11/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Money Talks, And So Does His Brother

“Both my brother and I are in our early 60s. My brother “Sam” is retired but has a wife who still works and makes outstanding money.

Sam continually lectures family members and friends about how much money he has and how they should follow his advice in investing their money. He brags and tells everyone in the family how they should be living their lives.

His arrogance drives everyone crazy! I told him many times that I do not want his financial advice. I tracked all of his financial advice and finally sat him down. I showed him mathematically that if I had followed his advice over the past several years that my wife and I would have lost almost all our life’s savings.

I also told him that family members and friends think he is very arrogant. He started screaming at me, told me that he did not believe a word I said, and ran out of the room.

I haven’t heard from him in several years. He will not answer any of my correspondence. What’s the best way to make him understand that he cannot continue to behave this way? — Concerned Brother”

Dear Brother:

Did he really run out of the room? Because that would be pretty damn dramatic.

Is he really that rich? I imagine your brother walking around in a pin striped suit, slicked back hair, cigar in hand constantly saying “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” Or telling you as you pick up your cup of coffee in the morning, “Put that coffee down. Coffee’s for closers only.” But reality never lives up to your imagination…

Tracking down your brother’s past advice and telling him that he was wrong is kind of a dick move on your part. Sure he was wrong, but you didn’t have to do that to him to let him know he was wrong. You wasted a lot of time proving he was wrong and what did that accomplish? You’ve now made an enemy of your brother.

How is he making his money anyway? Perhaps you should just do as he does and not as he says. But this guy sounds like a prick, so don’t encourage him. Ultimately, the best way of dealing with people as loud as your brother is to calmly tell him “Sam, I appreciate your advice but I have my own financial plan that I am following.”

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08/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – It’s your party, cry if you want to, but don’t

“I am the youngest of three sisters. I was born on my sister “Carol’s” first birthday. We are all in our 50s.

My mom invited me to go out with my sisters and other family members on Sunday (our birthday). I said yes.

A few days later my mom called and said Carol had plans on our birthday and asked me about Saturday. My husband and I were booked for an overnight trip to celebrate our anniversary.

I said I was hoping we could go out Monday, but if Monday didn’t work then I was OK with missing it.

My whole family celebrated Carol’s birthday on Saturday without me. I know I said it was OK, but it was my birthday too!

I am so hurt. Am I overreacting? I really can’t think about talking to them right now. I don’t know how I’ll face them at Christmas. — Birthday Sister”

Dear Birthday:

You said you were OK with them celebrating and NOW you’re butthurt that they celebrated without you. Hmm. I’m gonna say to you what Zack de la Rocha of ‘Rage Against the Machine’ said “What you reap, is what you sew!”

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07/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Stop Toying With My Child

“I just had a baby. My mother in-law has already said she will buy us mountains upon mountains of toys. I believe her.

Last Christmas, our niece, who is 4, received nearly 20 toys, including a $500 item, from just my mother-in-law! The child receives gifts from every family member, so it’s not like no one else buys things for her, there is no need to “make up” for gifts she wouldn’t receive.

It’s like this every holiday/birthday. A million toys, too much money spent, while my mother-in-law is behind on her mortgage and repeatedly asks us for help!

I have said to her that at Christmas I don’t want too many toys for my child. I was told how horrible that is of me, how dare I deprive a child of playing and that I’m being selfish. My husband tried backing me up on this, but his mom wouldn’t hear it. We gave her alternatives, like a college fund, to put the money toward, but she says she’ll do whatever she wants.

I flat-out told her if we receive too many toys, they will be donated. Now, she is buying toys for an infant, sometimes multiples because she forgets what she bought!

I am outraged at her behavior and her blatant disrespect for our wishes. She is lonely and none of her kids can seem to rein her in. I do not know what to do anymore. — Enough Toys”

Dear Enough:

Your mother-in-law just wants your child to be happy and have fun, but it seems like she’s going overboard.

She’s clearly not getting your hint/direct message that she’s giving too many toys to your child. The fact that she doesn’t remember what she gave your child is probably due to the fact that she’s buying so many damn toys!

If she continues to give you toys and won’t put money, that would’ve spent on those toys, into a college fund (which would be smarter) then why don’t YOU take the toys you don’t want/need and choose the ones you want to donate and then you can sell the rest and use that money for a college fund.

If your mother-in-law becomes outraged by this, then maybe she’ll finally get the message and follow your wishes.

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06/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Drunk at the wedding, what else is new?

“My husband and I were married last year, and it truly was the best day of our lives.

The only problem was my maid of honor. She was very controlling, pestered me about details that I did not care about and tried to schedule every second of the whole weekend.

I ended up being quite blunt. Between the ceremony and reception, while my husband and I were getting our photos taken, she got extremely intoxicated.

She was a disaster during group photos and proceeded to get intoxicated to the point where the wait staff cut her off. Her speech was a blubbering mess and she bawled through the entire reception.

She was my best friend prior to this. I feel a tremendous sense of loss at the change in our relationship and am having trouble coping. We have discussed it since, and she blames me for being mean to her prior to the wedding, however, I don’t think that excuses her behavior.

She has left a dark cloud over my memory of my wedding day and I am having a hard time forgiving her. How can I get past this? — Newlywed”

Dear Newlywed:

As my understanding of weddings go, the Maid of Honor is supposed to be on top of what is going on and to possibly take things off your (the bride’s) plate so you can focus on your wedding. She sounds like she was just trying to make your special day easier and as efficient as possible.

Did you ever think that maybe she was a “blubbering mess” and crying throughout the reception because she was losing her best friend? It was clearly an emotional time for her and it sounds like you misread the signs and she coped by drinking – which, by the way, how did she get so drunk in between the ceremony and the photo taking? That’s maybe a 30-40 minute window… Kudos to her then for partying hard and maximizing her time. Furthermore, where was her date to take care of her!? Or maybe the Best Man!? But, you also don’t deny that you were mean to her prior to the wedding. No, it doesn’t excuse her reactions but shunning her was the wrong course of action.

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05/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Hey! Hey! You! You! You don’t like your boyfriend

“I met a really nice man about a month ago, and we have been going out. We did not have our first kiss until our fifth date, and we were both drunk when it happened.

We spent almost the whole weekend together (no sex) this past weekend, and it was a lot of fun. He sent roses to my office on Monday. However, I feel like a jerk because I am still not sure about this.

I am about to graduate with a master’s degree, and he didn’t go to college. I know it shouldn’t matter. He has a great job. However, I always just have seen myself with someone who has an education.

He is a momma’s boy, and that scares me. He tells his mother everything. While we were on our date, on our train ride home at 1 a.m., I fell asleep on his shoulder. He took a selfie of me, but did not tell me. He sent the picture to his mom, and I found out from his mom (I have never met her) the next day. Should I be creeped out by this? — Broken”

 

Dear Broken:

I’m creeped out just reading about him.

You seem REALLY hesitant to do anything with this guy. I mean, it took you five dates(?!) to kiss AND you were drunk? I went out with a girl for about a month or so (about a date a week) and it wasn’t until that final date that she said she liked me as a friend/liked hanging out with me and, I’ll be honest, that sucked. Don’t string him along any further because it’s not fair to him or you.

On the topic of his educational background, you seem to be fabricating negatives to justify your reason for not liking him all that much. Ultimately, I believe that you really don’t like this guy and on top of that he’s taking photos of you and sending them off to his mom without your consent. That’s photographic rape and a clear sign to GTFO. Get Detective Benson and the SVU squad on the case stat.

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