Tag Archives: Advice

“Jaw With John” – Covering Up Private Parts

I frequently read in your column about people snooping into their partner’s e-mail or texts and how that is a breach of privacy. I disagree.
No part of either my phone or computer is private from my husband.

He is too lazy to log out of my Facebook account and into his, so he just reads mine (he never comments for me, though). If I wanted to hide any portion of my personal life from him, I think it would mean that I was doing or thinking something that I shouldn’t. If we live authentic, honest lives, there is nothing to hide. Our privacy should be shared privacy.

Please explain what is wrong with my thinking. — Confused Reader

Dear Confused:
What’s wrong with your thinking? Look at your verbiage there. You use the word “snooping” which already implies that you’re going through things you shouldn’t.

As for your husband, I agree with you that he is just too lazy to log out of Facebook OR he just doesn’t remember his password and continues to use your account. I’m gonna go with forgotten password here.

It bothers me that you believe that even thinking something you shouldn’t is wrong. Are you one of those guys from Scanners where if you think about exploding someone’s head you will? Oh, you’re not? Well then, that just sounds ridiculous.

You also say that “if we live authentic, honest lives, there is nothing to hide.” Well, let me tell you something Rocky Balboa told his son in Rocky Balboa: “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.” There is always something to hide. Whether or not you choose to share that is entirely up to you.

Privacy is not about “hiding” things from other people, it’s about keeping things to yourself because they are personal or, stay with me here, private. Respect that others feel this way and stay away from my phone … and computer … and my craigslist account. Better yet, just stay away from me entirely.

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“Jaw With John” – Dude, you’re dreaming

I’ve recently had multiple dreams where I cheat on my girlfriend.

I’ve never been unfaithful to her or any previous girlfriend, and I’ve never really even considered it. However, in the dreams I am totally aware that I’m in a relationship, but I still “hook up” with these girls, usually an ex or a female friend of mine.

In my dreams I feel guilty but I don’t stop. I’m worried that this dream behavior could transfer over to the real world. Is this likely to happen? What should I do about it? — Unfaithful Dreamer

Dear Unfaithful: It’s a dream. Unless you’ve been the victim of inception, then it doesn’t mean anything.

If dreams did mean something and “transfer over to the real world” then I would be part of a resistance group to take down a still alive Hitler only to be betrayed by my closest ally killed in an explosion, made out with a recently come to life statue of Athena, or not be able to run in real life since I can only swim through the air in my dreams. So, if ANY of those things come to fruition then you’ve got a problem. Until that time, sweet dreams.

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Don’t “Ask Amy”, Jaw with John!

I’m changing things up a bit to give my writing some variety and I figured I’d start by handing out some advice. I already read the ‘Ask Amy’ column that comes in my copy of the LA Times every day and sometimes I feel that Amy doesn’t give the best advice.

That’s where I come in.

I will choose one of the two questions asked and give my own brand of advice which I am calling ‘Jaw with John’.

Is it my advice good? I don’t know.
Will it be sarcastic? Most likely.
Will there be at least a grain of truth in my response? Absolutely.

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My advice face

Without further ado.

“My brother is engaged to a great woman whom we all love. She has two kids (ages 6 and 5) from a previous marriage. As a family we all love her kids too!

She and my brother are now expecting a baby and while there is no wedding date set (a sticking point with some members of our family), my real question is regarding a baby shower.

I’ve heard of throwing a “sprinkle” for someone’s second baby, but I don’t know what is expected in this sort of situation. If we do anything we’d like it to be co-ed to involve my brother as well, but should we throw a full-on baby shower? — Eager (Almost) Aunt

Dear Eager,

Let me set the record straight. No man wants to go to a baby shower. Ever. Period. Do you think he’d enjoy sitting around watching the mother of his unborn child open breast pumps, onesies, or a book on proper kegel exercises? NO! I understand you love your brother but this sounds like unnecessary torture.

Most guys would rather be given things and stuff they need for their baby without all of the pomp and decorations. It’s either that or watch him stare awkwardly at the mother-to-be as she unwraps a “How To Lose That Baby Fat” book.

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