Tag Archives: best friend

29/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wedding Bells Are Wringing Your Wallet

“My best friend (I have known her for 40 years) is getting married for the third time. I was maid of honor at her first wedding and showered her with some very nice gifts at that time.

That marriage lasted two years. She got married the second time. Again, I gave her very nice gifts, both monetary and items from her registry. That marriage lasted 20 years.

Now, she is marrying a guy she knew in grammar school and reconnected with on Facebook.

My family of three is attending this third reception. They are having a dinner in a country club with dancing and a photo booth.

What would be an appropriate gift? My husband is not fond of my friend and feels we should not give a generous gift.

What is your opinion? — Hope Third Time is the Charm!”

Dear Hope:

Why are you telling me they have a photo booth? This doesn’t help me make my decision. In fact, it doesn’t even influence my decision. Give her the cheapest thing on her registry, it’s as easy as that. I don’t know why this is such a dilemma since your husband, and I’m guessing you too, feel that she has received enough lavish gifts from you. KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

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13/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – I’m Fining You For Being a Dumb Friend

“I have had a friend, “Margaret,” for 18 years. We are both over 50 years old and have shared many important life-changing events.

On her birthday, she had a party at her house. I arrived early to help out and parked in front of her house, as I have done for the past 18 years.

Unbeknownst to me, there is a new restricted parking zone in that spot. I got a $50 ticket!

I felt furious, betrayed and shocked that Margaret had not informed me or warned me not to park there.

She told me privately that she would pay half of the ticket. The due date came and went, I paid the ticket, and nothing more was said. The other day, I made a remark about the $50 and she rolled her eyes. That would have been the perfect moment to offer to help pay.

She has never apologized. I would never let this happen to a friend. This is interfering with my trust and good feelings toward her, and I am leaning toward cutting back on the friendship, or ending it.

Is this grounds to end a friendship? — Betrayed in Denver”

Dear Betrayed:

Grounds to end a friendship? That would be a pretty flimsy friendship if it ended over a parking ticket.

Let your friend off the hook here because you should know that you were in the wrong. It is not her job to tell you about a new parking restriction. She might have received a notice about the change but probably forgot about it. Also, she most likely parks in her driveway or parking garage so even if she did know about it, it probably went in one ear and out the other.

This whole thing is on you. You need to look out for signs that could tell you when and where you can or cannot park in certain spots. If I could issue a citation for you, I would, because this is one bonehead of a thought by you. Do you really think $50 is enough to end an 18-year friendship? Because I sure as hell don’t.

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06/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Drunk at the wedding, what else is new?

“My husband and I were married last year, and it truly was the best day of our lives.

The only problem was my maid of honor. She was very controlling, pestered me about details that I did not care about and tried to schedule every second of the whole weekend.

I ended up being quite blunt. Between the ceremony and reception, while my husband and I were getting our photos taken, she got extremely intoxicated.

She was a disaster during group photos and proceeded to get intoxicated to the point where the wait staff cut her off. Her speech was a blubbering mess and she bawled through the entire reception.

She was my best friend prior to this. I feel a tremendous sense of loss at the change in our relationship and am having trouble coping. We have discussed it since, and she blames me for being mean to her prior to the wedding, however, I don’t think that excuses her behavior.

She has left a dark cloud over my memory of my wedding day and I am having a hard time forgiving her. How can I get past this? — Newlywed”

Dear Newlywed:

As my understanding of weddings go, the Maid of Honor is supposed to be on top of what is going on and to possibly take things off your (the bride’s) plate so you can focus on your wedding. She sounds like she was just trying to make your special day easier and as efficient as possible.

Did you ever think that maybe she was a “blubbering mess” and crying throughout the reception because she was losing her best friend? It was clearly an emotional time for her and it sounds like you misread the signs and she coped by drinking – which, by the way, how did she get so drunk in between the ceremony and the photo taking? That’s maybe a 30-40 minute window… Kudos to her then for partying hard and maximizing her time. Furthermore, where was her date to take care of her!? Or maybe the Best Man!? But, you also don’t deny that you were mean to her prior to the wedding. No, it doesn’t excuse her reactions but shunning her was the wrong course of action.

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