Tag Archives: eating habits

“Jaw With John” – Eating Off The Table? Next Stop Floor!

Recently I met a group of retired women for breakfast at a casual restaurant. One of the women brought her toddler granddaughter. During the meal she let the girl sit on her lap and eat her scrambled egg and pancake off the table. The waitress offered her a dish or clean paper place mat but she refused, saying the girl gets enough germs on her own.

I was disgusted thinking of all the “ugly” germs on the table, but I didn’t say a word. Would I have been overreacting if I had said something? — Lost Appetite

Dear Lost:

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“Jaw With John” – I’ve Smelled Worse

A few days ago I was at the airport gate waiting for our departure when a woman with a bag from a fast-food place came up and sat in our midst. She pulled out her burger and fries and ate them, then got up and left the area. (I couldn’t see if she went to her gate or found another seat.)

I exchanged looks with a couple of the other people waiting, as we all were aware of her aromatic meal.

Likewise, movie theaters now sell pizza and nachos in addition to popcorn, and the smell of some of this stuff is nauseating, especially if one hasn’t eaten in a while and doesn’t indulge in greasy fried foods. Is there a nice way to ask someone to eat somewhere else, or is this another convention that we simply have to live with? — Peter

Dear Peter:

Way to go with using your, supposedly, real name dude.

If you don’t like the smell then you can move. Unless it’s a designated “No Eating” area then you have no beef here. See what I did there? And please, stop trying to be all high and mighty by saying you don’t “indulge in greasy fried foods.” You’re not better than me or anyone else who does. Bringing it up only makes you look like a twat.

It’s a public space, the woman has the right to eat what she wants, where she wants. I am willing to bet that the eating area was fully occupied so she was just looking for a place to sit and eat before her flight. And she found one near you. Also, you “exchanged looks”? What the [expletive deleted] does that mean? Congratulations, your collective noses work. It’s not like she whipped out a day-old tuna and started cutting it up. It was a burger and fries. Chillax.

As for movie theatres, again, if you don’t like the smell then move. I have seen people bring in Chinese food and when they open that Styrofoam container I smell it and go “Gah, that’s not what I want to smell!” So what do I do? I bear it, because I know that it will only last a few minutes. Then I stuff my face with popcorn. Asking someone to sit somewhere else because you are bothered by its smell is a dick move. You wouldn’t do that at a restaurant would you? Um, excuse me, Miss, could you eat your Bloomin’ Onion at another table? The smell is bothering me. No! That would NEVER happen! Suck it up for a few minutes. You’ll survive.

 

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“Jaw With John” – It’s Seafood, Not See Food

My husband and I just hosted another family meal and, once again, I am dismayed by the complete lack of basic manners and courtesy from various adult family members.

No one says please or thank you. Many of them chew with their mouths open and talk with their mouths full. They are all older than 40. I can’t think of any polite way to make them aware of their rudeness, but I am sick of it. Any suggestions? — Grossed Out

Dear Grossed:

Suggestion: Don’t eat with them again. What you described is disgusting and … well, just plain disgusting. There is no delicate way to say to an adult that their eating habits are that on an infant. They won’t take kindly to your comment, no matter how you tell them. Perhaps this family is just a “Meet For Drinks” family. That way you’ll never have to see them behave poorly again. Unless they’re slurpers…

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