Tag Archives: Fiance

“Jaw With John” – Fiance’s Out, But She Still Wants A Wedding…Uh, What?

My sister has been engaged for the past year and has everything planned for a wedding this summer. However, her fiance has recently contacted her to let her know he is no longer interested in marrying her.

My sister is distraught, but we have a four-month window to cancel the hotel, the band, etc., and still recoup a large portion of the deposit money.

My sister does not want us to cancel anything. She has told us multiple times that if we cancel the wedding, she won’t have the opportunity to fix this broken relationship, and she will wind up never getting married. She is having a very hard time coming to terms with her current situation. Meanwhile, her fiance has moved out of their home and is living with a friend.

If we do not cancel the venue we stand to lose many thousands of dollars, but we still want to support my sister. What is the right thing to do? — Distraught

Dear Distraught:

Your sister is living in Crazy Town and not the one populated by the band of the same name.

This thing with her fiance is done, finished. The relationship is not broken at this point, it’s shattered. Keeping the wedding afloat in the hopes that he’ll reconsider is the pipiest(new word) of pipe dreams. He’s moved out and moved on. Wasting money on this extravagant party – which it’s just that at this point, a party – is a truly horrible idea.

What if he doesn’t show? Which he won’t. How crushed will she be when that happens? That would be worse than calling off the whole thing. It would be traumatizing and she may never recover from the humiliation. You can’t let her go through with this plan.

By canceling everything now you are supporting her future.

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“Jaw With John” – Fiancee Needs To Know About Husband-To-Be

I was dating someone on and off for five years. He broke up with me suddenly last summer but we have hooked up (sexually) since then.

I found out three weeks ago that he had been seeing someone else that entire time and that they became engaged just after he broke it off with me, which makes me a wholly blindsided “other woman.”

So he cheated on his girlfriend with me almost the entire time they were together and continued to cheat on her after they became engaged. He always maintained that he was single and that she was “just a friend.”

Needless to say, I am devastated. It has come to my attention that even though his parents know the truth, he has not told his fiancee about me.

I feel sick over the whole thing and I think it’s very important that she know the truth about whom she is marrying, as the wedding is fast approaching.

Is there some way for me to let her know what’s going on without looking like I’m some vindictive, crazy ex-girlfriend just looking for revenge?

If I were in her position I would want to know. I don’t know what to do. I bet I feel guiltier about it than he does!

Also, how do I get past this? I still can’t believe it has happened, and I can’t believe someone I cared about so much and trusted completely could have acted this way and kept it up for so long. — Bewildered in Baltimore

Dear Bewildered:

There is no way to come out of this looking good. You can’t force other people to feel a certain way about you. It’s just not possible.

You definitely need to tell the fiancee who she is about to marry. You can’t text, email, or call her. You need to tell her face-to-face something like this: “I had been with your fiance off and on for the last few years. All the while he maintained that you were ‘just a friend’ and he led me to believe that he was still single.” How she reacts from there is beyond you. You would’ve let her know and what follows will be her responsibility.

As for yourself, take some “Me time” and cut him out of your life completely. Go to a spa or do whatever you need to make yourself feel good to move on from this guy.

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“Jaw With John” – Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhhhh

My fiance and I have been together for five years. We have a son who is almost 2 years old. We have always talked about having at least one more baby.

My sister-in-law got pregnant (she’ll be having a boy), so I didn’t want to get pregnant and take the spotlight off her first pregnancy. I wanted her time to be special and threw a baby shower for her.

Yesterday my pregnant sister-in-law and I spent the whole day together, and I helped her set up her nursery. Last night I went home and I told my fiance about my day and then we got to talking about having another baby. We asked our son if he wanted a sibling and he said yes. (I know he probably doesn’t know what we are talking about.)

Would it be wrong of me to start trying to get pregnant? We want to give my sister-in-law her time to shine, but helping her yesterday made me realize how badly I wanted another baby. — Lady with Baby Blues

Dear Lady:

No, it wouldn’t be wrong. If you were pregnant at the same time it’d be a little like Father of the Bride Part II where Diane Keaton and Kimberly Williams were pregnant at the same time … minus the Martin Short hijinks. Even if you were to get pregnant right now you would still have few months of a buffer between you and your sister-in-law. You’re kind to let her have her moment in the sun but don’t let her stop you from adding to your family if you want to. I am sure she would be happy for you, and if she wasn’t then that’s her problem.

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