Tag Archives: Friends With Benefits

Dear John: Friend Wants More Benefits

During the last year, a female friend of mine has started suggesting that she wants more from our relationship than just a friendship. She has had a history of doing this whenever she becomes friends with a guy.

When she started sending me pictures that became more and more suggestive, I decided to distance myself from her. But in the last month, she has been getting increasingly bold with her advances. How do I handle this without hurting her? — FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE IN IOWA

Dear Friend,

She wants what she can’t have and in this instance that is you! She sounds like the kind of person who is in to the “thrill of the hunt”, if you will. But you, you want nothing to do with her. Are you sure you want nothing to do with her? I mean, are the photos nice? Asking for a friend. If you don’t want anything to do with her or her advances you need to put your foot down and tell her directly “Listen Karen, I appreciate our friendship but I am not interested in taking things further.” If she ignores your words and presses on, then you get to running and run as far away as your legs can take you!

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“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Has Lived In Cougar Town

“I found out a while ago that my boyfriend had a “friends with benefits” relationship with someone 16 years older.

The first time I heard about it I ignored him for a day. Didn’t acknowledge him, didn’t talk to him and felt disgusted by him.

I know guys have stupid, weird and crazy fantasies about older women. I finally got over it because I realized how much I love him.

This topic came up again the other day while we were having dinner with one of my friends. I told my boyfriend out loud how disgusting it was. That woman was almost old enough to be his mom! He said he liked it because she had “the body of an 18-year-old.”

Somehow I sense a little pride in what he did and I want to puke. We haven’t talked further about this because I know it will just turn into a bigger fight. Why did he do this? Should I just try never to think of it again? — Disgusted

Dear Disgusted:

As long as he was of age then there is nothing wrong with what he did. I am pretty sure most straight guys have had a cougar fantasy at some point in their life. C’mon, Stifler’s Mom? Those type of women exist. Trust me. Your disgust is a personal preference but if the gender roles were reversed, with a Sugar Daddy perhaps?, would you feel the same?

You sound jealous and bit butthurt. He has moved on from that relationship and has now found something, I would assume, special with you. I suggest you should do the same.

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