“I invited a friend and her family (husband and two children) to vacation with us at my parents’ home this summer.
My parents were willing to host all of us (four adults and four children) in their home.
While at a party at my friend’s home, one guest, a friend of hers, commented that our summer plans sounded like fun. In response, my friend invited her friend and two children to my parents’ home for this trip.
My friend turned to me, in front of her friend and others, and asked if it was OK that they join us.
I felt as if I were backed into a corner and had to be amenable to the invitation or risk upsetting and/or angering someone.
I told my parents about the recent development and they were quite upset that my friend invited others to their home without consulting them.
Including my parents, there will be 13 people staying at my parents’ home for five nights. My parents are older and I cannot expect them to feed all of these guests, invited or not, during their stay.
I am not sure how to handle this situation without upsetting or angering anyone.
I want to put stipulations upon the visit, for instance, guests provide their own food, beverages, linens, etc., for their stay, but how? — Taken Advantage Of”
Dear Taken:
“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”
Sorry, I had to. I mean, you responded with “Taken” so I ran with it…
But seriously, this is all on you. You could’ve easily taken the reins and said “I’m sorry but the house is already full enough as it is.” But you didn’t and now you need to go over to this friend of hers and tell her that she is no longer invited. For future reference: grow a pair.
You can say “I talked it over with my parents and while they would enjoy your company it would be too many people under one roof for them to accommodate.” In this situation you cannot be concerned with angering people since it’s not just you who is affected by the situation. It just needs to be done.
The friend you originally invited is also a bad guest. She thought that since she was going that she could invite anyone she wanted. That’s just poor etiquette.