Tag Archives: JWJ

12/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Delivery Guy Needs To Be Returned To Sender

“There is a particular truck driver who delivers to our place of business. He has always been flirty to all the girls, especially with me, even though he has a girlfriend.

He said he would help me find a job as a driver, so he took me out with him on the truck so I could see if I would like it. He said he’d speak with his girlfriend to see if he could give me a refresher course. (I would pay him for this.)

Just before the course started, he told his girlfriend that I just broke up with my loser boyfriend. After that he said he would only help me professionally and that the only woman he is interested in is his girlfriend.

I know I read more into his flirting than I should have, but when someone is that friendly, you don’t know what to think.

Doesn’t he know I broke up with my boyfriend because of him? What should I do now — should I keep chasing him, in the hopes that he will leave her for me? — Undelivered”

Dear Undelivered:

You knew he had a girlfriend. You knew he was being flirty and not serious. You knew he flirted with other girls in your office. You knew, you knew, you knew. What did you expect would happen?

You broke up with your boyfriend for a delivery guy? A delivery guy? That’s not a slight toward delivery guys because I was (partially) a delivery guy. Part of the job is to be nice and friendly with everyone, although, not everyone succeeds. You do realize that he does that to every business he visits. What makes you so special?

He’s not going to leave his girlfriend but you need to leave his hip and find someone who is ACTUALLY AVAILABLE!

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11/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Littering And Littering And Littering And His New Girlfriend

“Last year my adult son and his girlfriend lived with us for several months. This girl and I became fast friends. When they broke up, it broke both our hearts. We have stayed friends but don’t really communicate much.

Since then, my son has met a wonderful girl and they have their own place. She is smart, sweet and kind, and I love her, but whenever I think of her and my son, I always think “son and ex-girlfriend’s name.” I have to focus before I speak to her, or about her, and I’m terribly afraid the other girl’s name is going to spill out of my mouth.

Do you have any suggestions how I can get this other girl’s name out of my head? — Tripping Over My Tongue”

Dear Tripping:

What do you mean “Do you have any suggestions”? How can you not see what to do?

Just practice saying the new girl’s name, along with your sons, over and over again. Duh. Take a cue from the Super Troopers clip below and say the pair together.

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10/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Can’t Toke Up Around You

“I am in a predicament. I have a good new friend who is having a birthday party he very much wants me to attend. The problem is that he has informed me that the party will be “alcohol and 420 friendly.”

I don’t have issues with the alcohol, and I live in Washington state, where recreational marijuana is legal, so that is not the issue either.

My problem is that I have PTSD caused by an abusive stepfather who was a marijuana addict.

The very smell of pot smoke sends me into flashbacks and gives me jitters.

Should I attend this party and do my best to hold it together? If not, how can I tell my friend why I am not coming, without him feeling I am judging him? — Nervous in Washington”

Dear Nervous:

I can’t stand the smell of pot smoke either. It used to not bother me, when I would smoke, but after I stopped I realized that I just didn’t like the smell at all. It would be nauseating at times. That’s why edibles are the way to go.

They come in more than just brownies nowadays. You can find them in lollipops, Rice Krispie treats, cookies, chocolate etc. etc. etc. If those don’t bring out the same symptoms as the smoke then bring up the fact that you can’t be around pot smoke and see if the party can change. If not, then you might need professional help.

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09/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Marcellus Wallace Has Some Words For You

“Recently my good friend’s daughter and her husband had a baby who needed medical attention. They have hosted several in-person fundraisers, as well as ongoing online fundraisers.

Both parents have jobs that provide good insurance. I recently found out this young family is using funds to pay their rent and buy new and expensive things — all unrelated to their child.

I find this heartbreaking to everyone concerned. Their child is scheduled to leave the hospital now, yet nothing has been updated online and the fundraising continues. After hearing this (verified) information I do not want to participate. What now? — Disheartened”

Dear Disheartened:

I would argue that paying rent is related to their child. But that’s just semantics.

As for “What now? Let me tell you what now. I’m gonna call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin’ –” wait, never mind, that Marcellus Wallace quote doesn’t really apply here so I’ll cut to the chase.

Don’t give them money. That’s what you do now.

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07/03/2015
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“Jaw With John” – When It’s Time To Party, Party Hard … In Moderation

“My friend and I were always the party girls in our group, always up for a good time, drinking and dancing until the sun came up. I treasured the close bond we shared and our fun, carefree lifestyle.

I recently became pregnant and my husband and I are thrilled. My party-girl lifestyle has dramatically altered. Although my aforementioned friend is very excited for us, I’m having trouble with her and the lifestyle I used to enjoy.

Every time we go out my friend has numerous cocktails and beers, and the increasing intoxication makes it difficult to have a conversation. If she has gone out the night before, she is hung over and unreliable. I am beginning not to want to spend time with her because I do not like her behavior and attitude.

In a few months we have a planned beach vacation and I am torn. Part of me wants to cancel, simply because I do not want to spend several days watching her get drunk and putting up with her antics. Another part of me understands that I, just a few months ago, was this person as well, whether I like to see the behavior or not. I understand that pregnancy and child-rearing change relationships and perhaps my friend is struggling. I am worried that talking to her about it will start a fight, but keeping it in doesn’t work. What should I do? — Pregnant and Confused“

Dear Pregnant:

Are you sure you’re not just reliving some key scenes from Knocked Up?

Your friend clearly hasn’t fully adjusted to your new lifestyle and neither have you. Having a kid is a little bit like graduating from college. You partied for four years and then all of a sudden you can’t anymore and you need to join the real world. It’ll take some time to adjust and learn what you can and cannot continue to do but it will happen. 

You want to spend time with your friend but you can’t do what you’ve been doing. Find new activities to partake in that aren’t booze-related. That should have a trickle down effect and lead to a new dynamic. Don’t get me wrong, you can still party hard every now and then (after the child is born), it just needs to be in moderation. A good lesson for your friend to learn for the future.

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