Tag Archives: JWJ

12/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wrap Your Head Around This

“My mother-in-law frequently orders birthday and holiday gifts for my family online, has them delivered directly to our house and then expects me to wrap them.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful — I really do appreciate that she cares enough to buy nice presents for our family. But I have three kids, a full-time job and many other obligations, and the time spent wrapping her gifts adds up.

I totally get why she wouldn’t want to have the items shipped to her, only to wrap them and pay shipping again to send them to us. However, I think if the situation were reversed, I might pay for gift wrapping when placing the order — or at least ask first whether she had the time to take care of it. Am I being an unappreciative grump? — Wrap-proachful”

Dear Wrap-proachful:

I like the play on words you did with your name. Cute.

How many gifts is she sending? Is it really too much of your time to wrap a few of them?

I view two options here for you. Option 1: Ask your mother-in-law to have them wrapped by the company she bought them from. That way they will arrive at your house already wrapped.

Option 2: Open them up, remove any receipt and then wrap the box that it came in. I do that A LOT. It saves me from having to wrap an oddly shaped item unsuccessfully to wrapping a box unsuccessfully.

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06/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – He’s Got You By The Ovaries

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for six years. He is 26 and I am 23. We live together and share everything. We have talked about marriage and kids many times, but we seem to have different opinions. He says we might get married, but then he changes his mind.

He sees us as pretty much “married” already (but without legal documentation) and he’s worried about our financial status if we get married. He says he’ll feel really old if we get married and that he wants to “experience life” before he gives it up for a kid.

I told him if he ever asked me to marry him I would say yes and if he wanted kids I would have them. I don’t want to push him away, but I want to be bound to him legally and religiously.

For now, we are relying on his parents financially. I just want to know for sure if we’ll take things to the next level. If not, I will stay with him regardless, I guess. How should I approach this? — Confused”

Dear Confused:

So, lemme get this straight, you’ve been dating since you were 17 and he was 20? … Was that legal? Or did you Age of Extinction me and find out about Romeo & Juliet laws? Either way, I digress.

Your boyfriend talks about feeling “really old” when he gets married (NEWSFLASH: it means you’re getting older when you get married!) and wanting to “experience life” (Sounds like he doesn’t want to be tied down, maybe he’s got something on the side?) before all of that and it makes me believe that he really doesn’t want to get married or have kids at all. He has said he doesn’t want them any time soon but you two are far too young to be getting married, having kids, living on your own etc. and given that you are still looking to his parents for financial help … I don’t think marriage or a baby is right for you. Pump the brakes on the ol’ baby-maker.

Whoa whoa whoa. I just noticed something else: You want this relationship to go to the next level but you’re willing to stick with the status quo regardless … You’re a tough one to crack. You want marriage and a baby, but only if he does. You don’t want to push him away, but you can’t leave him. He seems to have you by the (female version of) balls (ovaries?). He knows what you want but won’t give in. You’re trapped in this relationship and you need to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you want and then tell your boyfriend how you’re feeling. Only then can you move forward.

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04/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – I’ve Smelled Worse

“A few days ago I was at the airport gate waiting for our departure when a woman with a bag from a fast-food place came up and sat in our midst. She pulled out her burger and fries and ate them, then got up and left the area. (I couldn’t see if she went to her gate or found another seat.)

I exchanged looks with a couple of the other people waiting, as we all were aware of her aromatic meal.

Likewise, movie theaters now sell pizza and nachos in addition to popcorn, and the smell of some of this stuff is nauseating, especially if one hasn’t eaten in a while and doesn’t indulge in greasy fried foods. Is there a nice way to ask someone to eat somewhere else, or is this another convention that we simply have to live with? — Peter”

Dear Peter:

Way to go with using your, supposedly, real name dude.

If you don’t like the smell then you can move. Unless it’s a designated “No Eating” area then you have no beef here. See what I did there? And please, stop trying to be all high and mighty by saying you don’t “indulge in greasy fried foods.” You’re not better than me or anyone else who does. Bringing it up only makes you look like a twat.

It’s a public space, the woman has the right to eat what she wants, where she wants. I am willing to bet that the eating area was fully occupied so she was just looking for a place to sit and eat before her flight. And she found one near you. Also, you “exchanged looks”? What the [expletive deleted] does that mean? Congratulations, your collective noses work. It’s not like she whipped out a day-old tuna and started cutting it up. It was a burger and fries. Chillax.

As for movie theatres, again, if you don’t like the smell then move. I have seen people bring in Chinese food and when they open that Styrofoam container I smell it and go “Gah, that’s not what I want to smell!” So what do I do? I bear it, because I know that it will only last a few minutes. Then I stuff my face with popcorn. Asking someone to sit somewhere else because you are bothered by its smell is a dick move. You wouldn’t do that at a restaurant would you? Um, excuse me, Miss, could you eat your Bloomin’ Onion at another table? The smell is bothering me. No! That would NEVER happen! Suck it up for a few minutes. You’ll survive.

 

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