Tag Archives: JWJ

12/03/2017
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – A Potential One That Got Away Shouldn’t Anchor You Down

“I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Until recently, we were inseparable and I loved his company. I got a job that required me to temporarily relocate and be on my own, so we saw each other only every other week. During that time, I gained a better understanding of who I am and how I want to spend my time.

Since then, I have realized that my boyfriend and I may not be as compatible as I once thought. We discussed it, and he’s willing to do anything to make it work. But some things can’t be changed, such as his interests and small quirks he has. I’m having a hard time because I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be “the one that got away.” Any advice would be appreciated. — LOOKING FOR THE ONE”

Dear Looking,

It looks as though absence did not make your heart grow fonder.

You’ve had the opportunity to take a step back and examine things from a far. And from that distance, you’ve seen that maybe this thing you thought was a well-oiled machine was in fact being held together by duct tape and bubble gum.

You shouldn’t be with someone because they may end up being “the one that got away.” That’s not fair to you or your boyfriend. It would be cheating you and him out of potential happiness somewhere else. It sounds like it’s time to let him go and let him find someone who shares his interests and enjoys his quirks.

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11/03/2017
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – College Student To Be Needs A Wake Up Call

“My son “Jake” is headed to college in the fall, and I want his last year at home to be memorable and happy. He’s a good student and has been admitted to the college of his choice. The problem is, he can’t wake himself up in the morning. He switches off the alarm and goes back to sleep. I must go up to his room several times to wake him because he won’t get up the first time.

Jake is otherwise independent. He does his own laundry and keeps his room spotless. I’m spending a large part of my savings on his tuition, and I’m worried that unless he can wake himself in the mornings, he won’t get to classes on time.

I have tried talking to him about putting the alarm on “snooze” instead of turning it off, but nothing works. My husband suggests we pour a glass of cold water on Jake’s face 10 minutes after the alarm goes off. Can you help us solve this problem? — UP ALREADY IN NEW JERSEY”

Dear Up,

You need to hit the snooze yourself.

He needs to learn to get up on his own. I assume that at this point he drives himself, or is in a carpool, for school, so, if he continually wakes up late and gets to school late then that’s on him. He’ll learn VERY quickly to get up with his alarm. Which will then prepare him for college life and being accountable.

You need to tell him that there isn’t going to be a “wake up call” if he ignores his alarm once he’s away at school anymore. You also need to tell him that this is a huge financial undertaking for you and your husband and he needs to take it seriously.

Listen, in college he might not have any early morning classes. He could very well choose courses that only happen in the late morning/early afternoon. It’s entirely possible that he could still turn off his alarm but still get to class on time. But, that’s probably not going to happen. Everyone has at least one 8am class during their four years. He needs to understand the implications if he does snooze through class.

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21/02/2017
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Gym Routine Thrown For A Loop: How To Deal

“For the past five years, I have been using the (very small!) exercise room in my apartment complex every day after work. It’s an important part of my routine. A couple of weeks ago, a new girl started coming into the exercise room shortly after I start my workout (it’s a little crowded, but no problem).

Last week, she started coming in just a few minutes before I get there. She puts her TV show on (very loudly), uses the machine I always use, and when I walk in at my usual time, I must use an old machine I don’t like and watch her horrible show.

I have lived here longer and feel I have earned my time in the gym, and she is being sneaky by coming in just before I do. I cannot come in earlier since I get there as soon as I get off work.

I’m tempted to exert my seniority! I feel wronged, even though I know it’s not my personal gym. Is there anything I can do when I feel snubbed like this? — Worked Up (Not Out) In Ohio”

Dear Worked Up,

I’ll refer you to the adage of “First Come, First Served”. Meaning, obviously, that whoever gets there first gets to decide what machine they use and what is watched on the TV. Get there earlier and you’ll be able to work out how you want. Or go at a different time altogether! Otherwise, you’re SOL and need to suck it up.

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12/02/2017
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Someone Call The Grammar Police!

“Many times, my co-workers make grammatical and punctuation errors in emails they send (both internal and external) or misuse words on conference calls. Is it in bad taste to mention to the individuals their misuse of the word “there” versus “their” or “your” versus “you’re”? One of the most common spoken grammatical mistakes is, “I seen it” instead of “I’ve seen” or “I saw.” I am not sure if they would appreciate knowing they are misusing words or if they might become offended. — Helpful In Florida”

Dear Helpful,

My gut reaction feels your pain and wants you to let everyone know the difference because it also drives me nuts when I see this happen. It’s especially annoying, and a turn off, when I see someone I’m romantically interested in misuse the words.

In my previous place of work, I used to have fantasies of walking up to a whiteboard in a meeting and going into grammatical detail as to why those words were wrong. I would call out people regardless of position (me being a pretty low rung on the corporate ladder) and explain to them how it looks bad to see “isle” (like Gilligan’s) instead of “aisle” and the ones you mentioned too. But they were just that, fantasies.

I recommend talking to those who make the mistakes one-on-one and tell them how to fix their mistake. But if you harp on it because they still make the same mistakes then you’ll come out looking like the bad guy. Remember, you can’t fix stupid.

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10/02/2017
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Helicopter Mom Needs To Exit The Exam Room

“I am the mom of two sons, ages 13 and 14. When I took them for their annual physical last summer, their pediatrician said this would be the last year I would be in the room while he examined my sons.

I don’t understand why I should have to leave if my children are OK with my being there. My sons are comfortable with me, and I am an only parent. It seems to me that more and more rights are being taken away from parents. Am I out of line for feeling this way? — Exam Room Off-Limits”

Dear Off-Limits,

Beacausssseeeee your boys are at the age where their bodies are changing and they are experiencing new things, and hormones, and giving themselves the five-fingered-discount *if you know what I mean*.

But you seem to be a bit of a helicopter parent here so I’ll tell you this: Kids need space.

Kids need space especially when it comes to their changing bodies. I’m sure they have questions about their changing bodies that they would feel more comfortable asking a doctor WITHOUT THEIR MOTHER PRESENT! It’s uncomfortable enough watching The Thomas Crown Affair and then watching the crazy-passionate love scene with your mom. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to have you in the room and your sons asking questions about sex, masturbation, etc that you really don’t want to hear…it’s time to find a Highlights magazine and sit in the waiting room.

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