Tag Archives: Maid of Honor

29/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wedding Bells Are Wringing Your Wallet

“My best friend (I have known her for 40 years) is getting married for the third time. I was maid of honor at her first wedding and showered her with some very nice gifts at that time.

That marriage lasted two years. She got married the second time. Again, I gave her very nice gifts, both monetary and items from her registry. That marriage lasted 20 years.

Now, she is marrying a guy she knew in grammar school and reconnected with on Facebook.

My family of three is attending this third reception. They are having a dinner in a country club with dancing and a photo booth.

What would be an appropriate gift? My husband is not fond of my friend and feels we should not give a generous gift.

What is your opinion? — Hope Third Time is the Charm!”

Dear Hope:

Why are you telling me they have a photo booth? This doesn’t help me make my decision. In fact, it doesn’t even influence my decision. Give her the cheapest thing on her registry, it’s as easy as that. I don’t know why this is such a dilemma since your husband, and I’m guessing you too, feel that she has received enough lavish gifts from you. KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

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06/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Drunk at the wedding, what else is new?

“My husband and I were married last year, and it truly was the best day of our lives.

The only problem was my maid of honor. She was very controlling, pestered me about details that I did not care about and tried to schedule every second of the whole weekend.

I ended up being quite blunt. Between the ceremony and reception, while my husband and I were getting our photos taken, she got extremely intoxicated.

She was a disaster during group photos and proceeded to get intoxicated to the point where the wait staff cut her off. Her speech was a blubbering mess and she bawled through the entire reception.

She was my best friend prior to this. I feel a tremendous sense of loss at the change in our relationship and am having trouble coping. We have discussed it since, and she blames me for being mean to her prior to the wedding, however, I don’t think that excuses her behavior.

She has left a dark cloud over my memory of my wedding day and I am having a hard time forgiving her. How can I get past this? — Newlywed”

Dear Newlywed:

As my understanding of weddings go, the Maid of Honor is supposed to be on top of what is going on and to possibly take things off your (the bride’s) plate so you can focus on your wedding. She sounds like she was just trying to make your special day easier and as efficient as possible.

Did you ever think that maybe she was a “blubbering mess” and crying throughout the reception because she was losing her best friend? It was clearly an emotional time for her and it sounds like you misread the signs and she coped by drinking – which, by the way, how did she get so drunk in between the ceremony and the photo taking? That’s maybe a 30-40 minute window… Kudos to her then for partying hard and maximizing her time. Furthermore, where was her date to take care of her!? Or maybe the Best Man!? But, you also don’t deny that you were mean to her prior to the wedding. No, it doesn’t excuse her reactions but shunning her was the wrong course of action.

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