Tag Archives: marriage

05/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Many Marriages Maketh The Man

“Many years ago, my first wife’s father died suddenly. My wife totally changed and this led to a divorce.

In my marriages that followed (and there were several), something unexpected arose, unraveling the relationships. I ask myself, “Was it just bad luck or poor judgment?”

I have been married to a wonderful woman for the last 32 years (no more surprises!). I have been a great husband and she is happy.

Yet in discussions about relationships within her family, people actually have had the nerve to say, “And how many times have you been married?” Although most of my marriages were at an early age, I am still held accountable for those failures.

How do I rid myself of the stigma I carry? — Tired of Taking It”

Dear Tired:

You gotta own it bro. That’s the only way you can move on, which you have since you’ve been married for 32 years. Be self-deprecating when it’s brought up. If done right, it can be funny and add levity to the whole situation and will help you move on. It will also show others that you’re not your past marriages and could lead to them not bringing it up again.

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25/02/2015
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“Jaw With John” – Jack & Jill Went Up The Hill And Jill Kicked Him In The Nuts And Stole His Money And Ran Away, Possibly

“My friend “Jack” recently got engaged to “Jill.” Jack and I have been friends literally since before we could walk.

Jill is 26, and this will be her third marriage. Both previous marriages ended with her having affairs. She also has a history of doing drugs and stealing. She has stolen from me, my family and Jack’s family. She has stolen medication, money, you name it.

Jack insists that she is “doing better,” that she has recovered from her mistakes and would never do things like that now. Jill has never apologized for her actions and blames everything she did on her previous husbands.

I worry for Jack but he brushes off my concerns. Jill has made it clear she won’t let me be around Jack unless I allow her to be present. Recently she has started mocking and insulting me.

Should I keep trying to express my worries that this will only end in tears for my friend, or should I back off, let him do as he wants and prepare to help him clean up the mess? — Worried and Wounded”

Dear Worried:

You know what they say: Third time’s a charm!

Jack is a Grown Ass Man. He can handle himself juuuuuuuust fine. As for Jill, time will tell if she has learned the error of her ways or if she is just a sociopathic leech. You need to step back and let Jack figure this one out on his own. If he gets burned, then so be it.

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06/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – He’s Got You By The Ovaries

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for six years. He is 26 and I am 23. We live together and share everything. We have talked about marriage and kids many times, but we seem to have different opinions. He says we might get married, but then he changes his mind.

He sees us as pretty much “married” already (but without legal documentation) and he’s worried about our financial status if we get married. He says he’ll feel really old if we get married and that he wants to “experience life” before he gives it up for a kid.

I told him if he ever asked me to marry him I would say yes and if he wanted kids I would have them. I don’t want to push him away, but I want to be bound to him legally and religiously.

For now, we are relying on his parents financially. I just want to know for sure if we’ll take things to the next level. If not, I will stay with him regardless, I guess. How should I approach this? — Confused”

Dear Confused:

So, lemme get this straight, you’ve been dating since you were 17 and he was 20? … Was that legal? Or did you Age of Extinction me and find out about Romeo & Juliet laws? Either way, I digress.

Your boyfriend talks about feeling “really old” when he gets married (NEWSFLASH: it means you’re getting older when you get married!) and wanting to “experience life” (Sounds like he doesn’t want to be tied down, maybe he’s got something on the side?) before all of that and it makes me believe that he really doesn’t want to get married or have kids at all. He has said he doesn’t want them any time soon but you two are far too young to be getting married, having kids, living on your own etc. and given that you are still looking to his parents for financial help … I don’t think marriage or a baby is right for you. Pump the brakes on the ol’ baby-maker.

Whoa whoa whoa. I just noticed something else: You want this relationship to go to the next level but you’re willing to stick with the status quo regardless … You’re a tough one to crack. You want marriage and a baby, but only if he does. You don’t want to push him away, but you can’t leave him. He seems to have you by the (female version of) balls (ovaries?). He knows what you want but won’t give in. You’re trapped in this relationship and you need to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you want and then tell your boyfriend how you’re feeling. Only then can you move forward.

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26/01/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Ugh, Her Parties Suck

“Please update us on current customs, etiquette and hospitality.

My husband and I have a younger friend, “Laura.” She is a psychologist in private practice and a yoga instructor on the weekends.When she had her 35th birthday at a local bar/party room she told everyone to “order lots of food and drink.” We had a can of Sprite and a small bag of potato chips and left early. The next day Laura asked why we left without paying for our refreshments and share of the room rent.

For her 37th birthday, she solicited donations to pay off her student loan. At her 39th birthday party, she had a “smile table” for guests to pay for her dental work (I skipped parties on other years).

Now we are invited to her “wedding.” She was married last year. They are having a reception with “light snacks” on their first anniversary. On the invitation they requested contributions for fertility testing and an IVF procedure.

My husband and I like to help others. We have willingly given Laura thousands of dollars over the years. I’m a retired nurse and volunteer many hours caring for homeless people.

Should we start saving for their eventual down payment on a house? — Bewildered in Seattle”

Dear Bewildered:

This girl just want people to finance her lifestyle. Don’t give in. You’ve already given more than enough. She is at the point in her life where she needs to be doing things herself and stop asking others.

There is clearly a pattern for soliciting money. She encourages people to “order lots of food and drink” and then gets mad when you don’t pay for your soda and chips? I’m willing to bet that there were some party-goers who did as they were told and when the bill came for them they must’ve been surprised because she made it sound like she was going to pay for it all. This is the kind of person who would divide up the check evenly amongst an entire group of people even though some people’s meals were significantly less. Those people annoy me.

Break the pattern. Wish her well in her marriage and leave it at that.

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08/01/2015
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“Jaw With John” – I Ain’t Saying She A Gold Digger, But She Ain’t Messing With…

“I’ve been married for two weeks and frankly I hate my wife. She is completely lazy and pays absolutely no attention to me.

She was so nice when we were dating, but it was probably all just for show.

I come from a “richer type of family” and she comes from a “moderate to low-income family.”

I feel kind of bad for her, but she is so pestering and obnoxious and she probably just married me for my money.

I can’t divorce her because we have a legal document stating that I must give her $70,000 if we separate or divorce, and I’m not that rich. When I signed the document, I figured that by the time we did divorce, if we divorced, I would have that type of money (from growing investments).

My parents are completely NOT on my side. They keep telling me that it’s my fault (which I agree to some extent) and refuse to get involved. — Bad Choice Maker”

Dear Bad Choice:

Two weeks!? You’re telling me that she didn’t exhibit ANY of these tendencies while you were dating? I think you just misread the signs here dude. Which leads me to believe that you were thinking with your other head in this instance. Or you’re just that dumb. Your parents are right to stay out of this mess. YOU are solely responsible for this entire situation.

If things don’t change within a few months and you still resent her, and let’s face it you seem to despise her on a cellular level, then I say pay the $70,000 and GTFO.

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