Tag Archives: marriage

29/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wedding Bells Are Wringing Your Wallet

“My best friend (I have known her for 40 years) is getting married for the third time. I was maid of honor at her first wedding and showered her with some very nice gifts at that time.

That marriage lasted two years. She got married the second time. Again, I gave her very nice gifts, both monetary and items from her registry. That marriage lasted 20 years.

Now, she is marrying a guy she knew in grammar school and reconnected with on Facebook.

My family of three is attending this third reception. They are having a dinner in a country club with dancing and a photo booth.

What would be an appropriate gift? My husband is not fond of my friend and feels we should not give a generous gift.

What is your opinion? — Hope Third Time is the Charm!”

Dear Hope:

Why are you telling me they have a photo booth? This doesn’t help me make my decision. In fact, it doesn’t even influence my decision. Give her the cheapest thing on her registry, it’s as easy as that. I don’t know why this is such a dilemma since your husband, and I’m guessing you too, feel that she has received enough lavish gifts from you. KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

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28/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Drunk Texts Should Be Returned To Sender

“I need your perspective.

My wife and I have been married for 35 years, and even though she is rarely interested in me, I don’t think she has ever been physically unfaithful. But ever since the technology has become available she has been a drunk texter. For a long time she denied it, but she finally admitted that she was sending “flirty, silly” messages to male friends of ours. Even though I told her I thought it was inappropriate and disrespectful, she insisted it was just harmless fun.

Then she received a text one night after she was asleep. I tried to ignore it, but her phone kept beeping every five minutes. So I finally got her phone out of her purse and pushed the OK button to make it stop. I didn’t read the message or anything.

The next day when she saw she had a missed text, she became unglued. She yelled at me, accusing me of reading her texts and checking her call log. When I explained what really happened, she called me a liar. That’s when I began wondering what was in there that she was so worried I would see. She claimed there was nothing, that it was just a privacy issue. So then I called her a liar and we had an ongoing dispute for a week with both of us saying a lot of mean things.

Fortunately we have mostly gotten past it, but I can’t stop wondering what was in her phone that day. I contend there should not be anything in there that her spouse could not see. And she continues to insist there isn’t and that it is just a privacy issue. What do you think? — Hurt and Confused”

Dear Confused:

Whoa whoa whoa! “Even though she is rarely interested in me”??? Did you hear yourself there? I don’t think your wife loves you dude. I’ve drunk texted many times before. Sometimes these things have been as harmless as telling someone where I was. Other times they’ve been videos of me talking to my phone telling myself how drunk I am at that moment. It’s a mixed bag. But it can be dangerous and in this instance, it sounds as such.

This issue though goes BEYOND privacy and straight into possibly being unfaithful. What she is doing is not “harmless”, as she claims, since it is causing you to question your wife’s fidelity. You said it yourself that she’s not interested in you and you sound just interested enough to try and keep her around when you probably shouldn’t.

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11/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – You Can’t Walk Over Burned Bridges

“I was married over 40 years. My ex-wife and I had numerous problems throughout our marriage. I left several times but always went back. The last time I left, I filed for divorce.

It’s been a few years and I am starting to miss her. We talk briefly every once in a while, mostly because of our grandchildren.

I am currently living with a divorced woman. We get along great but never talked of marriage.

Lately my live-in mentioned getting married. It has hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want to. I want to go back to my ex. I don’t know if she’ll take me back. If my current relationship falls apart, I have no place to go, but I don’t care.

I don’t know how to go about talking to my ex about going back to her. I don’t even know if she will take me back.

I am currently not seeing a psychiatrist, though I have in the past and will probably do so again. — Torn”

Dear Torn:

You left, now you want to go back? People always want what they can’t have. This is one of those situations.

You have a history of coming and going soooooo I doubt your ex-wife will listen to you or want you back. Just a shot in the dark there.

As for your current live-in, you need to tell her up front what you want out of this relationship. If she leaves and you have no place to go you said you’d be fine? Uhh, what? I don’t think you know exactly what you want.

You’re scared shitless that your live-in wants to tie you down and you want to run back to what you know and are comfortable with. CTFO, take some “me time” and figure out what you want.

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11/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – In This Situation: GTFO

“I have two friends who happen to be cousins to each other — “Carmen” and “Angela.” Angela has been dating her boyfriend, “Jose,” for about three years. She talks about marriage.

I don’t think he’s a good guy but I don’t know if I should tell her. He has cheated on Angela with her cousin Carmen. He even spent a whole weekend with Carmen when Angela was away.

I wish Carmen hadn’t told me this. She has put me between a rock and a hard place. I’ve reprimanded her many times and have made sure she never talks to him again (as far as I know).

I’ve asked Carmen to come clean with Angela but she is afraid to. She feels bad about what she did, and no longer talks to Jose. She ignores his messages and calls.

I feel that if Jose did this to Angela with her own cousin, he might be cheating on her with other girls. Angela has had suspicions but always believes him.

I don’t know what to do. Angela does not deserve this but Carmen is my friend, and I would have to out her if I let Angela know about what happened. Also there might be a big family feud over this. What should I do? — Desperate to be a Good Friend”

Dear Desperate:

I’ll refer you to something Terry Benedict told Rusty & Danny Ocean’s gang of 11:

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