Tag Archives: nephew

16/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Needy Nephew Needs Nothing

“Our nephew is graduating soon and he has sent family members letters asking for money for a trip he would like to take. His father is a multimillionaire and can more than afford to fund the trip.

I find it very rude. Is our nephew wrong for begging from family?

There have been no discussions whatsoever about gifts — he just slammed the family with this request.

My brother should be ashamed of himself for allowing his son to do this. It would be a little different if he had said, “If anyone is wondering what I might like …” (or something to that effect), instead of just assuming everyone was planning to give him something.

He just said he wanted to go on a trip and asked if we could help. — Frustrated at Brother”

Dear Frustrated:

It’s February, how is he “graduating soon”? Most schools graduate in May or June. Also, is he of High School age or College age? Because if he’s trying to bridge the gap between High School and College then he should just be like everyone else and get a Summer job instead of, presumably, wanting to backpack across Europe. If he’s graduating from College then perhaps he has earned a bit of a vacation but he was most definitely wrong for asking for money for a trip outright.

There is no reason to be openly mad at your brother because he has not attached his name to this request. Since you feel strongly about this, tell your nephew “No”. It can be a valuable lesson for him in the future about how to approach asking for things. Or he’ll just run to Daddy Warbucks and get the money from him.

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20/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Auntie’s Offspring Have Been Busy

“At 88 years of age, I am the last remaining child of a family of nine children. My health is fair, and my income is sufficient.

My problem is that I have 35 nieces and nephews (all in another state) who are starting to marry. They are kindly extending invitations to me. I have sent a financial gift to four weddings, but if I continue at this pace I’ll be broke.

How do I stop this “graciously”? They do love their aunt. — Auntie Em, The Great”

Dear Auntie:

35!? Daaaaaaaayummmmm, your family knows how to procreate. I’d suggest finding the cheapest thing on their registry and buying that OR just giving them a memento from your family. And if they just want money tell them that the way that you’re gifting money that you’ll have to move in with them at some point. That will give them a good scare and let them know that you can’t give them money anymore.

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16/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – There Are No Weddings in Baseball!!!

“My fiance and I are planning to get married over Memorial Day weekend. It’ll be a relatively small family-oriented affair — held in the same location as my father’s memorial last year.

My older sister is in my wedding party. She and her husband have been together most of my life (they married when I was 9 years old).

My sister informed me yesterday that her husband and my 12-year-old nephew may need to miss most of the festivities because he has a baseball tournament that weekend.

They also missed my father’s memorial for the same reason.

Amy, I understand that guests have other priorities, but I feel incredibly hurt that such a special occasion is being trumped by a baseball tournament. I feel it’s teaching my nephew skewed priorities. I come from a family of athletes; I understand juggling practice and playing with other priorities.

Should I address this directly or accept it? I don’t want to be an egocentric bride, but this hurts. Please share your perspective. — Disappointed Bride”

Dear Disappointed:

Let me get this straight – you chose one of the busiest weekends of the year to hold your wedding knowing that your nephew and brother-in-law missed your father’s memorial that same weekend the year before. You clearly knew that this was a possibility. I mean, they missed a memorial service over baseball…c’mon.

These types of tournaments are held throughout the year on various holiday weekends with various sports: soccer & Thanksgiving, basketball & Christmas, Football & New Year’s etc etc etc. You should know this since you, allegedly, come from “a family of athletes”.

I don’t believe that this is teaching your nephew to skew his priorities at all. He is obviously doing something that he loves and not doing it out of malice toward you, he’s 12. If you demand that they both be there then that’s a surefire way to make your nephew hate you. I believe you should address it but delicately. Mention that you’re disappointed that they might not be there (yeah, you said might, this could all change and everything could be fine) and hope that if they can make it that you’d obviously love to have them.

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