Tag Archives: relationship advice

16/02/2015
Leave a comment
Advice

“Jaw With John” – Mind The Gap

“I am a 54-year-old woman. I have been seeing a 28-year-old man for the past year.

Although I have confided in a couple close girlfriends and he has confided in his two brothers, he has asked me not to disclose this relationship to anyone else. I have respected his request to be on the down low.

I’ve been divorced for over 14 years and have three kids. I had no luck in the dating arena before I met him.

I have no desire for my kids or anyone else to know about this relationship, but I’m wondering: What do you think of a relationship where the age gap is so wide and the woman is older?

I think about it all the time. If same-sex relationships are no longer frowned upon by everyone, why does there still seem to be a problem accepting a relationship like mine?

I wonder what my future is with him, or if we have a future. Am I cheating myself? All I know is that he is brilliant, beautiful, very affectionate and giving emotionally to me. He is just the best overall person I have ever met.

Should I just relax about this relationship or am I just some stupid old lady?

I’d appreciate your comments and advice. — Middle-aged”

Dear Middle-Aged:

Watch the movie I Could Never Be Your Woman. It addresses many of your questions, in a cute and hilarious fashion I might add. People never seemed to bat an eye when older men show up with MUCH younger women. I mean, they have, but it is generally more acceptable tolerated more. Just look at Something’s Gotta Give or The First Wives Club: older man with a younger woman. Coincidentally they both starred Diane Keaton but that’s beside the point. Hell, even Anna Nicole Smith did it and people barely flinched (unless they were in that family).

You’re a grown woman and he’s a grown man capable of making his own decisions and he chose you. The obvious question here, if you do decide to keep this relationship going, is what happens when you are 70 and he’s 44 and you’re maybe thinking if slowing things down but he is still active? What happens then? Then, the age difference will catch up.

You also need to address if you want to continue to be his secret lover. At some point his friends/family will find out and so will yours and putting that off for too long could end up to bite you in the ass. Unless you are into that sort of thing…

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
06/02/2015
Leave a comment
Advice

“Jaw With John” – He’s Got You By The Ovaries

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for six years. He is 26 and I am 23. We live together and share everything. We have talked about marriage and kids many times, but we seem to have different opinions. He says we might get married, but then he changes his mind.

He sees us as pretty much “married” already (but without legal documentation) and he’s worried about our financial status if we get married. He says he’ll feel really old if we get married and that he wants to “experience life” before he gives it up for a kid.

I told him if he ever asked me to marry him I would say yes and if he wanted kids I would have them. I don’t want to push him away, but I want to be bound to him legally and religiously.

For now, we are relying on his parents financially. I just want to know for sure if we’ll take things to the next level. If not, I will stay with him regardless, I guess. How should I approach this? — Confused”

Dear Confused:

So, lemme get this straight, you’ve been dating since you were 17 and he was 20? … Was that legal? Or did you Age of Extinction me and find out about Romeo & Juliet laws? Either way, I digress.

Your boyfriend talks about feeling “really old” when he gets married (NEWSFLASH: it means you’re getting older when you get married!) and wanting to “experience life” (Sounds like he doesn’t want to be tied down, maybe he’s got something on the side?) before all of that and it makes me believe that he really doesn’t want to get married or have kids at all. He has said he doesn’t want them any time soon but you two are far too young to be getting married, having kids, living on your own etc. and given that you are still looking to his parents for financial help … I don’t think marriage or a baby is right for you. Pump the brakes on the ol’ baby-maker.

Whoa whoa whoa. I just noticed something else: You want this relationship to go to the next level but you’re willing to stick with the status quo regardless … You’re a tough one to crack. You want marriage and a baby, but only if he does. You don’t want to push him away, but you can’t leave him. He seems to have you by the (female version of) balls (ovaries?). He knows what you want but won’t give in. You’re trapped in this relationship and you need to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you want and then tell your boyfriend how you’re feeling. Only then can you move forward.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
03/02/2015
1 Comment
Advice

“Jaw With John” – All About Steve, Who Sucks

“I am a 56-year-old woman stuck in a once-good relationship that has turned stale and neglectful.

My partner “Steve” and I met 14 years ago during a rough time for both of us. (I was in a bad long-term relationship and he had just survived cancer.) We seemed to have so much in common and got along so well. Now he seems aloof and disinterested, sometimes spending nights away from home with no explanation.

I get so depressed about this that I could spend an entire day home in bed just thinking about it. I thought about asking his family for help, but I fear they wouldn’t be supportive.

Steve is a great provider. But I keep wondering: How can I get him to stay? How can I get him to stop walking away? Any advice? — Neglected”

Dear Neglected:

As soon as you said Steve I thought of The Waterboy and Bobby Boucher’s mom saying this: “[W]hile I’m sittin’ here all day with nobody to keep me company, except Steve?”

Except you don’t even have Steve to keep you company. Steve is gone and you’re stuck laying in bed saying “Woe is me!” Stop doing that! It’s not healthy! He’s dropping hints that he doesn’t want to be around you. Like, HUGE HINTS. Have you tried asking him upfront what his deal is? Regardless, I don’t think this is going to end well. He seems to be halfway completely out the door, literally. It’s best to confront him and see where this all ends. Maybe there’s a silver lining, maybe not, but you need to talk to him to find out.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
28/01/2015
Leave a comment
Advice

“Jaw With John” – Unfaithful Roommate Has Made His Bed

“I recently found out that my roommate cheated on his girlfriend with one of our co-workers. He did this two times!

When I confronted him about his unfaithfulness he was honest and forthcoming. He also told his girlfriend (who lives in another country) and she decided to stay with him and work things out.

However, he still hangs out with the “other woman” on a one-on-one basis and she comes over to the apartment and lies on his bed with him.

I told him this is wrong and unfair to his girlfriend. I don’t want to keep challenging him on this, but I’m not sure what else I can do. — Trying to Stay Loyal”

Dear Loyal:

He’s not going to change so why waste your breath? Let him reap what he sows when and if his actual girlfriend returns. You’ve done the honorable thing already in confronting him yet he has kept on doing what he’s been doing. Stop trying.

You can always give this “other woman” the stink eye or glare at her whenever she is over. You could try that…but that’s not going to change anything. She’s just as bad as he is. He’s living in a burning house but hasn’t smelled the smoke or felt the heat. He’s oblivious and should be left to burn.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
26/01/2015
Leave a comment
Advice

“Jaw With John” – Call Me, Maybe? Girl, Make It Definitely

“I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years. After our breakup, a friend, “Bob,” asked me out.

For the past two weeks, Bob and I have gone out multiple times and talked almost every day. He is very sweet and often compliments me.

We haven’t talked about any potential relationship, but it seems clear that he likes me.

Four days ago Bob and I went to get drinks and the movies, and his sister and her husband came along. I met them for the first time.

We all had a good time and I ended the night by telling Bob to call me when he wanted to see me again, but I haven’t heard from him. Now I am confused. I don’t want to call Bob since I told him to call me, but I’m afraid he will lose interest or think that I am uninterested.

What should I do? I genuinely like him and could see us having a relationship together. Do you think I’m moving too fast? — Single”

Dear Single:

If you like him, call or text him. He clearly likes you and the fact that you’re wondering why he hasn’t called you shows you like him too. Maybe he just got busy with work or life in general and has forgotten to call you. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened to someone before. Send him a quick message about the other day and how much fun you had and see what happens. But remember: be cool.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →