Tag Archives: The Simpsons

“Jaw With John” – Think Of The Children!

If a married woman answers the door wearing only a bath towel when her husband’s brother (who happens to be married to me) is at the door and her husband is not at home, is that appropriate?

She shows no regard for modesty. In her yard she will carelessly bend over in a loose-fitting tank top (bra-less, of course), not even trying to hold up the neck to spare those in her presence the view.

My husband and I have argued over this issue, and everyone knows my sentiments on this “misconduct.”

I feel this behavior is disrespectful to me. My husband should consider my feelings and honor me by telling her that this conduct is inappropriate. When I suggested that he tell her that her behavior is offensive and unwelcome, he became defensive and said that I was behaving jealously.

Am I crazy because I have a “problem” with this? — BS

Dear BS:

She sounds rather busty or else this wouldn’t be much of an issue.

She’s obviously very, very comfortable in her own skin and is willing to share it with the world. My concern here is that she’s not wearing a bra. Studies have shown that not wearing a bra could lead to back problems. You could slip some scoliosis literature under her door to send a message.

Or you could just outright tell her that she needs to cover up, but I do believe that you should be the one to her. If your husband were to do so it might not come out right and it could look as if he’s creeping on her/checking her out. She may then take that as a sign of flirtation and invitation to bed him OR she could call him a pervert and out him to her husband. She could do the same to you but it seems like she only plays for one team here.

And if those options are not your cup of tea, you could go all Helen Lovejoy:

 

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“Jaw With John” – Notice I No Longer Say Liberry Or Tomorrie

When I was in school, libraries were places where people went to read and study in a quiet environment. Librarians quickly squelched noisemakers with a “shush” and stern gaze.

I have recently begun frequenting local city and university libraries, as I am researching various issues related to starting a company. However, the noise level at these libraries, without exception, makes it virtually impossible for me to concentrate.

I’m sitting at a local branch of a city library. Children are running around talking loudly, and their parents respond in kind.

Staff members speak at a normal volume, making no effort to set an example for patrons. Other patrons answer cellphones at a normal volume. Not 10 feet from me, two people are talking loudly while using a public computer.

I recently went to a multistory library at a local university. Two floors were designated “Quiet Zones.” The entire library should be a quiet zone!

Whenever I ask people to please be quiet, they react like I am crazy to expect quiet in a library.

Am I crazy? — Frazzled

Dear Frazzled:

You’re crazy.

As recently as 10 years ago, when I entered college, libraries were changing. WiFi was growing exponentially, books were being replaced by digital copies, and the places that housed those books were replaced by computers. You can’t go to a library these days without there being a cafe or coffee shop built right into it. It’s evolving with the times, unlike you.

Your old school library is dead and if it’s not dead then it’s dying. They’ve become common areas where people can come and share ideas, talk and possibly learn something new. You can either accept it and go to those designated quiet areas or stay home where no one will bother you. But honestly, who hangs out at the public library?

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“Jaw With John” – Color Me Stupid

I gave my girlfriend $250 for her birthday. She used it to have her hair done.

When she got home, she didn’t like the color. She is going back this weekend. It probably won’t be free, so who should pay? — Darryl

Dear Darryl:

What’s crackin’ Darryl? You gave her a gift and she spent it. If she gave you $20 and you went to a movie, but it ended up being awful would you expect her to give you another $20 so you could find a movie you did like? Hell no. It’s times like this that I remember a quote from Homer Simpson: “You chose fruit, you live with fruit.” Your girlfriend chose to have her hair done, she can live with it (or change it). Either way your wallet stays closed amigo!

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