Tag Archives: Advice

05/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Ease Her Pain. Go The Distance.

“I am a baby boomer with one old college friend. We were very close once and are still friends on Facebook. I have not seen her for 10 years.

On Facebook she sounds not exactly senile but a little crazy. She has poor health and I see online that one of the drugs she takes can cause delusions and symptoms of dementia.

She was once a brilliant woman. But her posts are mostly political rants or fan worship for her favorite pop star.

I am traveling to her city soon. Part of me wants to see her — for old times’ sake. Part of me thinks I will be depressed and horrified to see her now. I know from the death of my parents how hard it is to erase negative images of someone from my mind.

I guess I am writing to ask for permission not to visit her. Or as one of her oldest friends — should I visit her?

I loved her once but I am not sure I would like her now. — Sad to See”

Dear Sad:

You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to. It’s that simple.

But maybe you should.

You might have answered your own question when you mentioned your parents. You want to remember them as they were but you need to be with them as they go so that they know you cared. Perhaps you should make a quick trip and see your friend. You might not get another chance.

*My question to you though is: How do you know what drugs she’s taking? Is she posting them on Facebook or are you super nosy? Also, if she’s a baby boomer who’s here favorite pop star? Half of The Beatles are dead. Madonna is a shade of her former self. And I highly doubt she’s a Tay-Sway super fan so her pop star posts are intriguing to me.*

 

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03/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – There’s A Banshee in the Building

“About once a month, my wife and I get together with a group of our friends for dinner. “Vivian” is a girlfriend of “Fred’s” and is a very nice person.

However, Vivian has a very high, loud and screechy voice.

I deliberately try to sit down the table from her, but sometimes this is not possible. I know Fred is aware of how annoying her voice is (his facial expression sometimes gives it away) but I doubt he has said anything to her.

I would like to say something to Fred but my wife told me to hold off. She says it is rude. I simply do not want to attend any other gatherings where Vivian is in attendance.

What do you advise? — Deaf in Maryland”

Dear Deaf:

Earplugs?

Nah, that’s too easy and extremely passive aggressive.

You can ask Vivian to keep her voice down whenever she talks too loudly. Other than that you just need to suck it up and deal with loud people because they are everywhere.

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03/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Problem Grandchild

“My youngest grandson has just left from a week-long visit. He lives out of state and we rarely see him.

He is 8 years old and this was his first visit with us. We have realized that he lies, he cheats, he is incredibly rude and is basically unpleasant to be around.

This is the first grandchild with whom we have had such an unpleasant experience. His parents will expect us to invite him back next year, but we aren’t interested.

How do we address this issue with his parents? — Foundering Grandparents”

Dear Grandparents:

He cheats? WTF? Are you guys playing Clue and he peeked at the cards to see if it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Wrench?

When I was 8 years old, I clearly remember cheating, lying, and being a brat in general but then I grew up and became only a twinge bit of an asshole.

This kid just needs to be told how to behave, and that should be by his parents. Tell them what happened and let them handle this. As far as not having him back next year, that’s cool. But don’t shut him out completely. I had a great relationship with my grandmother – that was primarily based around her taking me to see any movie I or she wanted – but it was positive nonetheless and your grandson needs that too.

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01/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Basket Case

“I’m a college student on a campus where bikes are widely used, and I lent my bike to my roommate to use while I was away. She texted me, saying that she just got back to campus from a short break home and realized my bike had been stolen. Eventually she found the bike, but the basket had been removed.

Obviously I’m very glad it was found. Do I have the right to ask her to replace the stolen basket? It wasn’t cheap, and I feel like since it was taken under her watch she should replace it. I don’t want to be petty about it. We’re great roommates. What would be the best way to bring it up? — Conflicted”

Dear Conflicted:

She owes you a new basket plain and simple. The fact that she didn’t already offer to buy you a new one tells me that she doesn’t know she should buy you one.

It’s very simple: you can send her a link to the place where you originally bought the basket or she can buy something similar from Amazon or wherever. As long as you’re happy with the basket choice then all should be golden.

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31/07/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Get Over It, Go Out With Somebody Else

*After taking some time off/being a bit lazy, I’m back in this*

“I’m a 27-year-old female. I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years in March because he was caught texting a girl (she’d already been brought up in conversation as an issue for me) in a very non-platonic way, if you know what I mean.

I admit to being very jealous so I tried to give him space to have whatever friends he wanted, but I also believe there should be very clear boundaries with these “friends.”

Anyhow, even after the breakup we are still acting like we’re together. He spends nearly every night at my house, we still “do the do,” he gets jealous over other guys I’m talking to but when I say let’s try again, he tells me no. I honestly think he has someone (or several someones) else but with no proof — and the way he still treats me like he wants this, I can’t really walk away without knowing for sure. Any advice? — Confused”

Dear Confused:

I don’t think you or your ex know what “break up” means or else this guy wouldn’t be over nearly every night.

And honestly, when you say “do the do” it reminds me of Mountain Dew and their “Do the Dew” slogan. I don’t think you want to be associated with that product that now goes by Mtn Dew because apparently spelling out M-o-u-n-t-a-i-n takes up too much space and time. But that’s neither here nor there.

It seems that both of you are Stacy from Wayne’s World:

Simple advice: cut the cord. You broke up, are you mental?

 

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