Tag Archives: Advice

20/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Auntie’s Offspring Have Been Busy

“At 88 years of age, I am the last remaining child of a family of nine children. My health is fair, and my income is sufficient.

My problem is that I have 35 nieces and nephews (all in another state) who are starting to marry. They are kindly extending invitations to me. I have sent a financial gift to four weddings, but if I continue at this pace I’ll be broke.

How do I stop this “graciously”? They do love their aunt. — Auntie Em, The Great”

Dear Auntie:

35!? Daaaaaaaayummmmm, your family knows how to procreate. I’d suggest finding the cheapest thing on their registry and buying that OR just giving them a memento from your family. And if they just want money tell them that the way that you’re gifting money that you’ll have to move in with them at some point. That will give them a good scare and let them know that you can’t give them money anymore.

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19/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – As Blink-182 said: ‘Work Sucks, I Know’

“I am a millennial, first-generation college graduate from a dysfunctional family. I assumed when I went to college that things would somehow be easier, but they weren’t. Looking back, I guess it was a killer combo of burnout, lack of support/mentorship and unresolved issues.

Upon graduation with decent grades I was released into the first year of the faltering job market. Since then I have managed to scrape by (and for that I feel fortunate) but never really gain security.

I was laid off from my job several months ago, but the thought of getting another 9-to-5 office job literally gives me anxiety attacks. The stress of trying to pretend to be “normal” and robotic to that level is something that I’ve realized I cannot do.

In my earlier days, arts, writing and performing made me the happiest. Sometimes I wonder if things have been so difficult attempting to succeed in corporate America because it was not something I was meant to do in the first place. But acting and writing seem like pipe dreams.

I am a 28-year-old woman. Is it foolish just to get part-time jobs until I figure some things out? My student debt makes it impossible to go back to school right now. — Jaded and Confused”

Dear Jaded:

I feel like you and I are in the same boat. It took me almost a full year after graduating to get a job. I held that job for 3 years before I had finally had enough and wanted out. This job was emotionally and physically draining on me and the thought of doing it for another year made me change paths. So, I did something crazy, I quit it and went around the world for a month and a half. It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I currently do part-time stuff as I figure things out and see where I can go. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. Does it suck? Hell yeah it sucks! Especially when you see your friends furthering their careers and thriving. But don’t let that get you down! 9-to-5 corporate jobs are not for everyone, no matter what Dolly Parton tells us.

Take a part-time job, figure your shit out and when you find that thing that you excel at and smile going to day in and day out you will realize that you made the right choice.

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18/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Stepfather Blows Smoke Up Your Butt (not literally)

“I am the mother of three children who enjoy going to my mom and stepfather’s house to spend the night. The issue is that my stepfather smokes in their home and vehicle.

I have spoken to them and stated that my husband and I do not want our children around smoking. I asked that he not smoke in the home and car when our children are there.

My children have come home and told us that he continues to smoke in their presence.

My children also tell us that they don’t eat at times when they are there, and do not take baths after playing outside with pets.

I do know that the couple’s cleanliness is not the greatest. Their dog has been ill with untreated illnesses.

*Due to all these factors I have decided not to let my children in the home. It is my job to protect them, and I feel my mom and stepfather should respect my wishes.

*Am I overreacting? And how should I handle this situation, since saying something before has not changed anything. — Protective Mother”

Dear Mother:

Smoking is one of the most disgusting habits in the world. Tobacco smoking that is, the “sticky icky” is a whole other ball of wax. I work with quite a few people who do smoke and, honestly, it gets me frustrated and sick whenever I see them smoking. The fact that your stepfather is doing this around children REALLY bothers me. He should know better and you need to tell him face to face that he needs to not smoke in their presence.

“They don’t eat at times”? What does that mean? Are they skipping meals or are they just not snacking a lot? You need to be more specific here because if it’s just snacking then that’s probably for the best, but if it’s a full on meal then you’ve got a bigger problem.

I once went an entire week not showering or changing my underwear. True story. It was Boy Scout camp and my “bath” was jumping into the ocean and then marching up to my tent, through the dirt and mud and sand. Kids will get dirty, it’s part of being a child. Your parents seem to let kids be kids.

*Sigh* You need to voice your opinion and let your parents know that you will not tolerate smoking in front of or around your children. Otherwise, that smoke is going right up your butt.

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17/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Pretty Sure You Play For Both Teams

“I am a 65-year-old divorced, professional woman. I have a great career, a teenager at home and three other children who are grown up and living on their own.

I was married to a man for over two decades and we had a nasty divorce about 15 years ago. Since that divorce, I have had two five-year relationships with women. Everyone knows me as lesbian.

This may seem strange but, after all these years, I find myself attracted to males again and believe my personality and behavior are more compatible with men.

My friends are supportive. My children have always thought of me as bisexual.

I have a divorced male friend and colleague of several years and he knows me only as a lesbian. We are both self-employed mental health practitioners and we cross paths at workshops, in town, etc.

I have always felt his attraction to me, but when I was with women I never considered pursuing anything.

I could be wrong about his attraction to me and do not want to assume anything, but I would like to tell him that I am no longer interested in romantic relationships with women.

How can I say that I am not lesbian anymore without sounding weird? I tend to be shy and do better via email. — Searching”

Dear Searching:

I’m not an expert on the matter, but I don’t think you’re “not lesbian anymore”. I don’t think that’s how it works….You seem to be attracted to both sexes. As for this male colleague of yours, I say if it feels good do it! And by “it” I mean approach him however you want to so that you are comfortable. If that’s via e-mail then get after it!

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16/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – There Are No Weddings in Baseball!!!

“My fiance and I are planning to get married over Memorial Day weekend. It’ll be a relatively small family-oriented affair — held in the same location as my father’s memorial last year.

My older sister is in my wedding party. She and her husband have been together most of my life (they married when I was 9 years old).

My sister informed me yesterday that her husband and my 12-year-old nephew may need to miss most of the festivities because he has a baseball tournament that weekend.

They also missed my father’s memorial for the same reason.

Amy, I understand that guests have other priorities, but I feel incredibly hurt that such a special occasion is being trumped by a baseball tournament. I feel it’s teaching my nephew skewed priorities. I come from a family of athletes; I understand juggling practice and playing with other priorities.

Should I address this directly or accept it? I don’t want to be an egocentric bride, but this hurts. Please share your perspective. — Disappointed Bride”

Dear Disappointed:

Let me get this straight – you chose one of the busiest weekends of the year to hold your wedding knowing that your nephew and brother-in-law missed your father’s memorial that same weekend the year before. You clearly knew that this was a possibility. I mean, they missed a memorial service over baseball…c’mon.

These types of tournaments are held throughout the year on various holiday weekends with various sports: soccer & Thanksgiving, basketball & Christmas, Football & New Year’s etc etc etc. You should know this since you, allegedly, come from “a family of athletes”.

I don’t believe that this is teaching your nephew to skew his priorities at all. He is obviously doing something that he loves and not doing it out of malice toward you, he’s 12. If you demand that they both be there then that’s a surefire way to make your nephew hate you. I believe you should address it but delicately. Mention that you’re disappointed that they might not be there (yeah, you said might, this could all change and everything could be fine) and hope that if they can make it that you’d obviously love to have them.

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