Tag Archives: Break Up Advice

“Jaw With John” – You’re A Little Late, I’m Already Torn

There are two men in my life who have been playing ping-pong with me and my emotions for the past year or so.

I’ve known “David” for most of my life. For many years he said he was interested in me and talked about plans of marriage, children and taking care of me.

He never made a serious move until this past year, but he works odd hours and cancels plans on short notice to travel for work. Sometimes he disappears, leaving me in the dark as to what is going on.

For about a week we were officially “dating.” He labeled me his “girlfriend” on social media and soon after that he disappeared. He recently messaged me and said he wanted to get back together, but I’ve been dating “Jack.”

Jack and I have dated for a year but he shows a lack of interest in our relationship. He will tell me he is on his way home, and by morning he won’t be there and he won’t tell me why.

He’ll also go shopping and buy “special” items for himself and not think twice about our household.

When I brought up a plan for starting a healthier lifestyle, Jack treated it as a joke. I decided to break up with him. Then he started a fight with me and we both ended up saying things we didn’t mean.

My problem is I’m not sure which guy is good for me.

I’m not sure what to do now that my emotions are all over the place. I feel swamped with a big decision I don’t know how to make. — Torn

Dear Torn:

There’s nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on
Nothing’s fine
I’m torn

Natalie Imbruglia, man. She gets you.

This answer is very very very very simple: None of them are good for you. Tell David and Jack to hit the bricks because you’re going to find yourself a new man!

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“Jaw With John” – You Need A Potential Breakup Song

I am a high school sophomore. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about two months now. Lately I’ve been feeling that he and I just aren’t working out as a couple, but I can’t bring myself to break up with him, though I do want to tell him how I feel.

I don’t feel comfortable saying anything to him in person (it doesn’t help that we don’t have much time to talk between classes), and though I’d prefer it, I don’t feel that over e-mail or instant messaging is a good way to break up. I would still like to stay friends but am unsure of what to do to end our relationship. — Confused

Dear Confused:

Lemme tell you something Confused: Tell him how you feel! As a guy-who-eventually-found-out-that-the-girl-he-had-been-dating-didn’t-really-feel-the-same-way-about-him I can tell you that it’s the worst! You can’t keep stringing him along. Right now you’re giving him false hope and that’s the worst thing for a High School guy. And, wait…what about after school? You don’t have time to do it between classes, and frankly you shouldn’t do it at school at all, that will be embarrassing for him, but what about after school? That seems like the best option.

After school, give him the old “We need to talk” and let him down easy. He’ll probably be pissed but what can you do? I know, find a new guy! Or listen to some music, you can’t go wrong. Just don’t e-mail him or IM him, you’re on point about avoiding those.

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“Jaw With John” – Bro, Your Girlfriend Sucks. Time For A New One

My nephew “Hugo” was invited to his friend’s wedding. The bride’s family has limited the number of guests, so Hugo cannot bring a companion. Hugo’s girlfriend of about a year and a half (“Martha”) told Hugo he is “disrespecting their relationship” because he plans to go to the wedding without her.

Martha also said Hugo is being treated like a “B-list guest” because he did not receive his invitation until a couple of weeks before the wedding, rather than six weeks in advance, and should protest by not going. (The friend did send out a “save the date” notice months ago.)

Martha barely knows the groom. I don’t see how Hugo’s going to the wedding amounts to disrespecting their relationship, nor do I think Hugo is being treated like a B-list guest. Am I wrong? Shouldn’t he feel free to go to the wedding if he wants to? — A Meddling Aunt

Dear Aunt:

Martha sounds like a total Basic Bitch.

The invitation/guest limit clearly says that she can’t go, and she doesn’t know the groom that well anyway, but since she can’t go Hugo shouldn’t? She sounds like a drama queen and should be kicked to the curb immediately.

I fail to see how he’s “disrespecting their relationship” by going without her. He’s respecting the wedding party’s wishes. There are always lots of single and sometimes-desperate-because-they’re-seeing-their-friends-getting-married-girls at weddings. Get on with your bad self Hugo!

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