Tag Archives: Dad

12/10/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wife Has A Funny View On Being Unfaithful

“My wife of 10 years dropped a bomb on me last night. She told me that she’s interested in having sexual relations with a female friend of hers. She is seeking my approval.

She feels that doing this with someone of the same sex doesn’t constitute being unfaithful. I don’t know if I’m being overly conservative here but I strongly disagree.

I’ve known she was curious for a little while now but I was totally not expecting this.

We have two young children and I’m very worried that her curiosity might put our family at risk. We had a long discussion last night but it seems she’s already made up her mind and won’t reason with me.

Is there anything I could say that would convince her otherwise?

I’m eager for your take on this. — Scared Dad”

Dear Scared:

Your wife seems to have a funny view of infidelity. By her reasoning, Luke’s Dad on The O.C. wasn’t being unfaithful because it was with another man. Fuzzy logic.

She seems pretty determined and there are no words I can put together that would help you convince her otherwise.

The smart ass in me is suggesting you tell her that since you are not attracted to other men that you would like to be with another woman if she gets to. That would definitely rile her up and maybe expose her to the idea that this is truly dumb and sophomoric.

The realist in me says to seek counseling and explore these thoughts and desires with a professional and maybe then she will see the error in her thinking.

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02/03/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – BF Has A Been Busy

“My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years and have a 9-year-old child.

My boyfriend has three kids from a previous relationship. His ex also had another child a few months younger than mine (from a one-night stand).

Naturally that child thinks my boyfriend is its father and calls him “Dad.”

My boyfriend and his family provide for this child financially just as they do for his biological children. No one has ever mentioned or explained this to the child.

I can’t help but resent my boyfriend for claiming this child, and he has also made it clear that he doesn’t want any more children because he has “five” already.

When is the appropriate time or age to tell this child the truth? Or am I being selfish, since my boyfriend is the only father the child knows? — Truth Hurts”

Dear Truth:

Your boyfriend will tell the child that he is “not the father”, as Maury would say, when he is ready and when he feels it is the right time for the child. He’s being supportive and helping provide for two families here and you’re hung up on this kid – who’s not his – calling him “Dad”. Grow up. Support your boyfriend. He’s trying to do the right thing.

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25/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me

“My middle daughter (I have three children) is 18 years old and a senior in high school. She has been a challenge to me, as she has always been very private about her emotions and what is going on in her daily life.

Over the last several months, I have noticed her withdrawing from friends and activities, and spending large amounts of time in her room watching movies on her computer. She will not talk to me and in fact gave me a 10-day silent treatment when she was caught trying to skip classes. (I turned her in when I learned she had falsified an email from me to get out of going to class.)

She occasionally talks to her dad, but when he has expressed concern about her apparent depression, she just says she is sad and doesn’t see the point in reliving the problems with a therapist, as they will just make her feel bad all over again. She is refusing this option.

She still goes to school, makes good grades, goes to a part-time job, and is now shopping for a prom dress — so she is not entirely hopeless in her outlook. However, she wants to attend college out of state, and I am concerned about the effect of such a transition on her mental status. I tried to talk to her pediatrician, but there can be no discussion without my daughter’s consent, because she is 18. My daughter won’t give the OK.

Any ideas? — Mom who Cares”

Dear Mom:

You’ve given her enough space to let her try and work things out on her own but that clearly hasn’t worked. It’s now time to get positively involved and see what is at the root of this funk. Part of this might be the dreaded “Middle Child Syndrome” where your daughter feels as if she has been mistreated since she is smack dab in the middle of the first child and the “baby” in the family.

Maybe that transition into college is exactly what she needs. She could find the support and guidance she needs in a new place because there isn’t that fear that Mom & Dad are lingering and she can finally be her own woman. But if that doesn’t seem worth the risk, then you need to sit her down and talk with her. Not to her. Listen and respond. Don’t try and force her do anything she doesn’t want to because that could drive her further away. If talking with her doesn’t work then you should seek a professional with whom you can talk to and get some actual insight into your daughter’s life and how to proceed.

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30/01/2015
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“Jaw With John” – It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding, Without His New GF That Is

“My fiance and I recently got engaged. About five years ago, his parents divorced when his dad announced he had been seeing someone else and was leaving. His mom has had a very difficult time with this. My fiance only sees his dad every few months despite being in the same city, although they text back and forth somewhat frequently. However, he has never liked his dad’s girlfriend, since he views her as the reason for his parents’ marriage ending.

Soon we are going to be making guest lists and sending out invitations for the wedding. My fiance does not want his dad’s girlfriend to attend, not only because he doesn’t like her, but because he doesn’t want to make his mom uncomfortable or cause any drama on our wedding day. I am afraid his dad might tell him that if his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come, then he won’t come either, and my fiance will regret his father not being there on his wedding day.

Do you think it’s fair to ask that his dad’s girlfriend not attend our wedding? — Wondering Fiancee”

Dear Wondering:

You’re afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. I think it’s perfectly fair to ask her not to attend. If he doesn’t want to attend because she wouldn’t be welcomed then screw him. That decision would lead m to believe that it was all about him and not about your wedding. Let the Dad know that she is not welcome and if he causes a fuss then he’s an asshole. But cross that bridge when you get to it.

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