Tag Archives: daughter

01/02/2017
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Advice, Uncategorized

“Jaw With John” – Mom’s Losing Sleep Over Carpool When There’s No Need

“I have been carpooling with another mom for about a year. I pick her kids up from the bus stop and take them home. We help each other out, but I do most of the carpooling because of “Kathy’s” work schedule.

Because my daughter “Chris” turned 16, she will be driving to school once the weather improves. I told Kathy we have to discuss the carpool situation. By law, Chris will be allowed to have only one non-family member in the car. She cannot take Kathy’s daughter to and from school because Chris will be taking her best friend.

I feel terrible about it. I am a rule follower and don’t want to put my daughter in an illegal situation. I believe I have given Kathy plenty of time to figure another way home for her daughter. I’m not sure why I feel so bad and am losing sleep over this. Am I wrong? — Carpooling In Ohio”

Dear Carpooling,

“The universe tends to unfold as it should.” – Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

You’ve given notice to Kathy and she will adjust. This is not the end of the world. I am sure that in the future, Chris will be able to pick up Kathy’s daughter on random days when her best friend isn’t a passenger. Get some sleep, you look tired.

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07/10/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Son-In-Law Isn’t Promoted, In-Laws Frustrated

“Our daughter has been married for 10 years to a wonderful guy. They’re great parents. So what’s our problem?

Well, our son-in-law has a college education and a very good job with one of the best firms in our area.

He has applied for a promotion four times in the past 14 months and has been turned down every time. He is frustrated and unhappy about this.

We (of course) cannot be there at his job and see his eight years of performance (which seem to be very good). But we can see that he takes his job very lightly. He dresses extremely casually every day — T-shirts with no collar, ill-fitting jeans, etc.

Last fall, he attended an out-of-town conference and took off one full day to lie by the hotel pool and “relax.” Unfortunately he chose to post this on social media. He has talked to other employees against the company line. His grammar is often incorrect and his manners can be sloppy.

He is a truly fine man with a good heart but doesn’t seem to project this at work.

There is absolutely no way we can discuss this with him. We are hoping he would recognize himself if he saw this in your column. It is hard to sit by and watch his upset and unhappiness at promotion time. — Concerned In-Laws”

Dear Concerned:

Promotions are earned. They are not handed out because someone has been there long enough. At least that’s how it works at most companies.

I hate to be the one tell you this but I doubt he’s going to find this and read your plea for change and then have an epiphany because he realizes that he needs to change. Not going to happen.

Maybe it will take a 5th time failing to be promoted that he will recognize that a change in attitude is in order. But this isn’t your battle. It’s his.

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07/10/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Sorry Taylor Swift, But She Went Out Of Style

“What can I do when my mother tries to push her design taste on me by continually buying items for my home that SHE likes, but I hate?

It is driving me crazy! — Design Secure”

Dear Secure:

Uhhh, tell her you don’t like those things? Shot in the dark here…

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23/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – How To Be Anti-Social on The Social Network

“I am a 60-something-year-old woman who, although I am very “up” on all technology, absolutely hates Facebook! I find it intrusive and a place where most of the posts I’ve read on other people’s pages are just downright bragging about kids, grandkids, money, etc., etc. Some of the posts are completely stupid.

I have a friend who decided it would be a great idea to become FB friends with my 30-year-old daughter.

Now she repeats everything that is on my daughter’s page and it drives me completely nuts. I have told her how much I hate Facebook but she just doesn’t get it. If I did go on Facebook, I would never go on her daughter’s page. I am not that nosy and I don’t need to read every little comment that is made or look at pictures of people I have no interest in. Any suggestions on how I should go about this without losing my friend over it? — Furious over Facebook”

Dear Furious:

Facebook, and similar sites, are social networks. They are an extension of yourself into the digital realm. The difference between real life and the digital world is that you can control what you put out there for people to see, what you report on, and what you post. For someone who is “‘up’ on all technology” you seem to lack this basic understanding. You can be friends with anyone you choose, or not choose. You can even be friends with someone but unfollow them so you wouldn’t see anything they posted but still be their friend. Hell, you could be friends with TONS of people but unfollow them all so you would see nothing but still be “connected” on Facebook.

By joining you could also do away with the entire conversation you have with this friend. You could say “Yes, I saw that because I’m on Facebook now” and that could hopefully end the conversation. You could even lie about seeing said post to stop that topic from ever coming up again. This is pretty anti-social, but it would get your friend off your back.

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21/09/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – So You’re Saying Your Daughter Dresses A Bit Too Sexy?

“I have a grown daughter who is over 40. She has teenage children. My daughter makes wardrobe choices more common for a sexy young 20 year old than for a grown woman.

She is beautiful in her own right, but I think she may be conveying the wrong image to everyone and actually embarrassing her children.

I would like to give her a “makeover.”

I am offering to pay for a hairstyling appointment and some new clothes and shoes. How can I approach this and not hurt her feelings, or is that impossible?

It’s not just her Dad and I that feel this way about her appearance. Other members of the family have also mentioned this to me. — Mom Needs Advice”

Dear Mom:

I know the type of mom your daughter is and as a high school kid I watched with open jaw as they walked on by. I also went to an all boys high school so women weren’t see too much on campus unless they were teachers and when one came on campus it was an event. I bet that’s not what you wanted to hear, is it?

There is no way of sugar coating what you are trying to achieve. By telling her you want to make her over you are saying you don’t approve of her appearance and she would, most likely, be insulted. There is also no guarantee that if you were to let her do it on her own that she would change for the better. She could come out even sluttier.

Have you tried discussing her wardrobe choices with her? Instead of trying to be sneaky about it be open, frank, honest and other synonyms with her. She might respond to that better.

The only other viable option I see is going on What Not To Wear and being made over by a professional…but in typing that I found out that that show has ended it’s run so we’re back to square one!

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