“My daughter and her boyfriend got married this past weekend. The ceremony was beautiful and they worked very hard to make sure everything was just right. They also paid for the whole thing; though it was a low-key affair, there was still considerable expense.
What shocked me was the number of guests who RSVP’d that they would be attending, but then didn’t show up. This meant that a lot of money was spent on food, beverages and favors that went to waste.
I know sometimes people think, “Well, I’m just one person so it won’t make that much difference,” but if you multiply that by 10 or 20 people, it adds up! I find it incredibly rude and feel that they owe her and her husband an apology.
Outside of calling them out on Facebook or jokingly saying they’ll get a bill for their portion of the food, I know there’s nothing to be done. I just wonder if this is the “new way” and manners just don’t matter anymore. Your thoughts? — Furious”
Dear Furious:
I’m sure your daughter knows who did and did not show up so they could be hearing from her if she’s so inclined to do so. But it’s not your arena. You shouldn’t do anything, no matter how rude it is – and it’s very rude. There isn’t a “new way” for manners. Rude is rude.
Sometimes there are genuine last-minute reasons why someone can’t make an event. If that’s the case with some of these then an explanation and apology is simple. But those that just blew off the wedding entirely are the ones you need to look out for and see if they are the type of people wanted at other milestone-type events.
Or, the other way you can look at it is “Hey, look! More food and booze for me!”
John Kidde Writes 