“I am a baby boomer with one old college friend. We were very close once and are still friends on Facebook. I have not seen her for 10 years.
On Facebook she sounds not exactly senile but a little crazy. She has poor health and I see online that one of the drugs she takes can cause delusions and symptoms of dementia.
She was once a brilliant woman. But her posts are mostly political rants or fan worship for her favorite pop star.
I am traveling to her city soon. Part of me wants to see her — for old times’ sake. Part of me thinks I will be depressed and horrified to see her now. I know from the death of my parents how hard it is to erase negative images of someone from my mind.
I guess I am writing to ask for permission not to visit her. Or as one of her oldest friends — should I visit her?
I loved her once but I am not sure I would like her now. — Sad to See”
Dear Sad:
You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to. It’s that simple.
But maybe you should.
You might have answered your own question when you mentioned your parents. You want to remember them as they were but you need to be with them as they go so that they know you cared. Perhaps you should make a quick trip and see your friend. You might not get another chance.
*My question to you though is: How do you know what drugs she’s taking? Is she posting them on Facebook or are you super nosy? Also, if she’s a baby boomer who’s here favorite pop star? Half of The Beatles are dead. Madonna is a shade of her former self. And I highly doubt she’s a Tay-Sway super fan so her pop star posts are intriguing to me.*
John Kidde Writes 