Tag Archives: Passive Aggressive

“Jaw With John” – Marilynsanity

My uncle’s wife, “Marilyn,” is very difficult. She invites herself to other peoples’ Facebook accounts, tells humiliating stories about others and keeps tabs on other people’s private information.

She has been passive-aggressively taunting me for being single after my very difficult breakup with a girlfriend. I have not been in a stable relationship since my breakup, but both of my younger brothers have significant others, and Marilyn throws this in my face. She has also done this to those who have lost spouses and are still grieving, upsetting them deeply.

Marilyn even invited my ex-girlfriend to a private family gathering where she didn’t belong. My ex attended and was provocatively dressed (I feel just to embarrass me), and was revealing her reputation for shameless promiscuity.

My uncle can’t control Marilyn’s behavior. This type of harassment even got her slapped with a no-contact order by a family member, which she was clearly asking for.

How do I make it clear that I do not appreciate this type of humiliation and disrespect without resorting to such legal restraint? — Alienated Nephew

Dear Nephew:

Your Aunt sounds like a bitch. A bitch who wants nothing more than to stir up controversy and see how others react with no regards to their feelings. AKA a psychopath.

When I think of your aunt I’m reminded of what Alfred said when he was describing The Joker in The Dark Knight: “Because some [wo]men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [wo]men just want to watch the world burn.”

When it comes to Facebook you can block, unfollow, or simply unfriend your aunt so she can’t see what you’re up to anymore and limit who can see your information, posts, etc. It is also possible to delete her posts. If you want to be passive aggressive right back to her you could do that. You seem averse to talking to her directly. So, beyond telling your aunt freeze bitch, there’s not much else you can do here.

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“Jaw With John” – There’s A Banshee in the Building

About once a month, my wife and I get together with a group of our friends for dinner. “Vivian” is a girlfriend of “Fred’s” and is a very nice person.

However, Vivian has a very high, loud and screechy voice.

I deliberately try to sit down the table from her, but sometimes this is not possible. I know Fred is aware of how annoying her voice is (his facial expression sometimes gives it away) but I doubt he has said anything to her.

I would like to say something to Fred but my wife told me to hold off. She says it is rude. I simply do not want to attend any other gatherings where Vivian is in attendance.

What do you advise? — Deaf in Maryland

Dear Deaf:

Earplugs?

Nah, that’s too easy and extremely passive aggressive.

You can ask Vivian to keep her voice down whenever she talks too loudly. Other than that you just need to suck it up and deal with loud people because they are everywhere.

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“Jaw With John” – Aunt Is A Regular Sue Storm

In yesterday’s mail we received a birth announcement of a new great-nephew, addressed only to my husband.

Christmas cards, wedding announcements, birth announcements, thank-you cards — anything coming from his sister and her children all are addressed only to him.

The most mention I ever get is “and Family.” One wedding invitation actually came to “Uncle John and Family.” Our children are grown so presumably I’m the nameless “Family.”

I buy the presents and sign the cards and checks. There’s no animosity between us. I’ve known the kids since birth and they are all nice people. But each omission makes me feel, well, a bit unwanted.

I’m tempted to have only my husband sign the card that I bought before the announcement arrived. I want him to tell his sister that this makes me feel sad and left out. He doesn’t see it as an issue and thinks I should ignore it, but he also says that since it bothers me, I should tell her myself.

What’s your take? — The Invisible Aunt

Dear Invisible:

Listen to your husband here and talk directly to his sister. I know what it’s like to be slighted, albeit in a different manner.

It was Christmas, the family was opening presents and we had decided to open gifts from a certain friend all at the same time. All the gifts were neatly and elegantly wrapped and there was a note saying that the gifts were all from a recent trip to Africa … except for me. I got a calendar. I looked around and said, to myself, There was nothing in Africa that could be for me? Not one thing? I moved on and now it’s a pretty decent joke I can tell. Your situation is different but similar.

You know you need to bring this to the attention of your brother’s sister otherwise it will continue. Being passive aggressive with the notes and gifts won’t solve anything. Ask your sister-in-law “What’s up?” because unlike my calendar, your feelings won’t go away after January 1st.

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“Jaw With John” – Smug Alert!

I have a friend of about 40 years who has an expensive electric sports car. When he visits me, he parks it in the driveway blocking my wife and son from moving their cars and, most annoying, he insists on plugging into our electricity to recharge his car.

I did some research and it appears that a recharge costs about $5 or $6 in electricity. I find it very annoying. Would he expect to pay for the gas that I consume to drive to his house? Why should I pay for the electricity for his drive to my house?

Can you suggest a nice way to tell him to park his car in the street and to pay for the electricity to run his car? I have tried to tell him to park on the street, but he doesn’t seem to get the message. — All Charged Up

Dear Charged:

People who drive electric or hybrid cars tend to think they are sooooooo much better than the rest of us. It’s awful.

There’s a simple solution here that you’re not seeing: just put one car at the very end of your driveway, just before you hit the sidewalk or street. That will effectively tell him to stop parking in your driveway … in a passive aggressive way.

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