Tag Archives: Rude

19/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Single But Not Alone

“I am a single senior male, divorced for over 40 years. NO I’m not gay. NO I don’t hate women. NO I’m not abusive to anyone or frightening to children and puppies.

I am happy and healthy being single. I have many friends, and I am not lonely. When I meet people and the subject of being single for a long time comes up, the usual response is, “I’m so sorry. Don’t give up, you will meet someone.”

My life has been, and is, very fulfilling. I’d like to respond by saying, “I’m so sorry for you. Maybe someday you will be a whole person with a whole life — rather than half of something.”

That would be rude, but do you have any answers for a response? — Happy Singleton”

Dear Singleton:

Have you ever tried saying “I’m happy being single”? There’s no reason to be rude here. But I’ll admit, it can be a bit demeaning to hear people say “You’ll meet someone”, over and over again.

If that happens, be like Jay-Z and brush that dirt off your shoulder and respond that you are comfortable being single.

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06/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Sister Doesn’t Need Chitchat

“My sister (in her early 40s) was diagnosed with cancer.

They caught it early, so it’s still at an early stage. We in the family all found out about this a few weeks ago.

I have messaged her and her husband a few times since then to chitchat, but never asked them about the cancer.

I feel like if they want to talk about it or need my help, I will be there. It is understood by everyone in my family that we will help each other if asked.

My sister and I haven’t spoken for a week, and I found out from my other sister that my brother-in-law called me rude and not supportive because I didn’t offer to help.

I have two young children, and the younger one was constantly sick. I also work full time and am dealing with a dying father-in-law.

I don’t have the memory capacity or time to follow up on them all the time. Was I being rude? — Hurt”

Dear Hurt:

I don’t want to say you were rude but……..you screwed up.

You were trying to be tact and it ended up coming across like you didn’t care when it’s quite the opposite. I believe what you were trying to do was to take your sister’s mind off her recent bad news by talking about other things but she clearly didn’t want to hear about such nonsense. She wanted to hear you express your love and support for her in this trying time.

Call your sister back and tell her that you are behind her 100% because she needs you, and the rest of her family, now more than ever.

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03/08/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Problem Grandchild

“My youngest grandson has just left from a week-long visit. He lives out of state and we rarely see him.

He is 8 years old and this was his first visit with us. We have realized that he lies, he cheats, he is incredibly rude and is basically unpleasant to be around.

This is the first grandchild with whom we have had such an unpleasant experience. His parents will expect us to invite him back next year, but we aren’t interested.

How do we address this issue with his parents? — Foundering Grandparents”

Dear Grandparents:

He cheats? WTF? Are you guys playing Clue and he peeked at the cards to see if it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Wrench?

When I was 8 years old, I clearly remember cheating, lying, and being a brat in general but then I grew up and became only a twinge bit of an asshole.

This kid just needs to be told how to behave, and that should be by his parents. Tell them what happened and let them handle this. As far as not having him back next year, that’s cool. But don’t shut him out completely. I had a great relationship with my grandmother – that was primarily based around her taking me to see any movie I or she wanted – but it was positive nonetheless and your grandson needs that too.

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04/05/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – RSVPeeved

“My daughter and her boyfriend got married this past weekend. The ceremony was beautiful and they worked very hard to make sure everything was just right. They also paid for the whole thing; though it was a low-key affair, there was still considerable expense.

What shocked me was the number of guests who RSVP’d that they would be attending, but then didn’t show up. This meant that a lot of money was spent on food, beverages and favors that went to waste.

I know sometimes people think, “Well, I’m just one person so it won’t make that much difference,” but if you multiply that by 10 or 20 people, it adds up! I find it incredibly rude and feel that they owe her and her husband an apology.

Outside of calling them out on Facebook or jokingly saying they’ll get a bill for their portion of the food, I know there’s nothing to be done. I just wonder if this is the “new way” and manners just don’t matter anymore. Your thoughts? — Furious”

Dear Furious:

I’m sure your daughter knows who did and did not show up so they could be hearing from her if she’s so inclined to do so. But it’s not your arena. You shouldn’t do anything, no matter how rude it is – and it’s very rude. There isn’t a “new way” for manners. Rude is rude.

Sometimes there are genuine last-minute reasons why someone can’t make an event. If that’s the case with some of these then an explanation and apology is simple. But those that just blew off the wedding entirely are the ones you need to look out for and see if they are the type of people wanted at other milestone-type events.

Or, the other way you can look at it is “Hey, look! More food and booze for me!”

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25/02/2015
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Take You To Church You’ll Worship Like A Dog

“I’m curious to know what you think of someone asking a semi-stranger, “What church do you go to?” or, even worse, “Do you go to church?”

It seems as intrusive as asking “How much do you weigh?” or “How much money do you make?” or “Are your kids gay or straight?”

Maybe churches today are trying to grow their memberships, but the way I was raised, someone’s personal relationship with God was PERSONAL.

I know people like to categorize, but to me the question is rude.

Am I just out of step? — Offended”

Dear Offended:

You’re out of step.

Maybe this dude is trying to find a church to attend. Of course churches want to grow their memberships. If they didn’t then they would’ve died out long ago with the people who founded them!

I fail to see how this church question equates to the questions you posed as intrusive. You sound very cloistered in your worship and faith which, let’s face it, is not what being religious and being one with God is all about. It’s about inclusion and learning and growing with others. You’re probably the guy in the last row of the church, tucked alllllllll the way into the corner where no one else is around because you want your space in your church. Newsflash Padre: That’s not very Christian.

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