“My sister has been engaged for the past year and has everything planned for a wedding this summer. However, her fiance has recently contacted her to let her know he is no longer interested in marrying her.
My sister is distraught, but we have a four-month window to cancel the hotel, the band, etc., and still recoup a large portion of the deposit money.
My sister does not want us to cancel anything. She has told us multiple times that if we cancel the wedding, she won’t have the opportunity to fix this broken relationship, and she will wind up never getting married. She is having a very hard time coming to terms with her current situation. Meanwhile, her fiance has moved out of their home and is living with a friend.
If we do not cancel the venue we stand to lose many thousands of dollars, but we still want to support my sister. What is the right thing to do? — Distraught”
Dear Distraught:
Your sister is living in Crazy Town and not the one populated by the band of the same name.
This thing with her fiance is done, finished. The relationship is not broken at this point, it’s shattered. Keeping the wedding afloat in the hopes that he’ll reconsider is the pipiest(new word) of pipe dreams. He’s moved out and moved on. Wasting money on this extravagant party – which it’s just that at this point, a party – is a truly horrible idea.
What if he doesn’t show? Which he won’t. How crushed will she be when that happens? That would be worse than calling off the whole thing. It would be traumatizing and she may never recover from the humiliation. You can’t let her go through with this plan.
By canceling everything now you are supporting her future.