Tag Archives: Wedding

29/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Wedding Bells Are Wringing Your Wallet

“My best friend (I have known her for 40 years) is getting married for the third time. I was maid of honor at her first wedding and showered her with some very nice gifts at that time.

That marriage lasted two years. She got married the second time. Again, I gave her very nice gifts, both monetary and items from her registry. That marriage lasted 20 years.

Now, she is marrying a guy she knew in grammar school and reconnected with on Facebook.

My family of three is attending this third reception. They are having a dinner in a country club with dancing and a photo booth.

What would be an appropriate gift? My husband is not fond of my friend and feels we should not give a generous gift.

What is your opinion? — Hope Third Time is the Charm!”

Dear Hope:

Why are you telling me they have a photo booth? This doesn’t help me make my decision. In fact, it doesn’t even influence my decision. Give her the cheapest thing on her registry, it’s as easy as that. I don’t know why this is such a dilemma since your husband, and I’m guessing you too, feel that she has received enough lavish gifts from you. KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

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20/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Auntie’s Offspring Have Been Busy

“At 88 years of age, I am the last remaining child of a family of nine children. My health is fair, and my income is sufficient.

My problem is that I have 35 nieces and nephews (all in another state) who are starting to marry. They are kindly extending invitations to me. I have sent a financial gift to four weddings, but if I continue at this pace I’ll be broke.

How do I stop this “graciously”? They do love their aunt. — Auntie Em, The Great”

Dear Auntie:

35!? Daaaaaaaayummmmm, your family knows how to procreate. I’d suggest finding the cheapest thing on their registry and buying that OR just giving them a memento from your family. And if they just want money tell them that the way that you’re gifting money that you’ll have to move in with them at some point. That will give them a good scare and let them know that you can’t give them money anymore.

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16/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – There Are No Weddings in Baseball!!!

“My fiance and I are planning to get married over Memorial Day weekend. It’ll be a relatively small family-oriented affair — held in the same location as my father’s memorial last year.

My older sister is in my wedding party. She and her husband have been together most of my life (they married when I was 9 years old).

My sister informed me yesterday that her husband and my 12-year-old nephew may need to miss most of the festivities because he has a baseball tournament that weekend.

They also missed my father’s memorial for the same reason.

Amy, I understand that guests have other priorities, but I feel incredibly hurt that such a special occasion is being trumped by a baseball tournament. I feel it’s teaching my nephew skewed priorities. I come from a family of athletes; I understand juggling practice and playing with other priorities.

Should I address this directly or accept it? I don’t want to be an egocentric bride, but this hurts. Please share your perspective. — Disappointed Bride”

Dear Disappointed:

Let me get this straight – you chose one of the busiest weekends of the year to hold your wedding knowing that your nephew and brother-in-law missed your father’s memorial that same weekend the year before. You clearly knew that this was a possibility. I mean, they missed a memorial service over baseball…c’mon.

These types of tournaments are held throughout the year on various holiday weekends with various sports: soccer & Thanksgiving, basketball & Christmas, Football & New Year’s etc etc etc. You should know this since you, allegedly, come from “a family of athletes”.

I don’t believe that this is teaching your nephew to skew his priorities at all. He is obviously doing something that he loves and not doing it out of malice toward you, he’s 12. If you demand that they both be there then that’s a surefire way to make your nephew hate you. I believe you should address it but delicately. Mention that you’re disappointed that they might not be there (yeah, you said might, this could all change and everything could be fine) and hope that if they can make it that you’d obviously love to have them.

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06/12/2014
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Advice

“Jaw With John” – Drunk at the wedding, what else is new?

“My husband and I were married last year, and it truly was the best day of our lives.

The only problem was my maid of honor. She was very controlling, pestered me about details that I did not care about and tried to schedule every second of the whole weekend.

I ended up being quite blunt. Between the ceremony and reception, while my husband and I were getting our photos taken, she got extremely intoxicated.

She was a disaster during group photos and proceeded to get intoxicated to the point where the wait staff cut her off. Her speech was a blubbering mess and she bawled through the entire reception.

She was my best friend prior to this. I feel a tremendous sense of loss at the change in our relationship and am having trouble coping. We have discussed it since, and she blames me for being mean to her prior to the wedding, however, I don’t think that excuses her behavior.

She has left a dark cloud over my memory of my wedding day and I am having a hard time forgiving her. How can I get past this? — Newlywed”

Dear Newlywed:

As my understanding of weddings go, the Maid of Honor is supposed to be on top of what is going on and to possibly take things off your (the bride’s) plate so you can focus on your wedding. She sounds like she was just trying to make your special day easier and as efficient as possible.

Did you ever think that maybe she was a “blubbering mess” and crying throughout the reception because she was losing her best friend? It was clearly an emotional time for her and it sounds like you misread the signs and she coped by drinking – which, by the way, how did she get so drunk in between the ceremony and the photo taking? That’s maybe a 30-40 minute window… Kudos to her then for partying hard and maximizing her time. Furthermore, where was her date to take care of her!? Or maybe the Best Man!? But, you also don’t deny that you were mean to her prior to the wedding. No, it doesn’t excuse her reactions but shunning her was the wrong course of action.

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